Beloveds, this for the men out there. Ladies, let’s love our fellow men and transgender/gay men. I love and so does He!💞👋
Cassandra
Shame on ALL wh won’t love his/her/their neighbors. Jesus is sad today. Our men count and WORTHY to be seen, to be loved.I got you brothers…
Have been listening to this 🎵 on repeat. Beautiful. 💔💔🤕
No pretending. I would pay legit money for a hug from someone who loves me. Having a ministry of loving a world that 🌎 won’t love me back hurts. Especially today.
Cassandra
August 14, 2026 💔😭 GOD, WHAT DO I DO WITH MY BROKEN HEART?
For Me—and Everybody Else Who Is Crying
Today 🫂💞 Beloveds, today I need comfort.
Not a lecture. Not somebody telling me how strong I am.
Not somebody rushing me toward the bright side.
Comfort. 🫂💔
Because today… I am devastated. 😭😭😭
And before somebody mistakes my tears for surrender, let me make something very clear:
I AM NOT DISCOURAGED.
I have not quit. I have not stopped believing. I have not decided my life has no purpose.
I have not stopped trusting God.
My heart just hurts. Badly. 💔😢
And maybe somebody reading this needs permission to understand the difference.
You can have hope… and hurt.
You can trust God… and cry.
You can know you’re going to keep going… and wish with everything inside you that you didn’t have to go through this.
You can be grateful for your life… and grieve what has changed in it.
You can say, “God is good.” and then put your face in your hands and sob. 😭🙏🏽 Those things can live in the same heart.
I know because today… they are living in mine. 💔❤️🩹 — 😭
GOD…I MISS ME.
There. I said it. Sometimes grief isn’t only about losing somebody else. Sometimes you grieve yourself. The person you remember. The things you used to do without thinking about them.
The ordinary pieces of life you never imagined you would one day miss.
And some days the difference between then and now hits harder than others.
Today is one of those days for me. 💔🧠😭
My symptoms are really bad today. And sometimes when things are especially difficult, grief comes knocking again.
Not necessarily because I’ve lost hope. Sometimes because I remember. I remember ME.
And there are pieces of that woman I miss so terribly that I don’t have prettier words for it.
I just… miss her. 😭😭😭
And God, if I’m going to walk this road, I need You to help me understand something:
What do I do with all this LOVE I have for the life I remember? What do I do with the memories? What do I do with the frustration? What do I do when my heart screams: “I WANT IT BACK!”
💔😭🙏🏽 — 🫂
MAYBE I DON’T HAVE TO “DO” ANYTHING WITH IT TODAY.
Maybe that is part of the lesson. Maybe every painful emotion doesn’t immediately require an assignment.
Maybe sometimes grief needs permission to simply be grief.
Today I hurt. Period. No explanation required. No apology required. No inspirational ending required.
I can sit before God and say: “Father, Your daughter is hurting today.” 🙏🏽😭 That’s enough.
And if you don’t believe as I do, perhaps your words are simply:
“Today hurts.” That’s enough too. You don’t owe anybody a performance of strength. 🫂💞 —
🙏🏽 GOD, PLEASE SIT WITH ME HERE. I don’t need You only in my victories. I need You here. In this.
In the tears. In the questions. In the memories. In the frustration. In the moments when I am tired of having to be courageous.
In the moments when I don’t want another lesson. In the moments when I don’t want my pain turned into purpose yet.
Sometimes, God… I just want my heart held. 💔🙏🏽🫂
Your Word says: “The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart…” — Psalm 34:18 KJV
Then please… come near.
Not tomorrow when I’m feeling inspirational again. Not after I’ve dried my tears. Not after I’ve figured out what I’m supposed to learn. NOW.
Come sit with the crying woman. 😭🙏🏽 — 💔
AND TO SOMEBODY CRYING WITH ME TODAY… Come sit over here. 🫂
You don’t have to explain everything. You don’t even have to talk. I won’t tell you to cheer up. I won’t tell you everything happens for a reason.
I won’t tell you somebody else has it worse. I won’t tell you that you should be grateful because at least you still have ______.
No. Your heartbreak gets to be your heartbreak. 😭💔
Maybe somebody died. Maybe somebody left. Maybe your health changed. Maybe your family changed. Maybe a dream died.
Maybe you received news that knocked the wind out of you.
Maybe you’re grieving a version of yourself you desperately want back. Maybe you don’t even know WHY you’re crying.
You’re just tired. Come anyway. 🫂💞 There is room beside me. — 😭
CRY. Yes. CRY. I mean the ugly one too. The runny-nose, swollen-eyes, can’t-get-the-sentence-out kind. 😭😭😭😩🫠 Cry if you need to.
Because tears aren’t always saying: “I give up.” Sometimes tears are saying: “This mattered.” “I loved deeply.” “I wanted something different.” “I’m disappointed.” “I’m exhausted.” “I miss what was.” “I need somebody to hold me.”
