Stop! 🛑 🚨🚧

God: 🚧 Stop.

Me: I can’t.

The Universe: 🚨 Stop!

Me: I can’t afford to.

Life: 🛑 STOP!

Me: I’m afraid to.

God/Life/The Universe:

I needed to stop, to take a break, long before the tornado brought this life to a screeching halt.

I needed to stop after my dad died and I couldn’t get to his funeral. I didn’t. I had also just recently lost my home care position as my client had passed away. It was a double whammy: Lost job. Lost father. I had to immediately get on unemployment, find a job, have stupid weekly unemployment checks/meetings.

I needed to stop after Hurricane Katrina. I didn’t. Not only did I NOT stop, I did an extreme amount of overtime to ‘make due’.

I needed to stop after mom died. I didn’t. I stopped long enough for an 11 day binder. Then, I put on my ‘big girl panties’ put my head down, and hid in overtime for years.

I needed to stop many times, after that. I didn’t. I didn’t feel as if I could. I HAD to pay the bills. I just HAD to be available, round the clock, for family, for work, for the church, for friends, for…you get the point.

In all that ‘working’ I stopped working, for my work. I worked for work’s sake. I worked for the sake of work. I worked because I knew nothing else.

I’m learning how to stop. For my mental health sake. For my heart sake. For me. I have needed to stop for a long time now. I have given myself permission to stop. I have to learn how to begin again, slowly. I have to learn how to take my time. To be sure to give myself time to grow and learn and prosper.

We do ourselves a disservice when we run ourselves into the ground. We do not honor our family and God when we do this. We have to love ourselves while we are loving others.

Be sure to stop and rest as needed. Make sure not to live your life running on empty.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: The life is just as important as all the people you take care of. Make sure you love yourself as well.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Thanks/Giving.

I am thankful. I am giving thanks for ALL of the hard this year. Today is Thanksgiving. I am grateful for my home. I am grateful for folk who love me.

I am appreciative for all the terribly hard lessons I have been forced to learn. I am grateful for my try.

I am grateful for every person who have sent a like or warm thought my way. I am thankful for every person who has stopped by for a laugh and a bit of encouragement.

I am soooooooooooooooooooooo thankful to see another day. Even as they be a bit rough, at the moment.

Ah, God, thanks for this day. Thanks for being You. Thanks for loving me. Thanks for helping ME learn to love me some me.

I am stopping ’round long enough to set out a plate for those who are alone, like me. Know we are NOT alone. Just by ourselves. There is a difference…lol.

grateful for life,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: What are you grateful for? It helps when we remind ourselves what we have, how far we have come, how much love we have yet to experience. Be encouraged.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Loss is NOT lost.

I am learning, beloveds.

Learning that not all loss is lost.

And, losing does NOT mean that we are lost. It just means that The Universe needed to relieve us of some old things. So, we can obtain new and better things.

Us humans are a comfortable lot. We like things the way they have always been. We don’t like change. Unless it changes the way we think things should.

Ah, should. Such a maddening word. Should is forever telling us what we ‘should’ be doing or ‘should’ NOT be doing. Shut it, should!

I have had to learn to do more with much less. Much, much, much less. Who knew?

What’s more, I have learned to hold loosely to EVERYTHING save my relationship with God. That, I hold onto with all that is within me. The rest? I am enjoying what has remained. I am letting go of what has decided to leave or has been taken away.

In all this losing, beloveds, I have gained so much more peace, perseverance, tenacity, integrity, grit, laughter, foolishness and fun. I have never laughed so much at my stupidity in all of my life. I have enjoyed my mishaps. I have done some particularly, astonishingly dumb things whilst in the midst of tremendous what in the fresh hell is this ness.

I have enjoyed the super early hours I have experienced, when unable to sleep because of bills that won’t leave me alone. I have been pleased to see me getting up off the mat, after I have sworn I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo done with trying.

I have gotten a kick out of encouraging folk when all I want to do is spend the day crying my eyes out. I have laughed uproariously at my pouting when seeing my dreams waiting to be fulfilled. Ack and ow!!!

These times will end up serving me well. In the meantime, I maintain. I fight on.

Keep fighting on with me, beloveds. Laugh at your mishaps. Love someone. Starting with you.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I love you, beloveds. I am praying hard for all of us. I am asking for financial breakthroughs. I am requesting peace of mind. I am seeking a fresh bushel of hope to be distributed to all. Be sure to fill up, okay?



One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Go for it!

Go for it!

You may lose. So what! Go for it, anyway!

Go for it!

You may end up with less/loss. So what?! Go for it, anywho!

