Month: July 2024

Give yourself permission.

Give yourself permission.

Give yourself permission to fail.

Give yourself permission to try.

Give yourself permission to rest.

Give yourself permission to stay.

Give yourself permission to do absolutely nothing.

Give yourself permission to ‘be lazy’.

Give yourself permission to be loud.

Give yourself permission to be silent.

Give yourself permission.

You do NOT have to ALWAYS being doing what you THINK is expected of you. Put down the weight of your own expectations. Put down the weight of the expectations of others.

Give yourself permission to be whatever the world your heart feels the need to BE. Just BE. Folk are so worried about what others may think of them being they forget to just be.

Enough with that!

Kick rocks, expectations. Our expectations are from Him. And, ALL God asks for us to do is to try. That’s it. We do NOT have to be perfect. We do NOT have to walk this earth all dolled up and lovely.

There are times when we feel like running around in sweats and having a bad hair day. Give yourself permission, beloveds, to have a bad hair day! God loves you. Just as you are.

And, if folk in your life can’t love you when you are in scrubs, sweats, shorts, frumpy clothes they are just not the right ones for you.

Kick off those high heels. Put down your bajillion dollar hand bag and go grab a burger at a fast food restaurant or something!

Too hooey with having to have a billion dollar mansion before folk will love you.

And, for the beautiful men and women out there, STOP treating yourselves like trophies! You are NOT! it is NOT your fault God made you beautiful. You are much more, though, tha your outward beauty. STOP allowing folk to parade you around like Barbie and Ken dolls! Yall have much to contribute.

Men, STOP allowing yourselves to be the wallets of the world! Yall are amazing. Yall are deserving to be loved. Give yourself permission to tell a woman to get out of your Porsche if that’s ALL she sees you for! What’s more, you do NOT need to be in a damned Porsche to be valued. There will be plenty of women who will love you for the amazing man that you are. Get to know YOU, beloveds. You have much to share.

Women, good grief, put down the damned Tik Tok and get to know YOU, again. You do NOT have to compete with jillions of Tik Tok folk who are faking it! Stop wasting all your money on stupid organizers and all kinds of junk you are told you need to be happy. Give yourself permission to just be you.

Married folk, STOP listening to a world dumb enough to try and make it a shame for folk to be happily married. Love your husband. Love your wives. Love your kids. Even when everyone is acting like a moron. It’s what families do. We drive one another up ten walls and back.

Christian folk, STOP listening to a world gone crazy who are trying to talk you out of YOUR faith. Keep walking. Give yourself permission to love folk and tell them to kick rocks, without apologies.

Sports starts, STOP listening to dummies who have never picked up a ball or have worked as hard as you have. ENJOY your money. You have earned every dollar. Get your bag!!

Content creators, STOP chasing algorithms! Do YOU! Be YOU! What benefit does it do for you to make a bajillion dollars creating content only for click bait sake?

Young folk, STOP apologizing for being young. Yall are NOT lazy. Yall are NOT entitled. Yall are just smart enough to have recognized the trap us old folk fell into regarding working ourselves to the end of our lives. Give yourself permission to figure out YOU. Give yourself permission to listen to some of us oldies as we have much we can share and teach you. Give yourself permission to pursue excellence. Give yourself permission to learn the value and joy in hard work.

Old folk, STOP working yourselves to death! STOP chasing the ridiculous dream of piling up billions of dollars to make you happy. Look around you! You have ruined many a relationship chasing the dollar bill. Enough already. Put down the plow, pick up some flowers and romance somebody! Give yourself permission to dream. Then, get on up and do.

It’s high time, beloveds, we ALL get some act right and give ourselves permission to start living. Enough of this existing and barely scraping by life tired, exhausted and discouraged.

Okay, I think I have covered everyone. If not, someone else take up the mike and help us all get some act right….lol.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is short. What in the fresh hell are you waiting for?

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

BBQ cookout: Things are NOT what they seem.

Life keeps handing out baskets of nasty, er, 🍋.

I’m tired of it.

Tired of life being so darned lifery.

Craig suggested a BBQ cookout. I agree. Life is just toooooooooooo short to be cowering under the covers because life is being a big meanie.

Be encouraged. Let’s have a laugh and a cookout:

🍇🍉🥭🥩🥓🍔🥪🥘🍲🫕🥗🧂🍤🥧🍦🍡

Remember, you are not responsible for outcomes. You are not responsible for the actions and outcomes of others.

You are NOT to blame when life has turned things upside down and you have no idea which way is up.

I have declared a moratorium on being about being about it. This is a day to rest. Not wait. Just rest. The rest truly WILL come out in the wash.

