Author: Cassandra S.

Why don’t You? Why won’t you?

Me: Why don’t You?

God: Why won’t you?

Me: Why did You?

God: Why didn’t you?

Me: When will you?

God: Why couldn’t you?

Me: You didn’t ask loud enough.

God: You were too loud to hear.

Me: Ack.

God: Ack.

Me: What now?

God: Now what?

Me: Kinda hard to argue with Your logic.

God: True that.

🤷‍♀️🥰,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I grew up being admonished to never question God. How the hooey can you ever build a RELATIONSHIP with Someone you can’t have HONEST dialog with?

Life is challenging. Life challenges us to keep questioning our why and our way so we can live a life with integrity and not have to worry about why.

Be encouraged. Stop looking for easy. Easy is other there hanging out with lazy, defeat and discouragement. Do you REALLY want to spend your years with THEM?!😳

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

All is NOT lost.

All is NOT lost.

This is what I told myself, today.

This is what I have been having to tell myself EVERY day, here lately.

I have had to tell fear and doubt to kick rocks.

I have had to tell my feels to take two seats.

I have had to turn on the lights.

I have had to take out the trash.

I have had to back away from the Lay’s and Doritoes.

I have had to get as much rest as my anxt will allow. Anxt sure can be loud, yikes.

When going through, beloveds, it is important to remember that all truly is not lost.

And, if you do lose something, remember that God and The Universe have taken all things into account. Some things need to go. Other things need to be tweaked. Still others need to be changed or rearranged.

It’s the in the meantime that can get awfully frustrating and discouraging if we allow.

I did not feel like working today. Yet, working has been a welcome distraction from grief and hard. Grief, it appears, does not care too much for light and bad singing and dish washing. It took off a bit ago. Yeppers, grief got annoyed and lazy was not feeling chores so took off with grief and discouragement.

Now, I am just left with joy and peace. My heart is still a bit heavy yet joy is mixed in with it.

I am keeping my promise of writing everyday. Whether I feel like it or not. I am also pondering on things and determining which way to go to get a podcast going and upgrading to a higher WordPress plan so I can take advantage of more treats and benefits I have no idea how to use…*shrug*.

I hear a cup of coffee calling. Just stopped by to splash you with a bit of encouragement. Be encouraged. Everything truly WILL be okay.

Take care of your heart for it is precious and you are priceless. Love someone. Starting with you.

cheering for you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: One step at time. And, if all you can take, today, is one step…that’s okay. It’s one step closer to your dream coming true. We got this.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Keep pushing through.

Keep pushing through.

Bad news is everywhere.

Every step seems to be harder than the one before it.

The answer to every question appears to be no.

Keep pushing through.

In the meantime keep being good to you. It’s easy to do things that don’t serve us when we are going through hard times.

Spend time with folks who will uplift you. Uplift yourself. Help someone else. Keep telling yourself the truth. You are doing everything that you know.

The Universe will open its doors to you. 🚪 🗝

Be encouraged.

You CAN.

You WILL.

pushing through with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: You got this.

.

I don’t know where I am. But, I know where I am not.

I don’t know where I am.

But I don’t know where I am not.

I am not:

Lost.

Defeated.

Without hope.

I am:

Hopeful.

Joyful.

Resolute.

I have no idea:

If I can or will.

This I DO know:

I will try.

Every day.

With all that I have.

And, that will be enough for me.

not lost,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Never, ever, ever give up on you. The world will do what it will. Hang in there, beloveds. We got this. Be encouraged. Keep looking up. Keep moving forward. Your breakthrough will come. When? God knows but He’s not telling. He wants it to be a surprise.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being… YOU!

Believe in YOU.

Believe in YOU, beloveds.

Not the mistakes you have made.

Believe in your future, beloveds.

Not in the past that has clouded your present.

Believe in your try, beloveds.

Not in the failures your try has left behind.

Why?

Because you are getting all your no’s out of the way!

Be encouraged. Stop focus on what you don’t have. Use your little and ask God and The Universe to make it a lot. Look at what Jesus did with a couple of fish and bread!

believing with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep doing you. You are the miracle you have been seeking. Haven’t you noticed the changes made in you? How do I know? You wouldn’t be here otherwise!

