Me: Things are not changing. No matter what I try. No matter what I pray. No matter what I do!
God: Why does this frighten you.
Me: I don’t know how I am going to make it to the other side.
God: Take your eyes off the waves, beloved. Focus on the destination ahead.
Me: Will I make it to the other side?
God: Do you trust Me?
Me: Yes.
God: Do you trust My Character?
Me: Yes.
God: Will you continue to do so even when I grow silent? Even when a sudden course correction is made? Even if you end up in the LAST place you hoped to be?
Me: Ack!😳😥🌪❤️🩹❤️🔥⚒️🚪🤡
Me: *sigh*. Yes.
I dreamed I was trying to find a job. I found myself contemplating calling my old job and trying to get my job back. I was tired of the uncertainty.
Still, getting my old job back won’t settle my spirit. Yes, I would garner temporary relief from having a bit of financial stability. False stability. My age, gender and ethnicity are three strikes in this current climate.
The Bible says, “Let us not be weary in well doing as in due season we shall reap if we faint not.”
I’m trying not to be weary. I want soooooooooo much to faint. The struggle is real.
I do my best not to focus on when. I just do my why. Every day. And wait. And wait. And wait.
God, I’m tired of waiting! Fresh heckamiah.
I ended up closing my mouth and taking a nap. Words are powerful. If you can’t speak life over your circumstances, say nothing! Don’t speak doom and gloom over your today!
Be encouraged. Take your eyes off the 🌊 waves.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: We will make it some kind of way. In the meantime, take a break from your try. Get some rest for your mind. We can hit the ground running later. Give later permission to hang out with lazy…😂
Did you know that you lose folk, in less than ten seconds, if you are not:
Interesting enough.
Funny enough.
Engaging enough.
Witty enough.
Self aware enough.
According to YouTube’s Algorithm. Apparently, also, to the world’s Algorithm!
Seemingly, sadly, folk are in a race to find other folk who will:
Entertain them.
Distract them.
Move them.
Fill them.
Feed them.
Support them.
Win them.
Dance for them.
Hurry up!
Be quick about it!
Make me laugh!
Make me feel better!
Entertain me!
More!
Louder!
Quieter!
In this mode, we find ourselves performing. Unwittingly. Automatically. Robotically.
After a time, we forget why we are jumping through everyone’s loops. We just jump now.
Higher.
Higher.
Jump higher!
Jump faster!
Smile, when you jump!
Show some gratitude while you are at it!
Exhausted, unremembering, remarkably we grow tired.
Yet, we jump.
And, jump.
And, jump.
Until, we grow tired.
Then, we continue to jump OUTWARDLY. But, INSIDE, we cease. Inwardly, seething. Outwardly, jumping, smiling, showing gratitude.
Why?
For love crumbs, of course.
For a smidge of validation, of course.
In the hopes of a tiny amount of recognition, of course.
How exhausting.
How sad.
How frustrating.
HOW, on earth, can we put each other through the immense pressure of being all things, at ALL times, or else?!
WHY, do WE have to be the one that gives EVERYTHING?
Why, must WE be the one to GIVE everything?
When will it be OUR turn to receive love, acceptance and support?
Why, do I have to forget about me, in order to serve you constantly, consistently, creatively?
This dance is meant to be one of collaboration. I, for you. You, for me. Together.
I can’t solve all your needs. Heckamiah, I can barely meet my own half the time!
So, I find myself staring at the YouTube Algorithm. I need to be ME. I need to speak, with integrity.
I have much to say. I need to have time to say it!
I stare at the world. I have much to say. I need to have time to say it.
Ah, God. Help us to see one another, in ten seconds or less.
It has been really disheartening to see how many people are choosing to be dishonest, deceitful, or hurtful just to make a dollar on Tik Tok, on YouTube, and in other places and spaces.
People are purposely lying about their lives and situations to garner clout and click bait. How sad.
Don’t be ashamed to be you beloved. Be who you are. Accept who you are. Love who you are.
If you are doing things that do not serve you or your fellow man, work on correcting those things. If you’re doing the best you can, keep doing the best you can.
Don’t sell out your integrity. You are worth so much more than that. You are priceless. You are amazing. You are incredibly special. There are so many who would be honored to know you. There are those who would be glad to love you just as you are.
Allow the world a chance to know the real you.
Stop jumping through hoops. Stop making people jump through your hoops. It’s time we all learn how to love one another. It’s time we give each other time to grow and expand, without the fear of being kicked to the curb.
I’m doing the best that I can to be the kind of friend I wish I had in my life right now. I’m trying my best to be a good neighbor. I’m doing the best I can to be a good corporate citizen. I’m trying my utmost to be a good global neighbor. That’s all I can do.
