Everything IS going to be alright! https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8vgRngObWM/?igsh=MXA2bjllbG16Z2ttcg==
Nuff said.
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Keep going…
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
If nothing else, beloveds, I am learning how to adapt. Fresh heckamiah!
Without the internet, I have missed ALL of my shows!!….stamps foot. The US Open is this week!!!……..Ack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In desperation, I ordered a stupid antennae so I can see about, at the very least, finding a few digital channels so I can watch the last round or two of the Us Open.
Said antannae came. Have been fighting with the dumb thing for a day and a half!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!
The stupid thing will find a few channels, will taunt me I can’t see them and will boot me off the correct Input channel.
WHAT IN THE FRESH HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finally, finally, FIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAALLLLLY, beloveds, I figured out that I had to turn off the Hotspot, on my phone, so the channels can register on the BLASTED TELEVISION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, after a day of agony, I am prepared to watch some golf come Sunday. If I have a Sunday. If the stupid antennae thingie willl even work already!!!
Here is where I would normally insert something incredbily inspiring and insightful about using the tough moments to teach you new things. Or, something equally as true and dumb about using the old to bring back things you enjoy. However, ALL I want to do right now is scream at the stupid non working tv because I do NOT HAVE THE INTERNET BECAUSE TWO DAMMED TORNADOES CAME IN, STOLE ALL MY EXPENSIVE FOOD, RIPPED UP MY FLIPPING YARD, STOMPED THROUGH ALL MY STOMPING GROUNDS AND HAVE LEFT ME WITH NO WORK CHECK BECAUSE I CAN’T WORK BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE THE STUPID INTERNET AND FOLK ARE OVER CARING ABOUT THIS ISSUE SO I AM ON MY OWN DEALING WITH THE FACT I COULD HAVE DIED IN THE STUPID TORNADOES!!!!
Ehem, scuze me,…coug….oooppps.
Me thinks it is time for a coffee break.
In the meantime, beloveds, it’s okay to have a bit of a flip out whilst your life is being flipped about. I would offer to share a cup of coffee but I wouldn’t blame you for saying no about now.
Be encouraged.
I’m hoping all is well. If not, come over my way and have a scream, er, cup of coffee with me.
here still(I think),
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I love you. Nuff said.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
Sis sent a text.
She wanted to talk.
I did NOT want to talk.
I wanted to hide.
I picked up the phone.
I dialed.
We talked.
We shared.
We loved.
We lamented.
We cared.
Ah, God. Life is hard just now. I don’t want to talk to You, just now. You let that damned tornado tear up my damned yard!
God: Pick up the phone.
Me: K.
picking up the phone,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Keep picking up the phone, beloveds. We all need each other. Even when the very last thing we want to do is to reach out. Reach out anywho. Asking for A Friend. Asking for ME.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
Ten steps forward.
50 steps back.
Rinse.
Repeat.
Fresh hell!!!!
I’m a bit fed up, beloveds.
With having to be positive.
With having to be about being about it when the LAST thing I want to do is be about it.
Geeeeeeeeeeez.
So, what am I DOING whilst having these feelings?
Being about it, of course.
Shhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuttttt!
It’s a have to now.
I want to quit.
Badly.
Right here.
Right now.
I just want to flop down in this dead spot and say so what and who gives two hoots and leave me alone.
I won’t.
I can’t.
I have thangs to do.
Crapola.
What shall I do instead?
Take out the trash.
Make coffee.
Make chicken strips.
Hmm.
brb,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Life is short. Keep taking your two steps forward. Not your fault when having to take 50 back…*shrug*. Be encouraged. In case no one has told you today: I love you.
And, if you get a few extra pieces today…*shrug*. It’s either encourage you and me or stay in bed all day lamenting how hard life is. I did that yesterday. Booooooooooooooooooring. Let’s go, beloveds. We got thangs to do.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
Sad, why you so mad?
Mad, ‘cuz I won’t give in to you.
Mad, cuz I REFUSE to turn my back on me.
Mad, cuz I will NOT give up on my dreams.
Ha!
Don’t be mad, sad.
It’s how God made me.
It’s how hard has helped me to be.
It’s how Life taught me to be.
It’s how The Universe helped shaped me to be:
Joyful.
Hopeful.
Steadfast.
Steady.
Unmoved by all the movement.
Uplifted by all that has been uprooted.
Undaunted by all the daunting things which has befallen me.
Why?
You should know the answer by now:
I am loved.
