Author: Cassandra S.

Hard: You got this, Cassandra.

“You got this, Cassandra.”

“YOU GOT THIS, CASSANDRA!”

Over and over, ALL week, my trainer has been encouraging me.

Over and over, I secretly did NOT believe her. Okay, I did not believe in ME…*sigh*. I felt:

Old.

Ancient.

Decrepit.

I also felt:

Left out.

Unneeded.

Unwanted.

Can I tell you something, beloveds? Promise not to tell?…*sigh*.

I was secretly hurt I had to spend my 55th birthday alone. Yea, God was with me. I couldn’t SEE Him. Yes, mom was with me. I couldn’t HEAR her voice. Yeah, Jesus loves me. I couldn’t HOLD His Hand.

So, I have been feeling inadequate, somehow. I told myself it was okay and I had fun. I did. I WAS okay, then. Now? Thanksgiving is coming and another occasion I spend alone. Yet, not.

Soooooooooooooooo training felt like another extension of not being enough, not knowing enough, not knowing how.

Crap.

Yet, the AMAZING thing was I was also full of joy and hope and peace. How? Why? Because, I chose, I decided, on the front end I would enjoy my week I didn’t care what happened.

It’s a good thing I made the choice, BEFORE I started. All hell AND it’s friends, broke out and showed out every which way. System issues made work almost unworkable.

The bill monster jumped out of the closet trying to scare the bejeez out of me.

Vertigo decided to take me to here and yon and refused to let go. It twirls, even now.

Insomnia has come calling and keeps trying to invite grief. I told them both to kick rocks. I have thangs to do.

For those who are struggling or tired:

Be encouraged. Keep to your routine. This time will pass. It will. No, you are never the same, after a tough loss of any kind. Still, your newness can and will be fulfilling IF you choose to be.

You got this. As do I. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being you.

doing thangs together,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Pppsssst: Hey, someone post a good note. I’m hiding out from Silent Knight and Valencia. Don’t tell them I was here, okay?…*Cassandra ponders her next sneak attack.*

Good morning, Saturday.

Good morning, Saturday.

Great to see you.

Wait!

What are you doing here soooooooo early this morning?!

*mutters to self*

*pout*

*Cassandra tells Saturday to kick rocks and come back at noon*

*Cassandra heads back to bed*

Sheesh.

😴,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Getting my morning started with humor. Wait! Morning, what are you doing here soooooooo early?! Kick rocks til noon…😅

Have a great Saturday, beloveds. The week was all weeky, wasn’t it? We made it. We did the best we could, didn’t we? Let that be enough. We ARE enough. We are loved. We are NOT alone. Love someone. Starting with you.

O, yea, you may or may not find shenanigans messing with you over this next little while. I heard her conspiring with my little imp.😳

Be careful!…hhmm….*Cassandra snatches a lampshade, places it upon her head, stands upright hoping to be thought a lamp so as to tease, er, frighten, er, play with an unsuspected beloved or two…*…to be continued.

Hard: Seriously, God?

S

E

R

I

O

U

S

L

L

Y

!!

😳🤕

Geeeeeeeeeeeeez!

*Cassandra looks at her AGAIN malfunctioning work equipment and considers all kinds of possibilities in the way of mayhem upon said malfunctioning work equipment.*

Welllllllllll…

Hhmmm.

Seriously, God, I KNOW You said You would not give us more than we can bear…

Um, so like, um, my Wonder Woman cape and lasso is in the shop, God. Um, can You kinda lighten a sista’s load, a bit? I miss mom. Work is impossible. My health acting a fool. My finances told me to kick rocks and do the best I can.

The Universe said It had nothing, when I asked what the what the??!

Seriously, God? I know this is shaping me but Egads!

Okay. Okay. I don’t understand. I don’t know why hard being so hard. I will:

Try.

Live.

Love.

Thanks, God. For…

Everything.

living even when it’s hard,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep going. Even when it’s hard. Goodness these mom less days have been hard this year. Tough times come. Tough times pass. Most folk give up before the battle has been won. Stay in the fight. Laugh. Cry. Rinse. Repeat.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU

I know.

Me: It’s hard.

God: I know.

Me: It hurts.

The Universe: I know.

Me: This hurts.

Life: I know.

It’s hard. It hurts. THIS hurts!!

Me: I know.

ow,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: For anyone who has lost loved ones, the holidays are often bittersweet. They are:

Hard.

Nostalgic.

Hard.

Wistful.

Hard.

Noisy.

Hard.

Joyful kinda sorta maybe almost.

Hard.

Be encouraged. Be kind to your heart. Be mindful of your feels being extra needy and feely. Do NOT dismiss your feels, or you, during this time.

It’s hard. I know. It hurts. I know. God knows. He understands. Doesn’t make the hurt, hurt less. Doesn’t make the sad, less sad. Doesn’t make the lonely, less lonely. There IS comfort. Be encouraged.

While the hard is hard, be good to you. Stay away from comfort eating and alcohol to distract you. Do healthy things such as taking a walk, getting fresh air, talking with a friend, making new friends, playing, going to a movie, reading a book, going to church, yakking with God, yelling at God for…*shrug*…you’ll find something to fuss with Him about. I hollered at Him, gently, for taking my mama.