And sometimes… tears don’t say anything at all. They just fall. Let them. 💧💧💧 — ❤️🩹
THEN LOVE THE PERSON WHO IS CRYING.
That person is YOU. This is where the HOW of love matters. We talk so much about loving everybody else.
But what does love look like when the person falling apart is staring back at us in the mirror? Maybe love says:
“You don’t have to accomplish anything impressive today.” Maybe love says: “Rest.” Maybe love says: “Eat something.”
Maybe love says: “Call somebody safe.”
Maybe love says: “Turn the music on.” 🎶
Maybe love says: “Pray.” 🙏🏽
Maybe love says: “Laugh if something ridiculous happens—even while you’re crying.” 😂😭
And maybe love simply whispers: “I am staying with you through this.” ❤️🩹 — 🙏🏽
MY PRAYER FROM A BROKEN HEART:
God, I don’t have a polished prayer today. My heart hurts. You already know why. You know every thought I haven’t found words for. You know what I miss.
You know what I’m afraid to lose. You know what I wish were different. You know the parts of this journey I would NEVER have chosen. 😭🙏🏽
So I’m bringing You exactly what I have. A broken heart. Take it. Hold it.
Please don’t let pain make me bitter. Don’t let grief steal my capacity to love. Don’t let what I have lost make me unable to see what remains.
And when I cannot understand what You are doing… help me trust Your heart. 💔🙏🏽❤️🩹
And Father… if this truly is being asked of me… then You already know what I’m going to say. 😭💪🏽 I CAN.
Not because it is easy. I WILL.
Not because I wanted this. I MUST.
Because there is still purpose inside this beating heart. 🙏🏽❤️🩹
But God… please hold me while I do it. Amen. —
💞 FOR THOSE WHO PRAY DIFFERENTLY—or DON’T PRAY AT ALL…
May you give yourself permission today to be human. May you stop measuring your strength by how rarely you cry.
May you recognize that grief and hope can occupy the same body. May you treat yourself gently while your heart is hurting.
And may somebody remind you: You do not have to solve your whole life today.
Just stay with today. 🫂💞 — 🌱
TODAY’S LOVE CHALLENGE :
Find somebody—including yourself—who needs comfort. And resist the urge to FIX them. Sit. Listen. Hold a hand.
Send a message. Let them cry. Say: “You don’t have to be okay with me.” That’s love too. 💞🫂 — 🏆 TODAY’S VICTORY
Maybe today’s victory isn’t getting back up immediately. Maybe today’s victory is finally admitting: “This broke my heart.” 💔
And discovering that after saying it… your heart is still beating. ❤️🩹 Mine is. It hurts like crazy today. But it’s beating.
And apparently it still has enough life left in it to love somebody else who is crying.
So if you’re crying today… you can borrow some of mine. 💞 I’ll sit with you. You sit with me. We don’t have to pretend. We don’t have to hurry.
And when we’re ready… not when somebody else decides we should be ready… we’ll take another step. 👣 Then another. 👣 And another. 👣 Crying if necessary. Laughing when we can. 😂😭💞
Praying when we have words. 🙏🏽 Sitting quietly when we don’t. 🫂 And believing that a broken heart can still hold an astonishing amount of love.
💔❤️🩹💞 Asking for A Friend,
Cassandra #YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU! 💔❤️🩹🙏🏽🫂💞
And God? I’m still here. I’m crying. I’m hurting. I’m heartbroken. But I’m still here. If this is being asked of me… I CAN. I WILL. I MUST. Just… hold my hand while I do it. 😭🙏🏽🤝🏽❤️🩹
Beloveds,
Somebody needs this today. I know I did. Be encouraged. You are loved and appreciated and not alone. 💞😍👋💋😊😅
Cassandra
OOPS!!!
Evening, beloveds.
I finally fell asleep and woke up because I had to go to the bathroom.
I looked around.
It was LIGHT outside.
My sleepy brain said:
“Well, now, …IT’S TUESDAY MORNING!”
I was ready to start my Tuesday.
Only one problem…
IT WAS STILL MONDAY!!!
OOPS! ♀️
And you know what?
I LAUGHED.🤣😬😵💫🥰
Because what else was I going to do?
But that little moment got me thinking…
How many times do we make an OOPS in life and immediately turn it into a court case against ourselves?
“I should’ve known better.”
“How could I be so stupid?”
“I always mess things up.”
“Why can’t I get anything right?”
“I should be further along by now.”
STOP.
Your mistake may need correcting.
Your behavior may need accountability.
Your decision may need changing.
But YOU do not need to become your own worst enemy because you made an OOPS.
There is a difference between accountability and self-condemnation.
Accountability says:
“I messed up. Let me figure out what happened.”
Self-condemnation says:
“I messed up. Therefore, something is wrong with ME.”
NOPE.
We are human.
We misunderstand things.
We get tired.