In the meantime, we eat!

resting I think,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be encouraged. Yes, we sick and tired of hard. But, ALL things shall, will and do work together for our good. Don’t get mad at me for saying that. God said it. I believe it. That settles it.

In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I am not strong: Your five loaves and two fish.

I have been taking inventory.

Things sure seems awful(ly) empty.

Not many pennies in the bank.

Not much energy in the tank.

I find myself empty.

I have been emptied.

By life’s events.

All I have I have given. I tell myself it is enough.

IT is.

It’s MY loaves and fish. Given to God. To break up and make up for all the short falls. For Him to turn into miracles for myself and others. For HIM to multiply. For HIM to do with. As He please.

I have done the work.

I have done MY work.

All we are required to do, beloveds, is try. Do what we can. Where we are. With what we have.

The outcome(s) is not up to us.

Give what you have. Do what you can. Then, move forward. Onto new adventures. As for the outcome. No matter. Whatever. Let it do what it do. We got thangs to do.

I am learning to live in the moment. I love folk and keep it moving. If love is returned, fantastic. If not, God loves me. Plus, I am NOT alone.

Jobless I am. Hopeless I am NOT!

I am:

Moving forward.

Looking up.

Reaching out.

Speaking of reaching out:

How is your heart?

Are you resting?

Are you okay?

What do YOU need?

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be encouraged, beloveds. You do NOT have to be strong. Neither do I. I hear a cup of coffee calling. Craig, I have some tea for you. Who wants to join? Also, I am still waiting for some Texas BBQ….lol.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I am not strong: My file 🗄 cabinet.

I have been unpacking my file cabinet for the past few days.

My internal cabinet.

The ‘”I’ll get to it later” cabinet where I stored ALL the hard things, troubling things, angering things, extra lifery things I did not have time to deal with, at the time.

Now, jobless, I have nothing but time to unpack, peruse and feel🗄:

Anger.🩻

Anger.🩺

And, more anger.🔬

Dammit!!

*Cassandra angrily goes through an especially angering, humiliating and costly memory 🩸 she had to take the ‘high road’ on as that’s what GOOD stewards and Christians did*

Dammit!!

*Cassandra tosses aside visons of this, that and the other of being dismissed, silenced, passed over, glossed over, gaslit, not chosen and the fifty bajillion ways life was just NOT DAMNED FAIR!!!*

Dammit!!!

*Hearing the commotion, God quietly sat next to Cassandra and handed her memories that were simply too heavy, too hard, too embarrassing, too shameful for her to look at, much less bare the weight of*🩹

*Seeing her sad, both Night and Day decided to be with her as she worked her way through her file cabinet. It was needed, you see. Her cabinet had just grown too big to leave this way. She had thangs to do. Her cabinet MUST be emptied in order for her to move forward*🪣

DDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMITTTTTTTTTT!!!

working my way still🧯,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I am not strong. Not today. I have been fighting with myself about giving myself a break from beating myself up over things not done, things left unsaid. I am upset about opportunities not taken. Vacations pushed aside so I could take care of a world that now could give two hoots about me and my jobless, broke life.

I am grateful. Now, I have nothing to hide behind. Now, I have nothing but time to face things I had promised myself I would ‘take care of’ years and years ago. No wonder I have been so soul tired lately. So much garbage and baggage locked away.

Beloveds, we were never meant to walk around with years of regrets, undealt memories and situations.

We were meant to leave them at the Cross. It’s partially what Jesus came to do: Set us free. Be there for us. It’s what The Universe is partially here for: help us to walk this earth in VICTORY. Head held up as we live a life of integrity, truth and love. It’s what God is here partially for: to walk WITH us as we choose how we are going to maneuver through the world.

This is a painful time. Yet, a joyous one. I am living. I am growing. I am healing. I am learning about me. I am learning how to extend the grace God has graciously given me, to my fellow man.

I am being given countless opportunities to choose to stand on faith and NOT fear. Ah, beloveds, I chose fear more than I care to admit. NO more.

Yes, I shall experience fear. I choose, now, to fight back. I shant ever, never, nada, nope, forgetaboutit allow fear to run my choices.

I am using this hard to empty myself of ALL things holding me back. I invite you to do the same. Life is short. Don’t leave your file cabinet sitting for too much longer. Relieve yourself of the weight that has been easily besetting you and run the race set before you. Believers will know of what I speak. As for the rest, do the best you can and keep it moving. Asking for A Friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

No regrets, God said to me.

Me: If only I had done this.

God: Did you?

Me: No. If only I had tried that.

God: Did you?

Me: No. If only I had gone there.

God: Did you?

Me: No.

God: Why then are you wasting your now, lamenting about things not done then? Will doing this change your present?

Me: No.

God: NO regrets, beloved. You have done your best with what you have had. Besides, I have factored even your fear(s) into your equation. You are EXACTLY where you are supposed to be. Be encouraged.