Be good to you. Be encouraged. Take things slow during the holiday season. I allow my heart to be sad. I don’t wallow there. I move on and get on with my life. Right now, life is a bit sad missing mom…*sigh*.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU

Heart ♥ check Friday.

It’s Friday!

Again!

Whewwwwwwwww!

We made it!!

Just barely, in some cases, I suspect.

No matter.

Whatever!

Breathe.

Rejoice.

Rest.

What about tomorrow?

What about it?

Enjoy your today. Stop being so greedy. 😂

How is YOUR ♥ heart? Yea, yours. I know. I know. You are not used to considering you. Too busy assisting the world. Rest now. Your turn for:

Healing.

Care.

Love.

Joy.

Put down the dukes. Battle done. Open your arms and receive all the love you have won!

Receive. Give. Rinse. Repeat. Ah, beloveds, we got this…

loving me for me,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Take some of your Friday just to love on some you. Then, scrape up some courage and love someone you thought you could not. Love the one who has gotten on your LAST nerve. Go on now. Folk are hurting and lonely.

Battle cry: This calls for a…

Tough day.

Tough week.

Only ONE thing can ease this day!

Water balloon fight!!

Cassandra advises all old-bies to get the newbies!!

Hehe.

Cassandra sneaks up on Silent Night and Valencia lobbing water 🎈 balloons in their direction. Ha!

Run, Britta! Reinforcements people.

Cassandra dives over the nearest 🛋 couch.

awaiting the next move,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Don’t make me play by myself. Post your dastardly deeds in the reply field. Grab a friend and let’s have some fun.

WATER 🎈 BALLLLLOOOONNNN FIGHT!!

Hard: Okay really?!

Okay….

O….

…kay?!

Hhmm.

*pout*

*Cassandra stares at the letter that was certified and certifiably hard to read/stomach.*

Fresh what on earth and what the what the?!!

Whew!

Those and many thoughts crossed my mind upon receiving hard news on top of the hard day!

Okay, really, Universe?

Okay, REALLY, God?

Okkkkaaaaaaaay, reallllllllly, Life?

So what?!

Ha!

Life is short, beloveds. Keep it moving. Despite, in spite, because of, who cares how, who cares why.

No excuses.

You are alone.

So what?

You wish you were alone.

So what?

He did.

She wouldn’t.

So what?

Enough. No more excuses, okay?

Okay.

*Cassandra turns from the mirror and gets on with her life. She has thangs to do.*

doing thangs,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be encouraged. I say this every day. Do NOT allow hard to make you quit. Not ever. No never. If you must go alone, go! The Universe will reward you. If you must love all by yourself, love! God will bless you. If you must fight despite your fear, fight! Life will assist you. Remember alway, beloveds:

You are loved

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being… YOU

Tell hard ha!

Hard: I’m here.

Me: HA! Bring it. I am here!

*Cassandra has some hard for breakfast and keeps it moving.*

You better ask somebody!

Life is short.

Life is hard.

So what?

No excuse to give up or give in.

Keep your act right acting right!

We do hard for breakfast, beloveds, don’t we?

I wish I had challenged hard more. I wish I would have embraced hard more. I wish I would have laughed more at hard.

I can’t change my past. All I can do is laugh at hard now.

Ha!

Move.

I have things to do!

doing the hard thing(s),

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is hard. So what? Enjoy it…

When hard is just too hard.

God: What?

Me: Life is being just too hard, too harsh, just now.

God: So what? Keep it moving.

Me: Wow. That was harsh.

Me: God, is being a bit harsh, just now.

The Universe: So what? Keep it moving.

Me: Well, that wasn’t very nice.

Me: The Universe, was not very nice, just now.

Life: So what? That’s Life. That’s The Universe. And, He’s God. Keep it moving.

Me: I sowwy.

keeping it moving,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Training was/is ten times harder than first imagined or thunk. So what? Train I shall. When the ow hurts, a bit too much, say ow, so what and keep it moving. We got thangs to do. Don’t allow your try to head to the nearest exit and comfort spot when hard is especially hard.

Keep going. Why? Why not?

Hard: Start BEFORE you start.

When going through something hard, it’s imperative to start BEFORE you start.

Start:

Your day, on the right foot/note. I told myself I would NOT allow anything to wreck my mood.

Your mind, in the right direction. I told myself:

I can.

I will.

I’ll try.

I will/may fail.

So what?!

Your body, on the right track. I had breakfast. I hydrated. I yakked with God and commiserated with The Universe. I listened to uplifting music.

Having started BEFORE I started found my day absolutely amazing. It flew past. I laughed. I messed up. So what?

Ah.

Aha!

Keep doing the hard thing. You are only making diamonds, in your 👟 shoe, as you walk up Joy Mountain. Get on up there, beloveds. We got thangs to do!

doing thangs,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Okay, um, like, yall supposed to be out there loving on folk and doing thangs, remember? Scat. Oh, yea, love someone. Starting with you. Be encouraged.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being… YOU