Ah, beloveds, be encouraged. We can do this. We can. Life is so very precious. Breathe it in. You are worth it. Keep going. We got thangs to do, don’t we?

Be not discouraged. Your disappointment is leading you to greatness. You shall see.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Prepare: Don’t fear the storm.

Alexa interrupted a perfectly good cup of coffee to holler at me at an impending storm which is due to hit at midnight.

The bag of trash that has been nagging me for TWO days, arched it’s eyebrow with a look that it advised it would behoove me to bust a move and take it out.

I weighed the choice between leaving my comfortable chair against the strong possiblity of something awful gonna grow and crawl out of the trash after being snowed in for who knows when long.

As you can imagine I got some act right quick, fast and in a super hurry!🏃‍♀️

Done!

Now, I can relax and enjoy whatever I was enjoying before the trash interrupted me.

Huh? Oh, yes. Coffee! Care to join me?

Don’t fear upcoming storms, beloveds. Prepare as best you can then get on with enjoying your day and life.

Challenging times comes to just that: Challenge us!

Tell woe is me to shut up already. Take out some so what and sprinkle it liberally over every corner of your life.

Tough stuff happened. So what? See how easy that was?🤣

Your life can and will be as amazing as you choose and allow it to be. If you don’t like where you are prepare to move on to something else.

DO something. Doesn’t have to be momentous. Just do something to get momentum going. Momentum will take care of the rest.

By the by, beloveds, do you know EXACTLY what you want God and The Universe to give to you? Specifically?

If someone knocked on your door and asked would you be able to tell them? If not, get to daydreaming and fashioning what you want things to look like.

Then, open your eyes and do. I realized I have accomplished much more than I thought in pursuit of my dream.

I have consistently written every day for so long now I can’t remember the last time I didn’t write.

I have also been using my job to strengthen my skills. I talk to oodles of folk every day. I am using every interaction to improve communication and work on my soft skills. I am super passionate and super excitable so I am forever working to temper my passion so I can communicate effectively.

I have been working on my health. Working on my chicklets, my mentals. I don’t know why it tickles to call my brain chicklets. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤣

I have asked some folk for help who said they would. They didn’t. I have tried to network on our workplace and asked for what I needed/wanted. Nothing happened.

I have asked my work to utilize my gifts and skills and reached out as high as I could go. Was advised I would be utilized. I wasn’t.

After George Floyd was murdered, I reached out to countless organizations and folks who said they cared and would help folk like me. They said they would partner with me so I could help make a difference. They didn’t. Nothing was different.

I have offered myself and offered myself and offered myself. So far at 55 there have been no takers.

I have asked God many, many, many times why my try, my ask, my effort, why me, ME, has not been pulled off the shelf and utilized in the manner I have always longed to be.

No answer. Nothing. Nada!

In the meantime,  I prepare. To be used. To be able to encourage as many as life will allow.

I stand, prepared.

Waiting.

Available.

In the meantime, I do that which I long to do: Encourage folk.

Hhmm.

Ah.

Aha!

I am grateful, beloveds, that God and Life and The Universe did not answer my desperate cry for rest and sabbatical yet.

Why? Because, I have been given so much more than a sabbatical could ever have been given.

I would never have learned how to embrace hard. I would never have found out how much I care about things.

I would have never seen the fight in me grow so strong I no longer care what happens as I KNOW God is with me and I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I would never have seen me grow so much I can finally grieve for my dad.

I would never have grown so much I am unapologetically me no matter what folk may or may not think of me.

Delay has not been denial. Delay has been God’s Grace so I could learn to stand, grow and LIVE. In the present. Joyful. Hopeful. Resilient.

I would have never met this me. This me, no longer a stranger. This me, a wonderfully goofy friend! I am no longer my own worst enemy.

Hallelujah. 🥰🤗🙌

Prepare, beloveds. Your time, your turn will come. In the meantime, look around you and see all that you have accomplished in your waiting.

If my dreams never come to pass, I will and am enjoying my life.