My heart rolls out to every aching soul who feels left out in a long right now. There are so many people who are discouraged because they feel they will never be loved. So they hide amongst things. Chasing money, chasing relationships. All in the hope of trying to be loved.
It has taken me more than 50 years to learn to love and accept all of me. I love me now. All of me. I love my dumbness. I love my foolishness. I love my seriousness. I love my broke self. I love my discouraged self. I love my frustrated self.
I know this piece has been a little bit longer than usual. My heart is just heavy. I wish I could love everyone to wholeness. I can’t. God can. I will be praying for us all today.
Be encouraged. I love you.
loving you, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I am incredibly sad that it took 50 years for me to learn how to love and accept me. I am broken hearted that there are so many who have yet to accept and love themselves. Life is short.
The only way to begin a journey of self love is to sit down and to be honest with yourself. Why don’t you accept you? Why don’t you love you? Why won’t you let others love you? Why won’t you let God love you? The answer is may surprise you.
Lift up your head. Don’t be ashamed of your answer. Your heart shall be healed. You shall be loved. Be encouraged.
Beloveds, the world 🌎 is forever telling us what we are not:
Black folk are not qualified because they are not intelligent.
White folk are entitled to it because they are white, not because they earned it.
Women are to be seen and not heard.
The young are to be seen and not heard.
Old folk are no longer important enough to be seen or heard.
Gay folk are not to be seen or heard from.
Transfer folk…they are not to exist.
Republicans are hateful fools who vote against their own interests.
Democrats are woke idiots who need to owned.
Rich folk are too rich to be bothered by common folk.
Poor folk are too busy worrying about finding/keeping a roof over their heads to think about being seen or heard.
Beloveds, I see you. I hear you. I just stopped by to tell you that I love you and that I care for your life.
Be encouraged. Be a light in all of this darkness. Lift up your head. Be YOU. Do your best to love others. Especially those who don’t look like you, who don’t talk like you, who don’t live where you live, who don’t have what you have.
Life is short. Stop looking at your neighbor as your enemy. Stop making yourself an enemy through hatred, misogyny or fear.
Karma is a real bitch. She is fixing to dish out some FAFO to those in need of it.
Life is short. Shine your light. The darkness can not stand once the lights get turned on.
asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I am beyond all the hateful/hurtful rhetoric being tossed around the 🌎 world. Enough! I’m tired of the hateful/harmful words being tossed about from every community. Enough!
The fact that more grown folk are not ashamed of acting like fools and children is embarrassing/shameful. What happened to parents teaching their children diversity, equity, and inclusion? Since when did these words become a crime? Embarrassing. Do better, people.😳❤️🩹❤️💙🫂
Excuse me, beloveds, whilst I have a brief but immensely satisfying, virtual temper tantrum…
Whew!
It was either throw a virtual temper tantrum or throw my laptop over the balcony railing…*pout*.
I have been working on the first piece I am planning to upload to YouTube.
I pressed record. I spoke. For 30 some odd minutes.
I exported said recording. I played it back to make sure all the captions showed…*sigh*.
All was well for 13 minutes.
13 minutes?! Surely not?😳😤
Surely, sadly, the next 17 minutes were greeted with silence as the rest of the 📹 video image continued to roll.
I tried everything that I didn’t know to find 17 minutes worth of lost words and emotions.
Heckamiah Jeremiah! Crap!!!!! OMG!!!
The story of my damned life this last year!!…*stamps foot*.
I decided to use the energy from my mad 😡 to work on a piece to encourage folk when they have lost WORDS THEY HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND FOR A BLASTED YEAR AND NOW THEY ARE GONE LIKE THE JOB I NO LONGER HAVE AND EMPTY BANK ACCOUNT LAUGHING IN MY
BROKE FACE!!
I am learning not to live in my feels. I am learning to not waste too much time lamenting over what I have lost.
I am learning to reframe loss. This was just another practice session. This was an opportunity to learn the software. This was a chance to see that I COULD speak, extemporaneous, for 30 minutes.
The ONLY way to learn is to go ahead and learn.
I am learning HOW. I am learning how to be PATIENT as I learning.
I AM learning. That’s the point, isn’t it? I can’t give out what I haven’t received for myself.
Be encouraged. Use ALL your day to make your day. Even the frustrating portions.
I promised myself I wouldn’t stop until I learned. I have. I’ve done my try. I have put in another day’s of working on my dreams. This is enough for me.
I’m fixing to reward myself with some sausage and cheese sandwiches. Who is up for a snack?
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: The old me would have raged and pouted for days. I would have had a pity party and ate my way through a bag of Doritos. I would have stayed from the computer for days. Life is much too short for THAT foolishness.
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 