Me: K

I have been fighting and arguing with Reality for the past two days. Since having submitted my letter of resignation. Effective immediately. Fourteen and a half years.

The Universe has been cajoling me to take the leap. God has been asking me to take the leap of faith. Life has been imploring me to take the leap of belief. In Me. In the fact that I CAN. That I WILL. If only I take the chance on me.

So, closing my eyes and opening my heart, I lept.

Where? I have NO idea. It will be interesting to find out.

finding out what’s next,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I am reflective. I was a bit anxious. Until I climbed up onto The Father’s Lap and sat with Him.

I don’t know HOW to rest. I will have to learn. I am trying to give myself a month off before jumping back into the work fray. I find myself fighting to NOT try and obtain work immediately.

Work used to be my identity. Working hard was my everything. If I was not working hard and successfully, I felt as though I was not pulling my weight. I didn’t think I mattered much if I was not doing, going, giving, giving, doing, going. Rinse. Repeat.

Now, I don’t regret doing those things. I love doing so. I have just had to learn there is sooooooooooooooo much more to me than what I have, than what I do, then where I will go or be. I am loved. Period. As are you.

Beloveds, you don’t have to wait for a tornado to blow your entire life down. You can take the time, right now, to make changes. You can take the time, right now, to ask yourself what YOU want to and CHOOSE to do with the rest of your lfe.

Beloveds, the rest of your life is passing, right now, as you read these words. Are you doing what you have longed to? If not, what in the fresh hell are you waiting for?! Let’s go!!! Asking For A Friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Uprooted: Are you sure?😳

God: Are you sure?🥰

The Universe: Are you sure?🤗

Life: Are you sure?🥊👢

Me: Are you sure?!😳

I am:

Sure.

Certain.

Focused.

I have:

Begun.

Again.

I will:

Try.

Succeed.

Fail.

No matter.

What matters:

I am sure.

certain,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I have NO idea what comes next, beloveds. I DO know I am sure. Ah. Aha!

Don’t fear life’s disruptions. Disruptions can lead to awesomely amazing changes. It’s all in how we look at and embrace what happens. What are you DOING with your lemons? I think I shall make some pie with my current crop. In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I am not strong: It’s okay to be Clark Kent.

I am not strong.

Not today.

Not for some time.

I wonder if I shall EVER regain my strength.

I wonder if I shall ever find my feet upon solid footing.

God: You are standing upon My Word. You are standing on faith. You are standing on joy. You are standing on love. You are standing with the fruits of the Spirit. How much safer could you be.

Ah.

Aha!

I am learning to be okay with being Clark Kent. I do NOT have to be Superman all the time. I can just be:

Tired.

Worn.

Uncertain.

Hesitant.

Why?

Because, as the Bible says, when I am weak, THEN He is strong. And, His Strength is made perfect in my weakness. It’s a good thing because I am awfully weak, at the moment.

I have never been allowed to be weak. Society DEMANDS black women to be stoic, strong. We are expected to champion, carry, deliver for the entirety of the world. We are not to have dreams.

Our dreams, we have been told, are to uplift and make true the dreams of everyone in the world. Then, and ONLY then, if there are a few meager scraps, we are able to hoard them and partake ONLY if no one else wants them.

Beloveds, hear me, we were NEVER called to bear the burden of the world. Yes, we serve others. Yet, ONLY out of choice, out of love, out of integrity, out of desire to make things better than where and when we found them.

We were NEVER meant to toss aside our dreams. We were NEVER asked to dismiss our why. We were NEVER supposed to keep our hearts away from love meant to love us.

Ah, beloveds. You are worthy. You are valued. You are cherished. Your life was worth the death of A King. Jesus. Even those who hate Him. Even those who don’t believe He is.

Ah, beloveds, lift up your head. Stop shaming you. Stop allowing others to shame you. They are only projecting THEIR shame onto you.

Ah, beloveds, it’s okay to be Clark Kent. You do NOT have to be Superman. You do NOT have to be strong.

Why?

Because, beloveds, you are loved. And, you are NOT alone.

Be encouraged. If you are weary, rest. If you are ready to move on, move. If you are ready to go, then go.

You got this. God has you. How much safer can you be?

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Beloveds, you are NOT alone. Life can feel awfully lonely. I have never felt soooooooooooooooo lonely in my life. Ever. I have also never felt so loved. Ever. By God.

Folks who I thought were friends, showed themselves not to be friendly. Folk who I thought had my back, turned their backs on me. Folk who I was CERTAIN would show me love, ghosted me instead.

Yet, God has been with me. Here. Now. He has gathered my tears. He has listened to my fears. He has held my dreams when I had tossed them aside. He has reclaimed prayers I had stopped giving Him thinking He had not and would not hear.

