Everything.

Me: 😥

God: What troubles you?

Me: I have nothing. Nothing to give. Nothing of import.

God: What do you give?

Me: Everything.

God: Why is this not enough?

Me: I have nothing to SHOW for my life. All I have is the love in my heart. What does THAT mean?

God: Everything.

Me: To whom?

God: Me.

Me: Now, THAT means everything. To me.

God: As do you. Be encouraged.

Me: K.

I have felt like a whole lot of nothing, lately. Empty of bank account. Empty of fortitude. Empty of peace of mind for long.

Every moment of every day has been hard, since the damned tornado came and tore a whole in what used to be my life.

I have to take out the trash. I get the ‘fun’ job of walking to the dumpster whilst pretending not to see the devastation all around me.

Then, I get to check the mail and gather bills I have no idea how they are going to be paid.

Then, I get to check grocery supplies knowing there is no more money for another delivery.

Then, I get to play the wonderous game of cringing EVERY time I have to turn on the air conditioner under another heat advisory that will NOT end.

Then, I must scrounge around, in my tired heart, to find encouragement for myself and others who are awfully tired of having to be about being about things in a world turned upside down by loss or hard/tough things/days.

Ah, beloveds. Be encouraged. This too shall pass. All things do.

Currently, I am listening to ‘It Is Well’. I wonder when it will be well. For me. For you. For all who are struggling with the lemons life keeps depositing every which way.

Yet, I am here. As are you. Soon, I shall be sipping on a cup of coffee, yakking at God and partaking in some Olympics.

Life is going to life. So, beloveds, must you. So, must I.

Don’t wait for a tornado or a disaster to happen to examine, take stock and take ACTION.

I have been needing to take action, workwise, for years. Years! I have had fam fuss at me. Friends fuss at me. God fuss at me. The Universe holler at me.

Finally, Life had to drop kick me in the face to get me to MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE, Cassandra!

I could no longer ignore my fatigue, my dissatisfaction, my dreams and HAD to choose my mental health over a meager work check.

Yea, beloveds, I KNEW I have not been making enough. I was making ‘just enough’ to scrape by. ‘Just enough’ to help fam/friends as they needed. ‘Just enough’ to save a few dollars. ‘Just enough’ to need those few saved dollars for eventual expensive disasters forever popping up.

My ‘just enough’ was keeping me for reaching out and trying for ‘more than enough’, ‘more than plenty’ and all the other things God has been gently asking me to try for.

Dammit.

I am angry, beloveds. At ME. I gave everything. To everyone. But me. Now, I am:

Broke.

Busted.

Disgusted.

Tired.

Yet, I am also:

Joyful.

Hopeful.

Satisfied.

I have given everything. All I have. That IS enough. For God. For me. Hopefully, for you. If not, that’s a YOU problem.

Be not discouraged, beloveds, when it seems like you have given everything and have been left with nothing.

Your everything really has meant everything to more than you know. Your everything HAS been appreciated. God appreciates it. The Universe honors it. Life needed it. Still does.

Keep on being you. Even when being you seems to have brought you to a what in the fresh hell portion of life, just now.

Lift up your head. Look not at what appears empty just now. You shall be filled. As shall I. We just don’t know when…*sigh*.

When, God?

asking for many friends,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep moving forward. You CAN. You WILL. IN case no one has told you: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

• THE HAND FROM HEAVEN ✋🏾☁️🧻🤣
• COME SIT AT MY TABLE 🪑❤️‍🩹
• BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
• Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
• Still In Love