HOW to Get Past the Battle Between Your Pride & Your Integrity
Beloveds,
Okay…we talked about being wrong and actually admitting it.
But let’s get REAL.
Because sometimes the problem isn’t that we don’t KNOW we’re wrong.
WE KNOW.
Oh, we KNOW.
You replay the conversation in your head…
You know what you said.
You know what you did.
You know how you handled it.
And somewhere deep down inside, there’s a little voice saying:
“Yeah…you probably shouldn’t have done that.”
And your pride says:
“SHHHHHHHHHH!”
Ohhhhh, the struggle!
Because now you’ve got a battle going on inside:
❤️ Integrity: “Go apologize.”
Pride: “Absolutely NOT.”
❤️ Integrity: “You were wrong.”
Pride: “They were wrong too!”
❤️ Integrity: “That doesn’t change YOUR part.”
Pride: “But they need to apologize first!”
COME ON!
Have you ever been there?!
Because I have.
And let me tell you something:
Knowing you’re wrong and being willing to admit you’re wrong are two different skills.
That’s why we’re learning the HOW.
❤️ HOW DO YOU GET YOURSELF TO ADMIT YOU’RE WRONG?
1️⃣ STOP TRYING TO WIN.
Sometimes we aren’t trying to solve the problem.
We’re trying to win the argument.
And baby…
You can WIN the argument and LOSE the relationship.
You can prove your point…
and still hurt somebody.
You can have facts…
and still lack compassion.
You can be technically correct…
and still handle the situation completely wrong.
So ask yourself:
“Am I trying to make this right—or am I trying to make myself right?”
WHEW.
That’s a question worth sitting with.
2️⃣ OWN YOUR PART WITHOUT WAITING FOR THEM TO OWN THEIRS.
This one is HARD.
Because our pride loves keeping score.
“Well, THEY did this!”
Maybe they did.
But their behavior belongs to them.
Your behavior belongs to YOU.
You don’t have to wait for somebody else to become accountable before you become accountable.
That’s maturity.
❤️
3️⃣ DON’T MAKE YOUR APOLOGY A NEGOTIATION.
An apology isn’t:
“I’ll apologize if you apologize.”
That’s not an apology.
That’s a hostage negotiation.
You apologize because you have something to apologize for.
Whether they apologize back is between them and their conscience.
4️⃣ LEARN TO SAY THESE THREE WORDS:
“I was wrong.”
That’s it.
No dissertation.
No 47-page defense brief.
No historical timeline beginning in 1987.
Just:
“I was wrong.”
And then…
“I’m sorry.”
That’s powerful.
5️⃣ DON’T CONFUSE SHAME WITH ACCOUNTABILITY.
This is important.
Admitting:
“I did something wrong”
does NOT mean:
“I am a horrible person.”
Those are two different things.
Healthy accountability says:
“I made a mistake, and I can learn from it.”
Shame says:
“I made a mistake, therefore I AM the mistake.”
Nope.
We don’t have to destroy ourselves to take responsibility.❤️
We can own it.
Repair it.
Learn from it.
And grow.
AND SOMETIMES…
The apology you need to make isn’t even the hardest part.
The hardest part is changing the behavior afterward.
Because anybody can say:
“I’m sorry.”
But what happens the NEXT time you’re angry?
What happens the NEXT time you feel disrespected?
What happens the NEXT time your pride gets poked?
That’s where we’re going to learn something important:
An apology is not the finish line.
It’s the beginning of accountability.❤️
Because I don’t want us to become people who are really good at saying:
“Sorry.”
I want us to become people who are learning:
HOW to recognize our patterns.
HOW to regulate ourselves.
HOW to communicate when we’re hurt.
HOW to listen without preparing our defense.
HOW to disagree without destroying each other.
HOW to repair what we’ve damaged.
HOW to forgive without pretending nothing happened.
HOW to love people while still holding healthy boundaries.
THAT’S the work.
And we’re going to do it together. ❤️
YOUR HOMEWORK:
The next time you KNOW you were wrong but your pride says:
“Don’t you dare apologize!”
Don’t immediately react.
Stop.
Breathe.
Ask yourself:
“What would integrity ask me to do right now?”
Then listen.
Not to your pride.
Not to your fear.
Not to your need to win.
Listen to what is true.
And if you’re wrong?
Baby…
BE WRONG WELL. ❤️
Admit it.
Apologize.
Make it right where you can.
Change what needs changing.
And keep growing.
Because we’re not chasing perfection over here.
We’re practicing love.
And love isn’t just something we FEEL.
We’re learning the HOW. ❤️
───
❤️ COME WALK THIS PATH WITH ME
If you’re tired of inspirational words that tell you WHAT to do but never teach you HOW to actually do it…
FOLLOW ALONG. ❤️
Because that’s what we’re going to be doing here.
We’re going to talk about the uncomfortable stuff.
The pride.
The fear.
The anger.
The hurt.
The forgiveness.
The boundaries.
The communication.
The mistakes.
The repair.
The REAL LIFE stuff.
And we’re going to learn HOW to love better—not just talk about love better. ❤️
COMING UP: We’re going to talk about HOW to apologize without making excuses…
Because, Lord have mercy…
“I’m sorry, BUT…”
is sometimes where a perfectly good apology goes to DIE.
We’re going there.
And we’re going to learn HOW to listen when somebody tells us we’ve hurt them—without immediately becoming defensive.
Yep.
We’re going there too. ❤️
So…
Follow me.
Come learn with me.
Come laugh with me.
Come grow with me.
And when you realize you’re a knucklehead sometimes…
WELCOME TO THE CLUB. ❤️
Asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe ❤️
NOTE: You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love.
You just have to be willing to be honest, own what belongs to you, learn from your mistakes, and keep growing.
One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU! ❤️
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 