Be encouraged. This time is NOT here to break you. It’s here to help you realize you do NOT have to be Superman. Pick up your glasses, Clark Kent, and rest. God got this. Let Him be there for and with you. Asking for A Friend. In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He. Jesus said ‘what’s up?”

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I am not strong: Life kicked me in the hiney.👢

Life: 👢

Me: Ow.

Life: 👢

Me: Ow!

Life: 👢

Me: OW!! 😳😡

Life: 👢

Me: 😭🤬

Life: 👢🥊👢👢🥊🥊👢🤯🤡🥊👢

Day/Night: 🤼‍♀️.  You may want to spend less time wrestling with us, and more time addressing Life kicking your hiney. Not saying, just saying…

Me: K.

Life has been kicking my in the hiney for quite some time. Trying to get my attention. Trying to get me to move. Trying to get me to act in faith. Trying. Trying. Trying.

All the while, beloveds, I have been a trying soul for Life, for God, For The Universe to deal with. I have, had, been getting on my own last nerves.

I have been fighting.

Fighting me.

Fighting with me.

Fighting within me.

The me, with all the dreams, has been fighting with the me who had always been told she never could/would/should have all God, Life and The Universe had been preparing for me since before I was born.

For years, I have been wanting/needing to move forward. Onward. Somewhere!

Yet, I kept repeating lines others have whispered to me for the whole of my life:

“You never will”

“You never can”

“You are not enough”

“You don’t have”

“You won’t ever have”

“You can’t do THAT”

“You will never make it through THIS”

It’s not even that I believed them. It just seemed easier, somehow, to listen to them. Which led me to stop believing. In me. I stopped fighting. For me.

God knew this. Which is why He and The Universe kept sending Life to kick my hiney until I began to fight back.

For me.

With me.

Within me.

Now, beloveds, I fight with all that is within me. Bless His Holy Name.

Ah, God. Thank You for helping me to fight back.

Oh, Universe. Thank You for convincing me I could/can/shall/will.

Ow, Life. Thanks. Geeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

grateful for lessons learned,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is short, beloveds. Best get to living it. It’s time to stop allowing yourselves to be ruled by fear instilled by others. By fears fueled by you. By fear coming from not knowing what comes next.

Ah, beloveds. You CAN. You WILL! The ONLY way to find out is to actually get out there and find out. I have. More about that in upcoming posts. Let’s go!!!! Asking for A Friend. In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Stop judging you by your outcomes.

I’m resting.

I have no choice. My get up and go has long since got up and went where I know not.

This has been a trying time. Trying to rest my mind. Trying to NOT worry. Trying to stay positive.

Trying.

Trying.

Trying.

Ack and heckamiah! Trying sure can be trying!🤯😳

What’s worse, I’m not getting anywhere. In fact, I am moving backwards financially. Fresh hell.

I look at my little pile that is down to almost nothing and try not to judge my lack. I try not to judge ME.

I try not to judge me for not having healed years sooner so I could have gotten farther in the dream fulfillment category.

That said, beloveds, I have gained soooooooooooo much knowledge from EVERY loss.

I tell God it would be nice to get in the winning column soon. Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.

Until I do, I will continue to try and will leave the outcome to Those above my pay grade!

I am DONE beating myself up for not being where folks have told me I should be by now. I am where I am. Period. Nuff said. End of story.

This is NOT the end of my story. It’s just a new chapter. A tough chapter to read. An even tougher one to write. Ack. Eww. Ow!

I am grateful for the hard. Every hard is just another opportunity to exercise my faith. Each loss is just another chance to tell fear Ha! and that I STILL believe God. Every disappointment is but another door to dance victoriously through.

Ah, God. Thank You for being with me as I learn that Your Grace truly IS sufficient for all that I shall and am going through. Oh, Universe, I appreciate You for allowing me to fall on my face so I can and have learned to lose joyfully and graciously. Ow, Life. Just ow…

Beloveds, think it not strange, as the Bible say, of the trials you are going through. You SHALL come out and forth as gold!

Keep going.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Stop judging yourselves by your outcome or lack thereof. Asking for A Friend. You got this. God has us all. In case no one has told you today: I love you. Be encouraged.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Blessed.

I am blessed.

I am here.

I am grounded.

I am satisfied.

I am content with what I have.

I am more than enough.

I am undefeated.

I am indefatigable.

I am many things.

I am blessed.

I am grateful for all that I have.

I am unmoved.

I am unfazed.

I am.

And, in being, I shall let my try speak for me.

being me,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Sometimes, beloveds, we need to declare who and what we are. When someone ask you what you do, show them who you are! Be encouraged. You CAN. You WILL!

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!