Life is short. Live. Love someone. Start with you.

prepared for my dream to come true,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

#HereForIt

Note: I sometimes wonder why we were not born fully formed. I guess logistically, for one, we wouldn’t fit in mom’s tummy.😊😁😂

I imagine it’s in part for us to learn all the lessons we will need to lead and act out a successful life. What does success mean to you?

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Turn frustration into some action.

I was frustrated about what was happening in my life.

Okay so I was frustrated about what was NOT happening.  I had been enjoying breakfast and coffee. For whatever reason I began to get frustrated thinking about what I had not yet accomplished.

The more I thought the more frustrated I became.  We are lighting this I told myself to shut up and go take out the trash.

I have learned to put myself on punishment to help keep my act right acting right.

As an additional consequence I told myself to clean out the refrigerator. Peeeeeuuu!

Ew!!😳

The things I pulled out of that refrigerator cannot be named in polite company.

We are expecting a storm with at least 6 inches of snow tonight. I did not want to have piles of garbage sitting in my house to collect bugs. I did that before and have been trying to get them out every since.

I appreciate my frustration. It caused me to move. It forced me to do what I needed to do in the first place.

I was able to get a bit of exercise in also after taking out the trash.  A double win.

Be encouraged, beloveds. Use your frustration and DO something. As you work on your dreams, allow life to work on and in you to help you clear out trash and other things needing done.

Every try is getting you closer.

Closer to what?

Great question! Keep asking!

clearing the path for a dream,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Um, like, you should be taking out trash or cleaning your fridge or something, remember? Smh. Scoot!

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

What if you could? Would you?

What if you could change your(the) world by:

(Fill in your why here)

Would you?

Really?

Would you start today?

Would you give it your all?

Would you sacrifice your time?

Would you keep going even when it hurt?

Would you do so if you had to do so alone?

Would you if no crowd cheered you on?

Would you if no 🏆 trophy greeted you at the end?

Would you if the only heart/life changed was your own?

Would you even if fortune was not the end result?

If the answer is yes, beloveds, what on earth are you waiting for? Life is short.

If the answer is no, why on earth not?! This world needs YOU, beloved. Yea, you. This world needs your:

Integrity.

Truth.

Uniqueness.

Love.

Time.

Thoughts.

Share them, beloveds. Share YOU. Lift up your head. It’s time you showed shame the door. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

You have tried. You try, still. You are a hero. Most folk would have given up a long time ago. You have experienced much.

Stop comparing your struggles to others and finding yours unworthy or not special enough to be counted.

You matter. You do. Get up now, beloveds. You have things to do. Let THIS moment be the LAST moment you will dismiss your try and your worth.

Come. There is a world out there in need. We can change things, beloveds. We can. In our corner of the world. In those around us. In us.

Let’s go. We got this. God and The Universe has us all.

believing in you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I’m excited. I’m thinking about my first motivational video I am learning how to make. I have spent an entire off day working on my dream.

Ah, God. Help me reach the entirety of the world with MY try. Make my words viral. Folk need to hear and know they are loved and not alone.

Be encouraged, beloveds. Shoot me an email. Let me know how you are. Send a warm thought or prayer in my direction that I might do service to all my heart wants to give.

Do you want it? Really?

Do you want your dream to come true, beloveds?

Really?

This may seem like a ridiculous question but it’s important.

Why?

Let me ask another question:

If The Universe showed up and said “Let’s get started”, will you:

Run?

Laugh?

Cry?

Make excuses you are too busy “right now”?

Get started?

Wonder what the heck were you thinking and decide to stay in your safe space?

Yesterday, God and The Universe began opening me up to all kinds of tutorials and courses and software and all kinds of things to help me to actually put action to my dreams and start seeing what I had been dreaming and demanding for aeons.

What did I do when that happened? I cried of course then started wondering what in the fresh hell was I thinkinggggggggg, Caaaaasssaaandra!

😳🥸♥️😳🥸

After I got over a bit of stage fright, I began to daydream and ponder realistic goals I could achieve.

Ah.

Aha!

If The Universe has been driving you up 50 walls by whispering the whole of the world is waiting for you, despair not. You are on the precipice of wonderful adventures.

