Category: faith

Day 6: I give me an F.

I screamed.

I cried.

I screamed AND cried.

I cried AND screamed.

And that was all BEFORE the tornado.

🤣😁

Just a little waiting for the lights to come on humor.

Day 6!

I must admit, beloveds, I didn’t think I would make it past Day 3. Too much 🔥 hot. Too much darkness. Too much 😩 waiting!

Waiting! That’s ALL I have been DOING, Lord!

Wait, You say.

Wait patiently, You say.

Really?

REALLLY?!

In THIS?

God: Especially this.

Me: K.

waiting patiently sorta,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Waiting patiently. I know. I don’t care for veggies either but we must eat them as well. Geeeeez. Be encouraged. We can do this. I think. He knows.😁🤣🥰❤️‍🩹♥️

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Recovery: Everything WILL be alright.

Everything WILL be alright.

I am choosing to stand on FAITH.

Things are dire.

Yet, God is God.

I thought of starting another GoFundMe to ask for help until I can help myself. Why do that when I can’t get help from the GoFundMe I started a year ago. I feel like a damned idiot.

In any event, I REFUSE to stand on fear today. I’m going to continue to encourage you, beloveds, to keep going.

No matter what.

I don’t know why God has been soooooooooo silent after this terrifyingly loud tornado 🌪.

I DO know this:

I am loved.

I am NOT alone.

Be encouraged, beloveds. Don’t let your circumstances scare you away from believing. Tell Reality to shut it(up). Keep pursuing your dreams.

Keep reaching out for love.

Above all, if anyone knows a good hedge fund person, have them hook a sista up. Tell them Ms. C IS an awesome person. Someone go viral on Tik Tok or something for me.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: When you are between a rock and a hard place, be sure to take your joy with you. Also, sprinkle in some laughs.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I need a miracle.

I need a miracle.

Friday is the last day they are paying for us not able to work because of the tornado event.

We have to find alternate place to work from home that is not a hotel.

I am here alone.

The approved states do not include anyone I know.

I can’t afford a ham sandwich right now or funds to move across the street.

Thoughts, God?

Asking for me now,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I am.

I am.

I am:

More than a writer.

More than what I give.

More than what I know.

And, so, beloveds, are you.

I am.

I am:

Enough.

More than enough.

More than a conqueror.

And, so, beloveds, are you.

I am.

I am:

Me.

Unique.

Uniquely me.

And, so, beloveds, are you.

I am.

I am!

And, so, beloveds, are you.

Ah.

Aha!

🥰

being me,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: You are amazing! You are infinitely loved! You are fearfully and wonderfully made(the Bible says). You are incredible! You are!🥰❤️‍🩹♥️

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Day 4: Alone with my thoughts: Dear God why?!😳

Alone.

With MY thoughts??!!

Dear God!

Why?!!!

Don’t You know I have an ENDLESS supply of random dumbness?!!!

Who shall rescue me from ME!?

Geeeeeeez.

Hmmm…

*Cassandra scrounges around in her random dumbness bag and sees all types of goodies she can get into*

thinking randomly dumb things whilst waiting for the lights to come on,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Day who cares…*pout*. Hang in there, beloveds. Make sure to laugh today. No need in pouting over whatever you are pouting and fretting over. Someone have a cup of coffee for me. Asking for a friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

❤️‍🩹😥

❤️‍🩹😥

Nuff said.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: *sigh*. I tried to call a counselor we can access via work…*sigh*. I have to finish setting up account ONLINE before I can make an appointment. Just got notice Hotspot speed being turned down. Can barely view anything while waiting for internet. 😭

I’m NOT okay, beloveds. I have turned into a fine actor as I let fam and friends know ‘It’s not THAT bad’ so they won’t feel too bad for me.

Am listening to Leona Lewis  ‘Footsteps In The Sand and crying. Not sure why the tears. The lights are on but still feels the same as when the lights went off.

God, what do I  DO with ME, now? Asking for a friend.