We misread situations.
We make assumptions.
We forget.
We react emotionally.
Sometimes our brains are operating on about 3% battery and still trying to run 47 applications at once.
OOPS HAPPENS!
The question isn’t:
“How could I be so stupid?”
The better question is:
“What can this OOPS teach me?”
Maybe the lesson is patience.
Maybe it’s slowing down.
Maybe it’s listening.
Maybe it’s asking for help.
Maybe it’s admitting, “Yep…that one was on me.”
Maybe it’s simply learning to laugh and say:
“Well, Cassandra…that wasn’t your finest moment. Now let’s keep moving.”
THAT is growth.
And please hear me:
Laughing at yourself does NOT mean minimizing what happened.
It means you refuse to let shame have the final word.
You can apologize and laugh.
You can correct yourself and laugh.
You can learn and laugh.
You can take responsibility and still give yourself grace.
Because grace doesn’t mean we never make mistakes.
Grace means our mistakes don’t get to become our identity. ❤️
And sometimes, beloveds, we need to stop taking ourselves so seriously.
Not because life isn’t serious.
But because sometimes laughter is the little bit of oxygen our souls need.
❤️
So today, I’m giving myself permission to say:
OOPS!
Not:
“I’m terrible.”
Not:
“I can’t do anything right.”
Not:
“I should have known better.”
Just…
OOPS.
Learn.
Adjust.
Laugh.
Keep moving.
And try again.
Because I don’t want to live a life where I’m so afraid of making mistakes that I forget how to LIVE.
And neither should you.
❤️
YOUR TURN:
What’s one OOPS you’ve made that you can finally laugh about today?
Tell us.
Let’s normalize being human.
Let’s normalize accountability WITHOUT humiliation.
Let’s normalize learning WITHOUT beating ourselves up.
And let’s learn HOW to love ourselves through our mistakes—not just when we get everything right.
Because THAT is where the work gets real.
And if you’re ready to learn the HOW and WHY of love—how we give it, receive it, practice it, repair what we’ve damaged, and grow through the messy parts—
Come walk this new path with me. ❤️
We’re learning together.
One OOPS.
One lesson.
One laugh.
One act of love at a time. ❤️
Asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
NOTE: You don’t have to be perfect to keep becoming better. Headed back to bed…🛌🥰🤣😊🤗😘
One step. One step. One step.
You are loved. You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU! ❤️
WHEN LOVE ASKS ME TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR ❤️
For those who believe:
God, give me the courage today to look at myself honestly—not through shame, not through pride, not through the eyes of people who have misunderstood me, but through Your truth.
Show me the places where I need to grow.
Show me the places where I need to apologize.
Show me the places where I need to forgive.
And most of all…
teach me how to love.
Amen. ❤️
For those who don’t share my faith, here’s today’s invitation:
Take a deep breath.
Give yourself permission to look inward without beating yourself up.
You don’t have to believe in God to believe that growth begins when we’re willing to tell ourselves the truth.
❤️
Now let’s talk.
Sometimes we say we want love.
We want healthy relationships.
We want peace.
We want understanding.
We want people to communicate better.
We want people to apologize.
We want people to listen.
We want people to give us grace.
But here’s the uncomfortable question:
WHAT ABOUT ME?
Yep. Ack. Yikes.
I said it.
Because it is VERY easy to make a list of everything somebody else needs to change.
They need to communicate better.
They need to stop being so defensive.
They need to apologize.
They need to listen.
They need to stop bringing up the past.
They need to forgive.
They need to show me grace.
They need to understand me.
They need to change.
And sometimes…
WE’RE RIGHT.
Let’s not play.
Sometimes the other person really DID hurt us.
Sometimes we really WERE treated unfairly.
Sometimes somebody really DOES need to apologize.
But love asks us a harder question:
What part is mine?
Whew.
❤️
That question can humble you QUICK.
Because accountability doesn’t mean saying:
“Everything was my fault.”
That’s not accountability.
That’s shame.
Accountability says:
“This part was mine.”
Maybe I said something I shouldn’t have said.
Maybe I reacted instead of responded.
Maybe I was so busy trying to be heard that I stopped listening.
Maybe I was protecting my pride.
Maybe I wanted to win the argument instead of protect the relationship.
Maybe I kept score.
Maybe I brought up something from five years ago because I knew it would hurt.
Maybe I apologized…
but then followed it with:
“I’m sorry, BUT…”
Oooooh.
That little “BUT” has gotten a whole lot of us in trouble.
Because sometimes “I’m sorry, but…” isn’t an apology.
It’s a defense attorney. ⚖️
And I’m learning:
LOVE doesn’t require me to defend every mistake I make.
Sometimes love requires me to say:
“I was wrong.”
Period.
No paragraph.
No explanation.
No courtroom presentation.
No PowerPoint.
Just:
“I was wrong. I’m sorry. What can I do differently?”
❤️
THAT is accountability.
And accountability is not the enemy of love.
Accountability IS love.
Because if I love you, I should care about how my actions affect you.
And if I love myself, I should care about the person I’m becoming.
❤️
Here’s another uncomfortable truth:
Sometimes pride doesn’t look like arrogance.
Sometimes pride looks like:
“I shouldn’t have to apologize first.”
“They need to come to me.”
“I wouldn’t have done that if they hadn’t…”
“They started it.”
“I’m only reacting.”
“I have every right to be angry.”
“They should know what I need.”
“I shouldn’t have to explain myself.”
“I’ve already apologized once.”
“I don’t owe anybody anything.”
Now…
Before anybody throws a shoe at me…
I’m not saying you should accept disrespect.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t have boundaries.
I’m not saying you should apologize for things you didn’t do.
I’m not saying forgiveness means allowing somebody to keep hurting you.
I’m saying:
LOVE REQUIRES ME TO EXAMINE MY OWN HEART TOO.
❤️
I can’t demand accountability from everyone else while giving myself an exemption.
I can’t ask people to communicate with me while refusing to listen.
I can’t ask people to forgive me while keeping a permanent record of their mistakes.
I can’t demand grace while refusing to give it.
I can’t ask people to grow while insisting that I don’t need to.
And I can’t say:
“I love you.”
while repeatedly behaving in ways that tell you:
“Your feelings don’t matter to me.”
That’s not easy to hear.
But it is necessary.
Because we’re not just learning how to SAY love.
We’re learning how to DO love.
❤️
So here’s today’s challenge:
Before you make a list of everything somebody else needs to work on…
make a list of what YOU need to work on.
Not to shame yourself.
Not to beat yourself up.
Not to make yourself smaller.
But because growth requires honesty.
Ask yourself:
Where have I been defensive?
Where have I been prideful?
Where have I refused to apologize?
Where have I expected grace but struggled to give it?
Where have I demanded to be understood without trying to understand?
Where have I reacted instead of responded?
Where have I used anger to protect hurt?
Where have I kept score?
Where have I made excuses?
Where do I need to say, “I was wrong”?
And then ask the question that may change everything:
WHAT WOULD LOVE HAVE ME DO DIFFERENTLY NEXT TIME?
❤️
Not:
“What should THEY do?”
Not:
“How do I make them understand?”
Not:
“How do I win?”
But:
“What would love have ME do?”
That’s the HOW.
And baby…
we’re just getting started. ❤️
Because tomorrow, we’re going deeper.
We’re going to talk about what happens when you’re hurt—because loving well when everything is peaceful is one thing.
Loving well when your feelings are bruised?
That’s where the real work begins.
❤️
So if you’re willing…
come learn with me.
Not because I have mastered this.
I’m learning too.
Let’s stop pretending love is something we’re automatically good at.
Let’s learn it.
Practice it.
Mess it up.
Apologize.
Try again.
Grow.
And keep choosing love.
❤️
Because sometimes the most loving thing we can say is:
“I see what you did to me.”
And sometimes the most courageous thing we can say is:
“Now let me look at what I did to you.”
That’s not weakness.
That’s growth.
That’s humility.
That’s love.
❤️
Asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
NOTE: Beloveds, I’m fighting ME this morning. I have to make the decision to go to the Skilled Nursing Facility. Ah, God this hurts. 😢
One step.
One step.
One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU!
HOW to Get Past the Battle Between Your Pride & Your Integrity
Beloveds,
Okay…we talked about being wrong and actually admitting it.
But let’s get REAL.
Because sometimes the problem isn’t that we don’t KNOW we’re wrong.
WE KNOW.
Oh, we KNOW.
You replay the conversation in your head…
You know what you said.
You know what you did.
You know how you handled it.
And somewhere deep down inside, there’s a little voice saying:
“Yeah…you probably shouldn’t have done that.”
And your pride says:
“SHHHHHHHHHH!”
Ohhhhh, the struggle!
Because now you’ve got a battle going on inside:
❤️ Integrity: “Go apologize.”
Pride: “Absolutely NOT.”
❤️ Integrity: “You were wrong.”
Pride: “They were wrong too!”
❤️ Integrity: “That doesn’t change YOUR part.”
Pride: “But they need to apologize first!”
COME ON!
Have you ever been there?!
Because I have.
And let me tell you something:
Knowing you’re wrong and being willing to admit you’re wrong are two different skills.
That’s why we’re learning the HOW.
❤️ HOW DO YOU GET YOURSELF TO ADMIT YOU’RE WRONG?
1️⃣ STOP TRYING TO WIN.
Sometimes we aren’t trying to solve the problem.
We’re trying to win the argument.
And baby…
You can WIN the argument and LOSE the relationship.
You can prove your point…
and still hurt somebody.
You can have facts…
and still lack compassion.
You can be technically correct…
and still handle the situation completely wrong.
