Hard: You got this, Cassandra.

faith, God, hope, Inspiration, Poetry, Running, walking, Writing 1 Minute

“You got this, Cassandra.”

“YOU GOT THIS, CASSANDRA!”

Over and over, ALL week, my trainer has been encouraging me.

Over and over, I secretly did NOT believe her. Okay, I did not believe in ME…*sigh*. I felt:

Old.

Ancient.

Decrepit.

I also felt:

Left out.

Unneeded.

Unwanted.

Can I tell you something, beloveds? Promise not to tell?…*sigh*.

I was secretly hurt I had to spend my 55th birthday alone. Yea, God was with me. I couldn’t SEE Him. Yes, mom was with me. I couldn’t HEAR her voice. Yeah, Jesus loves me. I couldn’t HOLD His Hand.

So, I have been feeling inadequate, somehow. I told myself it was okay and I had fun. I did. I WAS okay, then. Now? Thanksgiving is coming and another occasion I spend alone. Yet, not.

Soooooooooooooooo training felt like another extension of not being enough, not knowing enough, not knowing how.

Crap.

Yet, the AMAZING thing was I was also full of joy and hope and peace. How? Why? Because, I chose, I decided, on the front end I would enjoy my week I didn’t care what happened.

It’s a good thing I made the choice, BEFORE I started. All hell AND it’s friends, broke out and showed out every which way. System issues made work almost unworkable.

The bill monster jumped out of the closet trying to scare the bejeez out of me.

Vertigo decided to take me to here and yon and refused to let go. It twirls, even now.

Insomnia has come calling and keeps trying to invite grief. I told them both to kick rocks. I have thangs to do.

For those who are struggling or tired:

Be encouraged. Keep to your routine. This time will pass. It will. No, you are never the same, after a tough loss of any kind. Still, your newness can and will be fulfilling IF you choose to be.

You got this. As do I. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being you.

doing thangs together,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Pppsssst: Hey, someone post a good note. I’m hiding out from Silent Knight and Valencia. Don’t tell them I was here, okay?…*Cassandra ponders her next sneak attack.*

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Published by Cassandra S.

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4 thoughts on “Hard: You got this, Cassandra.”

  1. 🌙🕶️ No more hiding; your sneak attack has been foiled.
    “You’re not hiding from Silent Knight and Valencia; you’re orchestrating a surprise entrance!” 🕵️‍♀️😄 Keep rocking, and may your next sneak attack be legendary! 🚀💖
    Your decision to choose joy and embrace the week with positivity is inspiring. Keep doing your thangs, and remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Sneak attack or not, your positivity is contagious! 😄🌟

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    1. Uh, oh! Foiled…*Cassandra knowing she must find others to help her on her quest seeks others to join her spoil the dastardly deeds of her once trusted comrades…*…😂. We got thangs to do my no longer Silent Knight..

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