Month: July 2024

Real talk: What do you do when ‘it is what it is’ really is?!😳

😳

💔

❤️‍🩹

❤️

The state of my heart this week. Feels like living in a nightmare with no end date.

I told hard, this morning, GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZ! What in the FRESH HELL are you DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!?

Hard just told me to kick rocks and keep it moving. Told me to get on Life’s case as hard was just doing as directed by The Universe and God approved EVERY hard task/thing/hit/circumstance/situation.

GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ, God. What in the heckemiah Jericho is THIS fiasco called my current state of being!?

God just laughed and told me to keep on collecting diamonds, in my shoes, as I trudge my way up Joy Mountain. He told me to take some extra laughs with me, this week.

Ah, God. K.

Sooooooooooooooooooo, I have decided to spread a bit of foolishnessery, er, joy, your way.

It’s hard to pretend things are NOT hard when nothing works. It’s difficult to make lemonade when the lemons have been sooooooooooooooo bitter. It’s tough dancing in the rain when the rain is pelting, the lightning is frightening and EVERY bush/tree looks as if it is a menacing creature ready to pounce and steal the soul.

No one has told us that you can catch a cold whilst dancing in the euphemistic rain folk are forever talking about dancing in when all of holy hell has rained down upon one’s head.

“It is what it is”.

I have said this dumb sentence a bajillion times. I say it still. Still, it seems to have taken on a life of it’s own.

I can’t work until the internet is fixed appropriately.

“It is what it is”.

I don’t have enough to cover things.

“It is what it is”.

I am alone.

“It is what it is”.

I am lonely.

“It is what it is”.

I miss mom.

“It is what it is”.

I miss dad.

“It is what it is”.

I’m trying not to be afraid.

“It is what it is”.

I’m 55 and sole money maker who is NOT making money.

“It is what it is”.

It’s hot.

“It is what it is”.

I’m tired.

“It is what it is”.

I don’t feel like writing.

“It is what it is”.

I don’t feel like getting out of bed to keep doing this hard every damned hard day dammit!!

“It is what it is”.

Ah, God.

Okay.

I give up.

I quit.

I shall STOP whining and get back to being about being about it.

Fresh hell!

Heckamiah Jeremiah Cream Pie-a!

What do you do when ‘it is what it is’ really is?!😳

asking for a friend(me),

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep going, beloveds. Keep going. Things WILL be okay. They will. In the meantime, it’s okay to not be okay until you are okay. I sure hope you are okay. In case no one has told you today: I love you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Real talk: Are you ready for your life to change?

I have heard a million times to ‘be careful what you wish for.’

What a depressing thought. That we should be ‘careful’ when asking for hopes and dreams to come true.

Ha!

Yes, hard things WILL happen as we happen to life. Yet, life changes. Life ALWAYS changes. How the heck else can/will things grow if it did not?

Your life will change many, many, many times before it’s over. Don’t be afraid of it changing, beloved.

Enjoy EVERY step of your journey.

I am doing my utmost to enjoy mine.

The Olympics are coming soon. I have been enjoying all the athletes who have been fighting to make the Olympic Teams. It has been joyous for the ones who have made it. Devastating for the ones who have come up short.

We just don’t know if we will make the team(s) we try out for in life. The more I grow, the older I grow, the more I realize it’s not about the trophy. Now, I no longer care what spot I have. I just want to be a part.

And, if I don’t make the team, I will be the loudest one cheering on others as they pursue THEIR hopes and dreams.

The unknown can be daunting because we don’t know what’s up ahead. I’m doing my level best not to give two hoots about what’s up there. I shall find out when I find out.

In the meantime, I shall enjoy my spot. Here. Now. Fighting to make the team.

Ah, God. I’m trying. Root for me.

asking for a friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Are you ready for your life to change? Ready. Set. Let’s go!!!!

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

You are.

You are.

Making an impact.

You are.

Changing lives.

You are.

Making a difference.

