Give yourself permission.
Permission to heal.
Permission to care.
Permission to FEEL.
Too often, beloveds, we do not give ourselves near enough grace. We force ourselves to work well past the cut off point. We make ourselves give until we are empty. Then, we give what we don’t have. Then, we shut off our feels to the point our hearts are hurting, exhausted and weary.
Yet, we refuse to give ourselves permission to feel, to rest, to experience and to grow.
I have been angry with myself, stupidly so, for being so shaken following the tornado. Only someone who has literally had a tornado outside their door/home will even understand what I am saying here. I am thankful most have not and pray they never will.
There is something that happens to the mind, at least to MY mind, knowing I was literally a breath away from death. I am not afraid to die. That said, when a tornado comes calling, all bets are off on the ‘I’m not afraid’ thing.
I have been trying to get my comfort back, ever since. There are days when I think I have found it. Other days, I cower beneath uncertainty. I hover next to unexpected doom/dread. I tell doom/dread to go away. They leave. They return. Rinse. Repeat.
I just stopped by, beloveds, to let someone know it really IS okay to not be okay until one is okay again. I will be okay. Soon? I don’t know. Maybe if my not being okay had not cost me my job, I would be faring better. Now, I have to fight to regain my footing, whilst trying to find another gig. The most frightening time ever.
Still, this time has been no surprise for The Universe. I WILL make it through. I just have to go through this time. One step at a time. One day at a time. Often, one second at a time.
In the meantime, I am drinking lots of coffee. I am writing. I am singing badly…*shrug*. I am doing chores. Sorta. I am trying to be kinder to me and my slow getting it together self.
This has been a beautiful time, though. I have nursed the night, until it turned back into day. I have chased the dawn until it turned into tomorrow.
I have found new parts of me. I have tossed out old parts. God has given them back…hahahaha!!
I have laughed a bit. I have cried a ton.
I have lived. I AM living. Now. Here. I’m not waiting for this or that to live. I am doing my level best to enjoy my day(s). There is a gift in those things, eh? I think so.
Right now I have mood lights blinking in agreement. I have a nice cup of coffee waiting for me to finish this piece. I spent a delish few hours commiserating with my wombie.
When I finish, I think I shall gather The Father from the curb I kicked Him to, yesterday. Yea, beloveds, I told God I was DONE praying and asking for things I have been asking for every day for the past five hundred fifty million bajillon seventeen days to NO result…lol. I sowwy, Father.
Be encouraged, beloved. Give yourself permission would you please and thanks?
asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Cut yourself some slack. Remember, you are doing the best you know how. you will get to where you need to go. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with your circumstances. In the meantime, do the best you can to enjoy your day.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
- REAL TALK: DESPISE NOT SMALL BEGINNINGS, BELOVEDS.👘🦺🥾👟🥿👞🩴👢🩰👡⛑️🔌🕯️🔎🖌️🖋️📢
- IT ME!
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 