“I should have kept the afterbirth and thrown the rest away” – words spoken, from a mother’s lips. Words that could never be. Words that should have never been…said.
Words that shaped EVERY step, every way, of life, or lack thereof, moving forward.
After.
Birth.
Two words, which bore:
Pain.
Doubt.
Helpless.
Hopeless.
I spent many years, decades, trying to wipe the ‘less’, from the mess, thereafter, I felt my life was.
It, was worthless.
Therefore, I, was worthless.
After, birthed a lifelong pursuit, to earn love back:
From, God.
From, Life.
From, mom.
From, the whole damned world.
My world, now damned, became a damned fight to let this world know I was worth a damn!
Dammit!
I matter, my heart shouted!
Do you, doubt jeeringly stated, EVERY step, there…after.
After, ah, after!
After, I prayed for a do over.
After, I prayed for a before.
A before, where after, had never been spoken.
A before, where after, had never happened, and had never, 💔 broken, this ♥ heart, of mine.
To be continued…
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Hang in here, with me. I promise you shall cheer, by journey’s end. Til then, KNOW beloveds, that you are NOT the things that have happened upon you. You are NOT the pain, inflicted upon you. You are NOT your pain.
Remember alway:
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being… YOU
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
- REAL TALK: DESPISE NOT SMALL BEGINNINGS, BELOVEDS.👘🦺🥾👟🥿👞🩴👢🩰👡⛑️🔌🕯️🔎🖌️🖋️📢
- IT ME!
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 