You are.

Changing your circumstances.

You are.

Making waves.

You are.

Changing perceptions.

You are.

Making up for lost time.

You are.

Changing things.

Keep on being…YOU.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: There are days when I look at what I think I have accomplished and think I have accomplished nothing at all.

On those days, like today, God reminds me just to try. I can’t always see the big picture. Neither can you, beloveds. The fact you are giving and doing all you know IS enough. As are you. You are. So am I.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

ARE you ready for your life to change, Life said to me.

Me: I’m ready for my life to change!

Life: ARE you? REALLY?

God: Are you, really?

The Universe: Really? YOU? Are READY?

Me: I  am.

Life: K. 🌪🚨❗️🥊

God: K. 🔥🫸🌪❤️‍🩹🔋🌎🥺😥

The Universe: K. 🥊🥊🥊❤️‍🩹🌪🔥😲🥊🥊🥊🤯😡😠😳😩🎤

Me: I wasn’t ready for my life to change. Not like this. I am wanting my boring when is my life going to change life back.

SSSSHHHHHHHOOOOTTTTTT!

Ah, God. What do I do with me now?

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Are you ready for your life to change?

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Recovery: Ready. Or not.

Life: Ready? Or not?

Me: I’m not ready.

Life: Not ready for what?

Me: Not ready for You, Life.

Life: Why not?

Me: I don’t understand You, right now. I don’t know if I have ever understood You, Life.

Life: I  need for you to get ready anyway.

Me: Get ready for what?

Life: Me.

Me: K.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life changes. Whether we are ready or not. Be sure to stock up on plenty of hope. Store away tons of laughter. Be sure to save up some tears. Go on ahead and scoop up a bit of frustration to sprinkle on top of all the hard that WILL come. Mostly, be certain to drag truckloads of joy and smear it liberally every which way!

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Honest(y).

It’s time.

Time for me to be honest.

With me.

With Him.

With you.

Yesterday, I questioned everything. Everything!

My faith.

My faith in me.

My faith in Him.

My faith in my dreams.

The 🌪 has destroyed what little financial room I had. I can’t move. I can’t breathe. I don’t know HOW to make up all the finances I have lost.

Today, I was honest. I just could NOT do the day. So, I didn’t. I gave myself the day to let my heart do what it needed to do. As for me? I slept. I ate chicken strips. Rinse. Repeat. ALL day. Wonderful.

What shall I DO tomorrow?

I wish I knew.

The only thing I DO know is I am going to be honest.

With me.

With God.

With you.

It sure can be hard to be honest with oneself. It’s super easy to lie to ourselves. I am doing my best not to do so. I owe myself the truth. I owe God the truth. I owe you the truth, beloveds.

I normally don’t look at numbers. The past couple of days I have peeked and saw a view here, two views there. I became discouraged.

Then, I became delighted. I was happy in the knowledge one or two or a few wandered by so I could let them know how very much they are loved and not alone. I tell you the same.

I hear a cup of coffee calling. Who is coming? Don’t forget the snacks!

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be honest with you, beloveds. Be honest. If life is being a bit suckery right now it’s okay to say so. Life is sucking a big lemon for me at the moment. Ah, God. What the world are you doing? Hurry up and…just hurry. Asking for my friends.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

If you want to get there in a hurry, take your time.

Time.

*sigh*

Accomplishing things takes time.

And, more time.

And, more time.

And…

You get the point.

The older I grow, the faster I learn that I need to slow down!😳

Take your time, Cassandra!

Do it right the FIRST time, Cassandra!

Why are you in such a hurry for anyway, Cassandra?!

I have been in a big fat hurry to get to nowhere.

Annoying.

Maddening.

Frustrating!

The Fourth of July is coming. It’s supposed to celebrate independence.

I don’t feel independent.

I feel:

Stuck.

Ack.

Memorial Weekend brought a weekend I will never forget and was awfully memorable in a terribly horrible way. It’s hard to celebrate now. I am going to celebrate being alive.