Go for it!

You may end up ten steps backwards. So what?! Go for it, N_E-Waze!

You may end up winning the whole enchilada! You may end up in the greatest blessing of your life.

You will never know until you TRY, beloveds.

Go for it!

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Go for it! What in the fresh heckamiah are you waiting for!!!!!!????

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Give yourself permision.

Give yourself permission.

Permission to heal.

Permission to care.

Permission to FEEL.

Too often, beloveds, we do not give ourselves near enough grace. We force ourselves to work well past the cut off point. We make ourselves give until we are empty. Then, we give what we don’t have. Then, we shut off our feels to the point our hearts are hurting, exhausted and weary.

Yet, we refuse to give ourselves permission to feel, to rest, to experience and to grow.

I have been angry with myself, stupidly so, for being so shaken following the tornado. Only someone who has literally had a tornado outside their door/home will even understand what I am saying here. I am thankful most have not and pray they never will.

There is something that happens to the mind, at least to MY mind, knowing I was literally a breath away from death. I am not afraid to die. That said, when a tornado comes calling, all bets are off on the ‘I’m not afraid’ thing.

I have been trying to get my comfort back, ever since. There are days when I think I have found it. Other days, I cower beneath uncertainty. I hover next to unexpected doom/dread. I tell doom/dread to go away. They leave. They return. Rinse. Repeat.

I just stopped by, beloveds, to let someone know it really IS okay to not be okay until one is okay again. I will be okay. Soon? I don’t know. Maybe if my not being okay had not cost me my job, I would be faring better. Now, I have to fight to regain my footing, whilst trying to find another gig. The most frightening time ever.

Still, this time has been no surprise for The Universe. I WILL make it through. I just have to go through this time. One step at a time. One day at a time. Often, one second at a time.

In the meantime, I am drinking lots of coffee. I am writing. I am singing badly…*shrug*. I am doing chores. Sorta. I am trying to be kinder to me and my slow getting it together self.

This has been a beautiful time, though. I have nursed the night, until it turned back into day. I have chased the dawn until it turned into tomorrow.

I have found new parts of me. I have tossed out old parts. God has given them back…hahahaha!!

I have laughed a bit. I have cried a ton.

I have lived. I AM living. Now. Here. I’m not waiting for this or that to live. I am doing my level best to enjoy my day(s). There is a gift in those things, eh? I think so.

Right now I have mood lights blinking in agreement. I have a nice cup of coffee waiting for me to finish this piece. I spent a delish few hours commiserating with my wombie.

When I finish, I think I shall gather The Father from the curb I kicked Him to, yesterday. Yea, beloveds, I told God I was DONE praying and asking for things I have been asking for every day for the past five hundred fifty million bajillon seventeen days to NO result…lol. I sowwy, Father.

Be encouraged, beloved. Give yourself permission would you please and thanks?

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Cut yourself some slack. Remember, you are doing the best you know how. you will get to where you need to go. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with your circumstances. In the meantime, do the best you can to enjoy your day.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Mishmash.

Mom made the best mishmash. She would take whatever leftovers she could find and toss it in a pot. Half the time it looked a mess. Mishmash! Man, that mishmash was fantastic!

I have begun to do the same. I have leftovers that have to be eaten. If I ate them as originally intended, they would spoil. So, I snatched a bowl of this. I grabbed a tub of that. I combined them both and presto! Mishmash. Fabulous.

My life feels like mishmash, at the moment. This, in upheaval. That, almost gone. Mixed together they have made a ton of what in the fresh hell is this/that!??

I keep asking what the universe is going to do with this mishmash. I wish I knew. I keep asking only to be greeted with silence. The silence has gotten old. I am growing older by the day.

In the meantime, I will keep making this mishmash. I’m doing my best to make all things work together for my good. Even the hard things.

Keep making your mishmash. don’t waste time getting upset with the ingredients. Use what you have. Grow as much as you can. Go as far as you can go.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I want to tell the cheerleader to me to shut up. Unfortunately, I can’t do that. I have to keep looking up. I have to keep moving forward. Whether I feel like it or not. How boring is that? Keep on keeping on. Whether you feel like it or not. We got thangs to do.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Keep being optimistic.

Be optimistic. The glass is half full. This tough time has been teaching me to see things as half full. Life is more than a bank account. I am learning this the hard way. I have been working most of my life. I honestly don’t know how to not work.