So ask yourself:
“Am I trying to make this right—or am I trying to make myself right?”
WHEW.
That’s a question worth sitting with.
2️⃣ OWN YOUR PART WITHOUT WAITING FOR THEM TO OWN THEIRS.
This one is HARD.
Because our pride loves keeping score.
“Well, THEY did this!”
Maybe they did.
But their behavior belongs to them.
Your behavior belongs to YOU.
You don’t have to wait for somebody else to become accountable before you become accountable.
That’s maturity.
❤️
3️⃣ DON’T MAKE YOUR APOLOGY A NEGOTIATION.
An apology isn’t:
“I’ll apologize if you apologize.”
That’s not an apology.
That’s a hostage negotiation.
You apologize because you have something to apologize for.
Whether they apologize back is between them and their conscience.
4️⃣ LEARN TO SAY THESE THREE WORDS:
“I was wrong.”
That’s it.
No dissertation.
No 47-page defense brief.
No historical timeline beginning in 1987.
Just:
“I was wrong.”
And then…
“I’m sorry.”
That’s powerful.
5️⃣ DON’T CONFUSE SHAME WITH ACCOUNTABILITY.
This is important.
Admitting:
“I did something wrong”
does NOT mean:
“I am a horrible person.”
Those are two different things.
Healthy accountability says:
“I made a mistake, and I can learn from it.”
Shame says:
“I made a mistake, therefore I AM the mistake.”
Nope.
We don’t have to destroy ourselves to take responsibility.❤️
We can own it.
Repair it.
Learn from it.
And grow.
AND SOMETIMES…
The apology you need to make isn’t even the hardest part.
The hardest part is changing the behavior afterward.
Because anybody can say:
“I’m sorry.”
But what happens the NEXT time you’re angry?
What happens the NEXT time you feel disrespected?
What happens the NEXT time your pride gets poked?
That’s where we’re going to learn something important:
An apology is not the finish line.
It’s the beginning of accountability.❤️
Because I don’t want us to become people who are really good at saying:
“Sorry.”
I want us to become people who are learning:
HOW to recognize our patterns.
HOW to regulate ourselves.
HOW to communicate when we’re hurt.
HOW to listen without preparing our defense.
HOW to disagree without destroying each other.
HOW to repair what we’ve damaged.
HOW to forgive without pretending nothing happened.
HOW to love people while still holding healthy boundaries.
THAT’S the work.
And we’re going to do it together. ❤️
YOUR HOMEWORK:
The next time you KNOW you were wrong but your pride says:
“Don’t you dare apologize!”
Don’t immediately react.
Stop.
Breathe.
Ask yourself:
“What would integrity ask me to do right now?”
Then listen.
Not to your pride.
Not to your fear.
Not to your need to win.
Listen to what is true.
And if you’re wrong?
Baby…
BE WRONG WELL. ❤️
Admit it.
Apologize.
Make it right where you can.
Change what needs changing.
And keep growing.
Because we’re not chasing perfection over here.
We’re practicing love.
And love isn’t just something we FEEL.
We’re learning the HOW. ❤️
───
❤️ COME WALK THIS PATH WITH ME
If you’re tired of inspirational words that tell you WHAT to do but never teach you HOW to actually do it…
FOLLOW ALONG. ❤️
Because that’s what we’re going to be doing here.
We’re going to talk about the uncomfortable stuff.
The pride.
The fear.
The anger.
The hurt.
The forgiveness.
The boundaries.
The communication.
The mistakes.
The repair.
The REAL LIFE stuff.
And we’re going to learn HOW to love better—not just talk about love better. ❤️
COMING UP: We’re going to talk about HOW to apologize without making excuses…
Because, Lord have mercy…
“I’m sorry, BUT…”
is sometimes where a perfectly good apology goes to DIE.
We’re going there.
And we’re going to learn HOW to listen when somebody tells us we’ve hurt them—without immediately becoming defensive.
Yep.
We’re going there too. ❤️
So…
Follow me.
Come learn with me.
Come laugh with me.
Come grow with me.
And when you realize you’re a knucklehead sometimes…
WELCOME TO THE CLUB. ❤️
Asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe ❤️
NOTE: You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love.
You just have to be willing to be honest, own what belongs to you, learn from your mistakes, and keep growing.
One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU! ❤️
🤪 Whew! I Was a Knucklehead! 😂
Beloveds,
Whew.
I DID NOT WANT TO SAY, “I’m sorry.” 😩😂
Nope.
My pride had me sitting there like:
“I KNOW I wasn’t wrong.” 😤
“I’m not apologizing.” 🙅🏽♀️
“They need to understand MY side.” 🤨
“I’m standing on what I said.” 😎
Meanwhile…
I. WAS. WRONG. 🤪🤦🏽♀️😂
And do you know what happened?
I had a choice.
I could hide behind my pride…
OR
I could tell the truth.