Keep fighting through your anxt. Keep challenging yourself not to give up. Keep being HONEST and admit you don’t know how. Keep asking to be shown how.

Mostly, beloveds, KNOW that YOU are the miracle you seek. The instant I settled, within myself, that I could soar right where I am, The Universe showed up.

See, God could have opened financial doors a long time ago. But, I would have been the same broken, afraid, hopeless, lazy person when it came to my own dream that I had been forever.

This sounds harsh, beloveds, but it’s true. I didn’t try as hard as I could for ME. I killed myself for everyone else to the point I had no energy, time or belief left for me.

Or, so I had lied to myself. It was only after I became honest with ME, with God, with Life, with The Universe, with family and friends, I could begin the hard work of healing and growing.

I share this in hopes it may encourage you and give you the courage to confront yourself, forgive yourself and move forward with your dreams and life.

Today, is the first day of my writing life MY way. A friend told me “It’s all about the blog”. She told me to keep writing but would not say why.

Many, many times I asked myself why bother when nobody reads it anyway?!

Yet, something inside said, still says, to reach out. Every day. Somewhere, someone needs to see and hear they are loved and not alone.

Now, I have oodles of ridiculous words and Cassandra sayings to make a million inspirational  YouTube videos or other podcasts and things.

I’m taking a chance on me. I am more than just one of many. As are you, beloveds.

Let’s take hold of our fears and do thangs anyway, shall we?

You are your niche, your target 🎯 audience. Point yourself in Life’s direction and let The Universe take care of the rest.

Let’s go!

excitedly horrified,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: We CAN. We WILL. WE HAVE TO!

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Don’t be afraid of the dark.

I have been fighting with grief for a while now. Rather grief has been fighting with me.

Turn me loose!

Leave me alone!

I’m actually glad grief showed up.  I was forced to confront what in the world I was grieving.

?????

!!!!!!!!

😡🤒🥵😳☹🙏

For days, I wrestled. I cried. I slept little. I slept none. Crap. Ack! Fresh hell!

Finally!

I realized I was grieving…*sigh*… for my dad who passed away a dozen years ago now. I think.

To this day, I don’t/won’t/can’t think on the time of his passing. Until now.

It seems that I have healed enough so God and The Universe can walk me through this next level of hell, er, healing. Crap! Fresh hell…*pout*.

My heart is finally giving me permission to grieve. Okay. Okay! I am finally giving my heart permission to grieve.

Up until a week or so ago I was feeling too ashamed to grieve. I had not been able to attend his service and secretly never forgave myself for being a horrible daughter for not attending.

I had good reason. I had recently lost my private care job due to my client having passed away. He was more than a client.😥

So, I had to stay in town and look for another job to pay the bills. I also had to stick around for reporting to unemployment so I could receive my weekly $211 check. 211! Do you know how tough it is living on that! Don’t get me started.

In any event, I brutally told myself he was dead and we were alive and I had to beat the streets to find a job and keep it moving.

I eventually found a job. I kept it moving. Secretly, I beat hell out of myself for having to keep it moving.

A dear friend of mine lost her dad, recently. I prayed for her. I felt bad with and for her. I tried to move on and get on with getting on with it.

To my surprise, I found I was stuck. In the dark. Somewhere.

What the what the?!

I found myself:

Restless.

In tears.

Inconsolable.

????!!!!

It was only when I asked myself, over and over, that my heart spoke loud enough for me to hear over my grief.

I was grieving the loss of my dad.

I was grieving the loss of my dad?!

I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY DAD!!

Finally, my heart said.

Finally, my spirit said.

Finally, my soul said.

Finally, God said.

Finally, The Universe said.

Finally, Life said.

Finally, Jesus said and stretched out His Nail-scarred Hand.

Ah.

Aha!

I find this fitting for this to be my last piece for the week.

I miss you, dad. Tell mom hi, for me.😥

I am grateful for the dark. The darkness forced me to fight my way back to the light and living.

Don’t be afraid of the dark, beloveds. You don’t go through your darkness alone.

I love you and care for your life. Be encouraged. Take care and allow me to sit with you as you come out of your own dark place or space.

here as best as can,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:❤