Work had been a big part of my identity. I didn’t feel like me when I wasn’t working. I didn’t feel as if I would be chosen if I wasn’t working hard. I didn’t feel as though I would be loved if I wasn’t working myself to the bone. I didn’t think God would love me if I wasn’t forever doing his will all the time. I didn’t believe I could rest on my laurels. I had to keep giving and giving and giving and giving and giving.

I think God is keeping the work door closed so I can rest and learn that I am so much more than a job. It took almost two months before I began to rest. slowly. I still find myself wanting to go, go, go so I can pay rent to The Universe and be loved and accepted.

Choosing to stand on faith when you have nothing in sight that says things will come true…*sigh*…It’s a tough deal. I’m trying my hardest to see things as half full.

Keep seeing things as half full. You will ALWAYS be right!!

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Your faith will serve you well. Keep standing on business!

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Learning to do good for you, while being good to me.

I’m learning.

I’m learning, slowly, clumsily, frustratingly, patiently.

I’m learning, slowly, clumsily, frustratingly, patiently, world, to do good for you, while being good to me.

All my life, I have been taught/trained to do/be good to you, world, at the expense of, and/or the detriment of me.

I’m learning to do good for you, while being good to me. We can do both. We must do both.

I’m learning how to communicate more effectively. I’m trying hard to understand. I’m trying to hold myself to another standard. A standard where I choose love. Always. Whether that love is returned or not.

Today, I tried to communicate. It didn’t go very well. I tried. I can live with that. in the past, I would’ve blamed myself because the other person didn’t understand what I was trying to say. I now understand that’s not my issue. I articulated as best as I could. I was not understood. I could not understand where they were coming from. That’s okay. it happens. I will try again.

I don’t know when it became fashionable for folks to give up on one another so easily. We have to keep talking to one another. We have to keep trying to find the common ground. We have to keep being the light.

I refuse to believe that folks can’t come together in communication and love. Life is what we each make it out to be. Let’s keep loving one another. We can all do better than what we are doing currently. I believe in the best of us. I believe we can all rise above the lowest common denominator. I believe there’s more in us that wants to do right and to live right.

Make sure you are doing good for you as you help others. Be sure to keep yourself full of love. Make sure you’re taking care of that beautiful heart of yours.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Nuff said.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

If this piece encouraged you, share it with someone please/thanks.

Sing a new song.

Sing a new song.

Write a new chapter.

Clear a new path.

Try it a different way.

Routines are comforting. They are familiar. They can also get us into a rut. I’m trying new things. I am getting up at different times. I am trying new dishes. I am opening my heart up to new experiences.

I am taking the sting out of the unknown. I am welcoming the unknown as a friend. I wonder what this day shall bring to me, today?

In doing this, beloveds, I find myself racing to get to the day. I no longer dread it because of what may, perhaps, could happen. I am letting life happen. I am happening to life. I am living in the NOW. Right NOW.

This time has been precious. Priceless even. I’m trying new things. I’m allowing myself to do things in a new way.

Sing a new song. Write a new chapter. Start a new journey. It’s never too late.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: The only thing you have to lose is fear. Go for it. You can do it. You will do it.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

If this piece encouraged you, share it with someone please/thanks.

What are you filling yourself with?

What are you filling yourself with?

I spent much too much time filling my heart with gloom and doom, this week.

I don’t know why. Maybe, it’s because Thanksgiving is next week. Holidays are absolutely brutal for single folk!

Holidays are meant for only FAMILIES to enjoy. Or, that’s how all the commercials and Hallmark movies seem to say.

Families are shown baking cookies and pies and having a whale of a time. Lovers are all lovie, old couples swoon all over each other whilst enjoying their now 50 year love affair.

Whilst us single, old folk sit alone, wondering what in the fresh hell and pretending we are frolicking through fields of clover.

I am typically content for most of the year. I must admit Thanksgiving alone can be brutal. Friends with family share their vacation/holiday plans and I make sure to let them know how excited I am for them. I am.

Then, I make a big production of watching football games alone. I do enjoy the games. Thanksgiving is when I miss mom most. She loved football. We would hoot and holler while stuffing our faces with holiday eats.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I am feeling myself with goodness this week. I am being kinder to myself. I am refusing to allow myself to isolate. I’m reaching out more. I’m trying to laugh more. I’m making sure to hydrate. I’m making sure to feed myself. I’m making sure to keep pushing forward as best as I can. I’m giving myself more of a break. I’m cutting myself more slack. I’m giving myself the love I would like. I would like to receive. I’m not waiting to be loved. I’m loving myself.

Make sure you’re feeding yourself plenty of love and good things. You don’t have to wait on others to love you. Love yourself. Love will find you as you seek her!



One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!