Whew! 😮💨
I swallowed that pride.
I admitted I was wrong.
And I said, “I’m sorry.”
😳😩😂👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
And do you know what?
I SURVIVED IT! 🤣🤣🤣
My crown didn’t fall off. 👑
My dignity didn’t disappear.
I didn’t become less of a person.
And the world did not stop spinning. 🌎😂
As a matter of fact…
I felt FREE.
Because there is something powerful about being able to say:
“I was wrong.”
Not:
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
Not:
“Well, if you hadn’t…”
Not:
“I only did it because YOU…”
Not:
“But let me tell you what YOU did!”
😂😂😂😂😂
Nope.
Just:
“I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
Period.
❤️ BUT LET’S TALK ABOUT HOW TO ACTUALLY DO THIS.
Because telling people “Just apologize!” isn’t teaching anybody HOW.
And I’m trying to teach HOW. 🎯
1️⃣ STOP.
When you realize you may have been wrong, don’t immediately start building your defense case. 😂⚖️
Your brain might start throwing exhibits at you:
Exhibit A: “But they did this!”
Exhibit B: “They started it!”
Exhibit C: “I had a reason!”
Exhibit D: “They don’t understand me!”
😂😂😂
STOP.
Take a breath.
You don’t have to defend yourself before you’ve even figured out whether you’re right.
2️⃣ ASK YOURSELF THE HARD QUESTION.
“Was I wrong?”
Not:
“Can I explain why I did it?”
Not:
“Can I find something they did wrong too?”
Not:
“Can I make this 50/50?”
Just:
“Was I wrong?”
That’s accountability.
🎯
3️⃣ SEPARATE YOUR INTENTION FROM YOUR IMPACT.
You may not have MEANT to hurt somebody.
But if what you did caused harm, you can acknowledge the harm without declaring yourself a horrible person.
You can say:
“That wasn’t my intention, but I understand that my actions hurt you.”
That’s maturity.
❤️
4️⃣ DON’T ADD A “BUT.”
This little three-letter word has destroyed MANY apologies. 😂😂😂
“I’m sorry, BUT…”
🚨🚨🚨
Here comes the defense attorney! 🤣⚖️
An apology isn’t the place to sneak your excuse through the back door.
You can explain later.
First…
Own what belongs to you.
5️⃣ SAY EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID WRONG.
Don’t make the other person drag it out of you.
Instead of:
“Sorry about everything.”
Try:
“I was wrong for what I said. I understand why it hurt you, and I’m sorry.”
Specific accountability is powerful.
6️⃣ DON’T DEMAND IMMEDIATE FORGIVENESS.
You don’t get to decide how quickly someone heals from something you did.
You can apologize sincerely…
and give them room.
❤️
7️⃣ CHANGE THE BEHAVIOR.
This is the BIG one.
Because an apology without changed behavior can become nothing more than a recurring subscription. 😂😂😂
Sorry.
Do it again.
Sorry.
Do it again.
Sorry.
Baby… that’s not growth. 🤣🤪
Real accountability says:
“I apologized, AND I’m going to work on not repeating this.”
That’s where the apology becomes transformation.
🤪 AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE…
Sometimes the hardest person to admit you’re wrong to…
is YOURSELF.
Because pride whispers:
“If you admit you’re wrong, you’re weak.”
NOPE.
Try again.
Admitting you’re wrong takes strength.
It takes humility.
It takes honesty.
It takes courage.
And sometimes…
it takes swallowing a whole lot of pride. 😂😂😂
But here’s what I’ve learned:
Pride wants to protect your image.
Integrity wants to protect your character.
WHEW. 🎯
That’s a word right there.
I’d rather be a person who can say:
“I was wrong.”
than a person who has to be right all the time.
Because being right doesn’t make you loving.
Being right doesn’t automatically make you wise.
And being right certainly doesn’t mean you handled the situation right.
Sometimes…
you can be right about the issue and still be wrong about how you handled it.
👀
Let that marinate.
😂🤪
❤️ SO TODAY’S CHALLENGE:
Think about somebody you owe an apology to.
Maybe you need to say:
“I’m sorry.”
Maybe you need to say:
“I was wrong.”
Maybe you need to say:
“I understand now why that hurt you.”
Or maybe…
you need to apologize to YOURSELF for allowing pride to keep you stuck somewhere you were ready to grow.
Whatever it is…
DO IT.
Not because you’re weak.
Because you’re growing.
Not because you’re surrendering your dignity.
Because you’re choosing integrity.
Not because you’re admitting you’re a terrible person.
Because you’re acknowledging:
“I am human. I make mistakes. And I am willing to take responsibility for mine.”
And if you mess up?
Say it with me:
“WHEW! I WAS A KNUCKLEHEAD!” 🤪🤣🤣🤣
Then fix what you can.
Learn what you need to learn.
Love where you can.
And keep moving.
Because the goal isn’t to become someone who never gets it wrong.