Br encouraged, beloveds. Keep reaching out if you need a friend or support. Relationships take tending and outreach. Practice with me if need be.

Yesterday, I was watching a 25 year old who did a YouTube video where she shared she was lonely and never had a friend. I hurt for her and all those who are feeling alone and unloved. I love you, beloveds, if that means anything. ❤️‍🩹♥️

Things are NOT hopeless. The way is just hard. That’s okay. We are just making diamonds in our shoes as we walk up Joy Mountain. Keep going.


One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Day 4: You will figure it out when you need to figure it out.

Day 4.

Day 4!!

Whew!

Me and the heat have been boxing 🥊 for four days. The winner has yet to be determined. Tell that to my gasping, heaving, half naked Buddha self. 🥰🤣😂

I am figuring things out. I have alloted myself 10 percent daily of my writing phone so I can listen to music and prepare pieces.

At midnight,  the dark was so dark I wanted music for company. Battery 🔋 told me I had already used my ten percent for the day and had to wait for tomorrow.

Sssssshhhhheeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuutt!

I have my work chair situated in front or the air conditioner that does not work so I can coax a bit or breeze from the wind who is currently saying no way to that.

Sssssshhhhheeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuutt!

I have been rereading ‘The Master Stroke’ by Elizabeth Gage. An EXCELLENT read!🥰 I am reading 📖 it slowly. Savoring EVERY page.

I have been wanting to get back into reading. I stopped reading after mom died. I can’t even tell you or me why that has been.

Last year, I began to restock my library. I didn’t start reading. Too busy. Too tired. Too don’t ask me…*shrug*

In darkness, I contemplated what I would do when the lights came on. I decided to keep living, in the darkness. I took God with me.

Now, as I await the return of lights and ‘normal’, I bring ‘normal’ into THIS darkness. I write. I sing. I pray. I 😂 laugh. I talk to God about THE dumbest things. Like I have ALWAYS done.🥰🤣

Keep on living, beloveds, no matter what happens. Life is short. Life is good. Even when it’s hot, dark, and no idea what comes next.

being about it,


Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Lift up your head. You matter. Ah, beloveds, get on out there and live! Open your heart. Speak your truth. Be. Do. Laugh. Launch out. You can do this thing called life. You can. Doing this with you…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Day 3: God, I can’t do another day.

Me: I can’t do another day of this. It’s hot. It’s dark. I’m alone.

God: You can. I’m right here with you.

Me: It’s hot. I’m tired.

God: I know. Tell me a story. Make it a good one! Make sure you throw some good food products in there!

Me: K. Once upon a time…

hanging in there(I 🤔 think),


Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: When life hands you ANOTHER tornado…whew!❗️🚨❤️‍🩹😳🌪

I was telling God I can NOT believe I am in the aftermath of another tornado. Hurricane Katrina was no joke. We had no power for 9 days. No water to flush the toilet. No food.

I am trying to use lessons learned, then, to help me, now.

Now and then…geeeez!

Keep using your thens to help your nows, beloveds. These times are not here to break us. What the hell they ARE for is up for debate.🤣🥰

Am in battery saving mode. It will be interesting posting these when the lights come on.

Ah, God. Hurry. I can’t do another day…


One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

God, I’m angry, but I don’t know why.

I’m angry.

I don’t know why.

Every now and then, I take a swipe at Life, at God, at myself, at…*shrug*

Change is tough. Growth can be frustrating and slow. In the meantime can be agonizing.

We want MOVEMENT DAMMIT!!🤯🤕😭😳❤️‍🩹♥️

WE WANT OUR DREAMS NOW DRAT IT ALL!

Just bring HONEST with God has helped. I have apologized to Him ten times already today. I sowwy, God.😳😁🤣🥰

Be encouraged. Where you find yourself KNOW you are never alone. If you need some encouragement, reach out and let folk know.

By the by, I checked the fridge for snacks and see Maggie has eaten the last of the Oreos. How DARE she. