I turned off the alarm, intent on not doing the day.
I told intent to shut it.
I boiled eggs.
I made coffee.
Who wants some?
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Don’t allow your feels to run the show. Tell your feels to shut it and get up and get moving already. Hard will STILL be waiting for you. Remember, though, hard ain’t nothing but a word. We got this. And, if we don’t got this, we know Who does. Be encouraged.
is a friend who brings the opportunity to say goodbye.
This grief…
is opportunity to let go.
This grief…
is NOT my new normal.
This grief…
is just that: grief.
Knowing these things, I move FORWARD. Understanding these things, I look UP.
I’m in the have to stage of hard. I have to. I can’t base my try on anyone or anything else.
I just stopped by to encourage someone. Starting with me.
Be encouraged.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I didn’t think I could do today. I didn’t know HOW. Try simply asked me to try. I tried. I did. Be encouraged. We got this. And, even when WE don’t got this, He has got this.🥰🙏👍
I told myself not to focus on being perfect. Sis and I never had a perfect relationship. Why would/should I expect her leaving to be perfect, for my grieving to be smooth, for the present to be anything but the 🎢 roller-coaster life has been, since sis passed away. Ah, sis, what do I DO with me now?
Finally, finally, FINALLY, I began to remember what I had forgotten. As we speak, my clumsy attempt at saying goodbye is being downloaded so I can upload the video. Or, was I supposed to upload it so I can download it? 😁🤷♀️
We shall see what comes out in the wash. The sound may be spotty, the background music may be too loud, my too loud voice may be too low from grief and fatigue.
That’s okay. It will be the best me I could be for her. For whosoever will happen upon a video one ought never have to make.
I just stopped by to encourage someone. Starting with me. Don’t allow stressful circumstances to stress you out. Do what you can. Reach out for help and support. Stand on FAITH. Tell fear to kick rocks. Pray. Laugh. Rejoice. Live. Love. Live some more. Rinse. Repeat.
Keep moving FORWARD. Keep looking UP. We got this. God has us all.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: This has been THE hardest 7 days of my life. Hands down. Losing all my savings, losing mom, having a 🌪 tornado in the yard was NOTHING compared to the last 7 days. Yikes.😳🌪🎢😥😭😡🧓😴🍍☔️😱
I choose to tell anger that it shall NOT speak for me.
Anger is an imposter. Anger disguises what is truly felt. I choose to deal with my actual grief, disbelief, despair, and wondering, in real time. Now. Here.
Beloveds, life gets to lifing. Don’t hide. It’s okay to despair. It’s okay to not be okay until you are okay.
I generally try to limit myself from bombarding folk inbox with my love and care.
Please understand, beloveds. Life is short. I don’t know how many days I have left. I don’t know how many days YOU have left.
I don’t know who may need what words. I don’t know which words may be needed by what person. So, I write. As God told me. Receive, if needed.
Yet, don’t discard these words. They are costing me everything. 😢
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I am doing my level best to encourage as many as I can. Even as I grieve. Even as I wonder.
I refuse to allow death to mark my days with sadness. I am sad. Still, I have joy. Still, I look forward to my future.
Life is more than the pain you have suffered, beloveds. Life is so very much more than your unrealized dreams. Live. Love. Laugh. Rejoice. Through the hard. In the rain. We got this. Okay, we may not got this today. But that’s okay. I love you.
writing when even as I don’t know what to say now other than “what in the actual fuck, sis?”,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: God gave me this same mandate, beloveds, just after mom passed away. I didn’t. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.
Back then, I was ready for the words clamoring to burst from my tattered soul. So, I didn’t. So, I couldn’t. For years. Eventually, pen jumped into my unwilling hands. I wrote.
Now, I am not ready for the words clamoring to burst from my tattered soul. I write anyway. I have no idea what my heart shall reveal.
We shall see, beloveds, in real time. Together. Ah, God. What do I DO with me now. Asking for a friend.
Be encouraged. Life is good. Even when unbelievably cruel, heartless, mean, fucked up, whacked out.😳😢😡🤯😭🤬😠🤯☔️☔️🤮🤢🤦♀️😵💫😲😥☕️🏈📺🚽
Today was soooooooo beyond hard. So hard, in fact, I could barely see hard in the rearview mirror.
Today was sooooooooo…
Even the writer in me have no words.
Whew.
Whew!
WHEW!!
Still, I am STILL standing!
On FAITH.
Sustained by hope.
Uplifted by ABBA.
Carried by The Spirit.
Floating on the breeze of laughter.
Buoyed by the support of caring fam and friends.
Encouraged by the fight in me.
Ah, God, I hurt. Still, I love. Still, I dream. Still, I rejoice. Still, I am hopeful.
I’m walking straight, wombie.
I’m getting the coffee ready for our chat, mom.
Still, I rise.
Rise, beloveds. You can. Grief comes and goes. Life lifes. Hard can be beyond hard. Yet, we go on. We got thangs to do.
Don’t let anger keep you down. Don’t allow hurt to cause you to walk into a prison of your own making. Come out from there!
In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.
I wondered how I would survive work. I did. I wondered if grief would visit. It did. Yet, joy crowded it out and now I am singing, badly. I am listening to my motivational videos. I am fixing to fix me something to eat.
I wondered if I could DO my daily routine WITHOUT twin here. I can. I will. I have to.
Be encouraged.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Keep doing the day, beloveds. Even when you don’t know how you can. Even when you think you can’t. Even when you can’t see your way out. You WILL find the way. I promise. Better yet, GOD has promised. 😎👍🥰