The goal is to become someone who is humble enough to say:
“I got it wrong. Let me make it right.”
Now THAT is strength. ❤️🎯👏🏽
And yes…
I’M CASSANDRA.
And apparently…
I’M ALSO A RECOVERING KNUCKLEHEAD. 🤪🤣🤣🤣🤣
But I’m learning.
And I’m inviting you to learn with me.
Because we’re not here just to encourage one another.
We’re here to learn HOW to love better.
HOW to communicate better.
HOW to take responsibility.
HOW to grow.
HOW to make things right.
One apology.
One lesson.
One changed behavior.
One step at a time. ❤️
Asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe ❤️
NOTE: You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love.
You just have to be willing to be honest about who you are, own what belongs to you, make amends where you can, and keep growing.
One step. One step. One step.
You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU! ❤️🤪👑
Beloveds,
WHEW!🤯
YIKES!🥶🥺
I had to apologize.
To God.
To my sister.
To my niece.
To my brothers.
And, if I’m being completely honest…
I had to apologize to myself, too. 🫠🤕🫤 WHEW. This one hurt.
Because sometimes God doesn’t ask us to look at what somebody ELSE did.
He asks us to look in the mirror. 👀 And baby… I HAD TO LOOK. 😳
For the past two years, I fought the people who were trying to help me because I was scared.
I was worried about bills.
I was worried about money.
I was worried about what would happen next.
So I worked. And worked. And WORKED.
I had already been killing myself at work for almost 14 years before my stroke.
Let me be very clear:
I am NOT saying my work caused my stroke.
A stroke may have happened anyway. But I can acknowledge that years of pushing myself beyond my limits, combined with my eating habits and other choices, certainly didn’t help me.
And here’s another thing I need to say:
The devil didn’t cause my stroke. I’m not giving the devil credit for everything that happens in my life.
Sometimes… we have to be honest enough to examine our own choices. And my biggest revelation?
I chose not to trust. 😳
I had been told repeatedly: “Trust God.” “Let God handle it.” “Stop trying to carry everything yourself.” “Let people help you.”
And what did I do? 🙈🙉🙊
I kept fighting. I kept trying to control everything. I kept trying to figure everything out.
I kept letting fear convince me that if I didn’t handle it, everything would fall apart.
And somewhere along the way… fear became louder than faith. And pride started driving the car. 🚗💨
Oh, I KNOW I’m not the only one who’s ever done that!
We say we trust God… until God asks us to do something we DON’T want to do. 😂😭
Then suddenly we’re like: “Okay, God… let’s negotiate.” NOPE. 😂
😂😂
My doctors have advised me that I need to spend some time in a Skilled Nursing Facility so I can become physically stronger, continue therapy in a setting where trained nursing staff can monitor me and quickly respond if something goes wrong, and allow my sister and niece to rest and get their lives back.
And there it was. My OUCH. 🤯😳🥺
Because accepting that help meant admitting: I cannot do everything myself. And that was hard for me.
VERY hard.
Because somehow I had turned my stroke into something that was ALL ABOUT ME.
But my stroke didn’t happen to only me.
It happened to EVERYBODY who loves me.
My sister was tired.
My niece was tired.
My brothers were tired.
My friends were tired.
The people who loved me were carrying pieces of this too.
And then my sister…
And honestly?
She had every right to be angry. I didn’t enjoy hearing it. Ohhhh NOOOO. 😬
But after I absorbed my deserved beatdown… I had to sit with it.
And that’s when God asked me ONE question:
“What were you—and what are you—SO afraid of?” 😳 YIKES.
That question stopped me. Because I had been so busy fighting everybody about what I thought I needed… that I hadn’t stopped to ask myself what was underneath all that fighting.
FEAR.
I sat with it.
I owned it.
And then fam and I had a four-hour conversation.
Four.
Hours.
We put our hearts on the table. ❤️
I’m going to keep the words of that conversation private because some conversations belong between the people who had them.
But I can tell you what I learned.
Sometimes accountability doesn’t feel good. Sometimes accountability feels like getting your whole house of excuses knocked down. 🧱💥
But accountability is NOT punishment. Accountability is an invitation to grow.
And here’s what God has been teaching me:
We do ourselves—and the people who love us—a tremendous disservice when we continually choose fear over faith.
Because fear doesn’t just hurt us.
Fear can make us resistant. Fear can make us stubborn. Fear can make us angry.
Fear can make us push away the very people trying to help us. Fear can make us confuse control with strength.
And pride?
Ohhhh, pride will have you fighting for your right to stay exactly where God is trying to move you from. 😳
Pride says: “I know what I’m doing.”
Faith says: “God, I don’t understand this, but I’ll trust You.”
Pride says: “I can handle it myself.”
Faith says: “I need help.”
Pride says: “I don’t want anybody telling me what to do.”
Wisdom says: “Maybe somebody else can see something I can’t see right now.”