I am going to do my best, I hope, I think, I’ll try, to take my time and allow life to unfold as it will.

I am learning how not to hurry. Change takes time. Lots of it.

As I hurry, towards my future, I take my time to enjoy the scenery.

Wait.

Patiently.

Take your time.

You will get there.

Or, you won’t get there but will have learned some fantastic lessons along the way. Or, you will have found new adventures!

Be encouraged. Rest. Take your time. Rinse. Repeat.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: If someone else tells me how short life is I may scream. What do you mean I am the one forever saying this? This is true. Still, enjoy the bits of it that we have shall we? In case no one has told you this today: I love you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Real talk: Trying 😳

I’m trying, beloveds.

Trying to remain joyful.

Trying to remain hopeful.

Trying not to want to kick the entirety of the world to the curb.

I’m angry with God.

I’m angry with me.

I told my twin earlier that ‘who am I’ that the world would CARE?

Sure enough, folk have reached out to me to express their ‘admiration’ for my ask and promptly expressed their helpful intentions to part me from money I don’t have so they can help me with my campaign.

😳

I’m not angry. Just sad at a world that takes advantage of folk who are hurting.

Be encouraged, beloveds. Keep reaching out. Yes, you shall have to weed out all the scammers who shall reach for your pocket and not your heart.

Still, you shall meet many priceless treasures, such as I have found in you, who will bless you beyond measure.

I made myself make my page so I can teach myself how to reach out for ME. The very fact I have done so is a win. For ME.

I have loved me by asking.

I have chosen me by asking.

I have supported me by asking.

All priceless.

To me.

Keep loving and fighting for YOU, beloveds.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Nuff said. In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Trying. 😳

My internet provider texted me a bit ago:

UPDATE: We’re sorry this complex network issue is taking longer than expected to resolve. Rest assured, a dedicated team is actively working to restore consistent service. We apologize again for the inconvenience and will continue to provide daily text updates.

I have been hearing this for almost a month now. Instead of diving over the railing, I creates a new GoFundMe:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/stand-with-cassandra-tornado-recovery-fund?utm_source=copy_link&utm_medium=customer&utm_campaign=man_sharesheet_ft&attribution_id=sl:e0951982-d0c9-4781-a455-42e63ec6b8b1

I must admit, I am having a tougher time scraping joy from all this.

Be encouraged. This I tell myself today.

Beloveds, I am going to spill and let you know I fear no one will care, and the world will tell me to kick rocks. Or, ignore my ask. Again.

I think I will go find a cup of ☕ coffee. Perhaps, I have poured out enough love in the world to have woken up The Universe for me today.

I asked God this morning not to let my heart get 💔 broken. Again.

If so, I will remain hopeful.

Ah, God. Where ARE You?

asking for a friend(me),

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Do it for you.

The last few days, I have been…

Questioning?

Wondering?

Asking?

I have been studying and pondering what I want to contribute to the cyber world.

Do I want/need to create a YouTube channel?

Do I want/need to…

I DO want to encourage.

I DO want to exhort.

I DO want to kick folk in the hind end to stop that already!

For me.

For folk.

For…*shrug*.

I look at all these content creators who are hiding behind smiles and cute/clean studios and want to shake them.

Stop that!

Be you!!!

You do NOT have to perform like a seal to be loved!

Ack!

This blog is small. I wish I had a million folk. Why? Because that’s a million folk who would daily hear they are loved and not alone.

All I can do is to be me.

That’s it.

That’s all.

Be me and do it for me.

Be me and do it for me as I do it for Him.

Be me and do it for me as I do it for you.

Life is short.

Get out there and live the life you have been wanting to live. Tell fear to shut it and take two seats. If fear won’t shut up, take fear along with you until it gets bored and takes doubt and fatigue with it!

Get after it.

Do you.

doing me with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Okaaaaaaay, you are supposed to be out there being you for me, remember?

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!