I am NOT alone.
How then, sad, can I STAY sad, knowing these things?
Don’t be mad, sad.
Get gone. Take your friends with you. I have no need of them. Me and joy has thangs to do. If you are going to hang around, sad, you shall do so in the midst of my song!
doing thangs with joy in the midst of sad,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: It’s okay, beloveds, to be sad. The bible says weeping may endure for the night but that joy comes in the morning. Til then, I shall cry with you. Then, we shall rise and continue doing our thangs, eh? Be encouraged. Asking for A Friend.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
Fear: Give me your joy.
Me: No.
Fear: Trust me.
Me: No.
Fear: Give up.
Me: No.
Fear: Stop believing.
Me: No.
Fear: Stop asking for your dreams to come true.
Me: No.
Fear: Think of me first, last and always.
Me: No.
Fear: Don’t trust Him.
Me: Shut it!!
Fear: K…
Tell fear no, beloveds. Don’t waste time trying to convince it you are not afraid of it. Tell it to kick rocks and keep it moving. Stand. On FAITH. Standing on fear only makes it stronger and you feel weaker.
You are not.
You are:
Loved.
NOT alone.
Nuff said,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Psalm 27:5 says: Fir in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion; In the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock.
Ah, God, my times are troubled. Help me not to fear this fear that is trying it’s best to best me. I’m afraid, God. Of what may come. Of what has come. Be with me as I try. My try seems terribly insufficient. I need Your Grace. I need You to open the windows of heaven and pour out a financial blessing large enough to drown out all these bills that won’t stop billing. Asking for me and a ton of friends…..
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
I told Reality to take two seats!
Kick rocks!
Let GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO of my dreams!
I will NOT give up.
Not yet.
Ah, God.
I’m tired.
Ah, Life.
You are hurting soooooooooooooooooo much.
Ah, Universe.
When in the fresh hell shall you work FOR me and get me from underneath Reality’s Laughter.
I stopped my pitiful, beloveds, long enough to remind you that it’s perfectly okay to not be okay until you are okay. Ok?
Right now, I am looking at some gorgeous waterfalls and uplifting and TRUE scriptures to feed my tired and weary soul.
I made myself a cup of coffee so I can have a good yak with mom and let her know how haaarrrrrrrrd life is being right now.
My headphones are pumping out some fantastically hopeful music. Ah, beloveds, hang on in there!
I know. I know. I sound like a broken record. I am boring me with the sameness of these words. Doesn’t make them less true. Just makes me less interesting….hahahahahahahaha.
Ah, beloveds. Be sure to laugh. Don’t allow ANYTHING to steal your joy, take your laughter, make you run away from the awesomeness of your life. Things shall get better. They shall.
The trick is learning how to maintain and rejoice in the meantime.
I HATE IN THE MEANTIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT TAKES FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wait, beloveds. Just wait. Your turn IS coming. Your turn IS here. In the meantime, make some coffee. Read a book. Take a break. Take a breath. Then, get on back in there and live. Rinse. Repeat.
asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I love you.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
I can’t right the wrong(s) of the world.
I can love the world regardless of how the world responds.
I will.
I can’t change the past or what folk did in the past.
I can do my best to create a better future for the world.
I will.
I can’t.
I can.
I will.
We all make the world a better or worse place.
By our choices.
By our actions.
By our inaction(s).
I feel hopeless sometimes.
I feel helpless at times.
I feel hopeful always.
Yet, I try.
doing what I can,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Feeling awfully hopeless. Feeling quite a bit helpless. Feeling a tad hopeful.
I keep wondering when my change might come. Earlier, I cried knowing there is a chance my change will never come. Not as I imagine it should or shall or should.
I did NOT want to get out of bed. I stayed in bed. ALL day. I did NOT want to get up. I got up. I made me make coffee. I made me make me turn on the laptop. I made me make me turn on some uplifting music.
Finally, I made me make me get on here to tell you:
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Ah, beloveds. Keep going. Keep walking. Rest when needed. Rinse. Repeat. Be sure, beloveds to turn up the music. Loud. Dance through this hard. Ah, God, why does life have to be so lifery right now?! Asking for many friends…
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
God: Rest now.
Me: I can’t.
God: Rest. Now.
Me: I don’t know how.
God: Rest.
Me: I’m afraid to.
God: Why?
Me: I’m afraid I will/have run out of time.
God: I got you. Rest now.
Me: K.
Today, I rested.
Finally.
FINALLY!