Pride says: “I’ll figure it out.”
Humility says: “I need you.” And sometimes… the most faithful thing we can say is: “Okay, God. I surrender.” 🙏🏽
So yes… we have made a decision. I am going to the Skilled Nursing Facility.
Not because I’m giving up.
NOT because I’m weak.
NOT because my life is over.
And certainly not because fear gets the final word.
I’m going FOR MY OWN GOOD. ❤️🩹
I’m going so I can get stronger.
I’m going so I can focus on rehabilitation.
I’m going so trained professionals can help monitor me.
I’m going so my family can breathe.
I’m going so my sister and niece can rest.
I’m going because sometimes receiving help is not a failure.
Receiving help can be an act of love.
THAT brings me right back to what we’ve been talking about:
THE HOW OF LOVE. ❤️
Because love isn’t always somebody holding your hand and telling you everything is going to be okay.
Sometimes love says: “Baby, you’re wrong.” 😳
Sometimes love says: “We’re not doing this anymore.”
Sometimes love says: “You need help.”
Sometimes love gets angry because it’s exhausted from watching you hurt yourself.
Sometimes love has to tell you something you desperately don’t want to hear.
That’s love, too: Learning to RECEIVE that kind of love?
That’s part of the HOW.
So here’s my lesson for today:
❤️ HOW DO WE OWN OUR FOOLISHNESS?
1. Stop blaming everybody else.
Before asking, “Who did this to me?” Ask: “What part of this belongs to me?” Not ALL of it. Your part. Own YOUR part.
2. Name the fear underneath the behavior.
Ask yourself: “What am I REALLY afraid of?” Because anger may be covering fear. Control may be covering fear. Stubbornness may be covering fear. Pride may be covering fear. Find the fear. Then deal with the fear.
3. Stop confusing pride with strength.
There is nothing strong about refusing help when you need it. There is strength in saying: “I need help.”
4. Listen when people who love you tell you something difficult.
They may not always be right.
But don’t automatically dismiss them because you don’t like what they’re saying.
Sometimes the uncomfortable voice is the voice carrying the truth you need.
5. Apologize without adding a BUT.
Not: “I’m sorry, BUT…” No. Just: “I’m sorry. I was wrong.” Whew. That’s a hard sentence for some of us.
But it can be incredibly freeing.
6. Change the behavior.
Because an apology without changed behavior becomes another promise nobody believes.
If I say I’m sorry for fighting everybody who loves me… then I have to learn how to stop fighting everybody who loves me.
That’s the HOW.
7. Let humility have a seat at the table.
You don’t have to know everything. You don’t have to control everything. You don’t have to carry everything!
And you absolutely do NOT have to prove your strength by suffering alone.
❤️ So today I’m saying:
God, I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for the times fear became bigger than my faith.
I’m sorry for the times pride spoke louder than wisdom.
I’m sorry for the ways my resistance hurt the people who were trying to love me.
I’m sorry for making everything about what I was going through and forgetting that the people who loved me were going through it too.
And God… thank You for loving me enough to ask me the question I didn’t want to answer: “What are you so afraid of?”
Because sometimes the beginning of healing isn’t another person changing.
Sometimes… it’s us finally telling the truth about ourselves. ❤️🩹
And Beloveds… if you’re reading this and realizing that fear has been running YOUR life… don’t beat yourself up.
Don’t sit in shame.
Own it.
Ask the hard question.
Apologize where you need to apologize.
Receive correction.
Make the change.
And then…
MOVE FORWARD.
Because accountability isn’t about living forever in yesterday’s mistake.
It’s about learning enough from yesterday that you don’t keep repeating it tomorrow.
That’s what I’m doing.
I’m learning.
I’m surrendering.
I’m receiving help.
I’m getting stronger.
And I’m learning the HOW of love.
Including how to love the people who love me enough to tell me the truth. ❤️🔥
Now I’m asking YOU:
Have you ever let fear, pride, stubbornness, or the need to control something keep you from accepting help?
What happened when you finally had to surrender? You don’t have to tell us anything private. Just ask yourself:
“What am I so afraid of?”
Your answer might teach you something you desperately need to know. We’re going to keep learning this together.
The HOW of love.
How to give it.
How to receive it.
How to recognize it.
How to apologize.
How to forgive.
How to set boundaries.
How to listen.
How to humble ourselves.
How to love somebody enough to tell them the truth… even when the truth hurts.
❤️💞❤️🔥 Come walk this path with me.
Follow along, because we’re just getting started.
Asking for A Friend,
Cassandra #YourLifeMattersToMe
NOTE: Sometimes the bravest words we can say are: “I was wrong.” “I’m sorry.” “I need help.” “I don’t know.” “I surrender.”
And sometimes… “Okay, God. You were right.” 😂🙏🏽
One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU! ❤️
WHEW.
🧱🤯😱
Keep pruning, beloveds.