What made me rest?
Finally being honest.
With me.
With God.
With fam.
With friends.
Fam understood.
Friends, seemingly or so I thought, either pretended I didn’t share or ignored me. See, beloveds, folk have been used to me keeping MY hurt/hard to myself, whilst bearing THEIR burden/hard so THEY could keep on keeping on.
God has been trying to get me to stop doing this for years.
Life has been trying to get me to stop doing this, for years.
The Universe has been trying to get me to stop doing this. For years!
What led me to stop doing this?
Sheer:
Exhaustion.
Fatigue.
Anger.
Frustration.
Resignation.
Acceptance.
Release.
I released ME, beloveds. I don’t blame THEM. I was the one who was forever toting water that was meant to be toted by others.
Now, I tote mine. And, I support others as they tote their own.
The main purpose of this blog, beloveds, is to gently try and pry the bucket from your willing hand(s). Put it down, beloveds. Back away. Rest now.
Rest.
Now.
asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Beloveds, you do NOT owe anyone anything. Yes, you love. Because, you CHOOSE to love. You don’t love simply to win/earn love, in return. Love shall ALWAYS love. It’s all Love knows.
Stop paying rent, beloveds. You do NOT have to perform to be seen, heard, loved and value. I see you. God sees you. The folk who truly care, sees you.
Lift up your head.
Open your heart and watch The Universe fill you with so much love you can’t but share it.
I love me some you. As does He. Love some you, will you? Asking for Your Friend.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
Me: Can you take it back?
God: What?
Me: The tornado.
God: Why?
Me: Because, my life is now before and after. Before the tornado I felt. After the tornado I couldn’t/can’t feel. Anything. Everything.
God: I understand.
Me: I don’t. I’m not sure I ever will.
God: Trust Me?
Me: I do.
God: Then TRUST Me!
Me: K.
I find myself stupidly, beloveds, wanting to ask God to take back the tornado. Literally. Yes, I KNOW this is irrational AND impossible.
I want to be writing of other things. Random things. Dumb thing like singing in my underwear.
I don’t want to be telling you to hang in there all the while wondering what in the fresh hell are we holding onto and what for?!
Be encouraged, beloveds. Hard times truly do happen to good people. To all people.
Hard times do not discriminate. Hard times could care less what color you are let alone how much money you have in the bank.
The one thing I hold on during this time is this:
I am loved.
I am NOT alone.
I have to keep telling myself this. Outloud.
I AM LOVED!
I AM NOT ALONE!!
I have never felt so:
Lost.
Alone.
Bereft.
Confused.
Afraid/sorta/kinda/maybe just a smide?
I have also never felt so:
Loved.
Not alone.
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo confusing!
I won’t lie and say my faith has not been tested. And, surprisingly so. For me, or so I thought, my faith would never be in doubt or in question, during this latest hard.
Ha!
Tell THAT to the tornado that tore through and snatched all of my:
Confidence.
Belief that such a thing would not befall me.
Knowledge that everything would remain the same after every storm.
God would storm, loudly, and would make sure I could SEE His Hand in such a terribly dark and hard place.
Nope, He sure did not show up and show out. In fact, the opposite has happened. God sits. Silently. Quietly. Watching. Watching. Watching and doing I have not the first clue what!
Watching my faith.
Watching my try.
Watching MY actions.
It’s NOT what happens, beloveds, which determines our faith. It is what we allow/choose/make happen within us.
We can choose to be:
Bitter.
Angry.
Hopeless.
Or, we can choose to be:
Prayerful.
Hopeful.
Resourceful.
Resilient.
Joyful.
I can not tell you how many times, beloveds, I bargained and bartered with God to turn back the hands of the clock!
Ah, God. Why did You take my mom?
Oh, God. WHY did You ALLOW this happening to happen?!
Ow, God. WHY did you not tell me that my before will now forever be my after?!
Before the tornado…
After the tornado…
I hate those words!
I am making peace with my now. It’s a slow process. It’s frustrating. It’s sad. It’s stunning.
Still, I sing.
Badly.
Still, I dance.
Awkwardly.
Still, I enjoy my coffee and yaks with mom and The Father as I lament these happenings.
Still, I write.
Still, I hope.
Ah, God. I hope!
Hope with me, beloveds.
For you.
For me.
For others.
asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: My heart is at peace. Though stirred, I KNOW all shall be well. I think. I hope. Ah, God. Hurry. We are tired. Be there for us. Asking for many friends…
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 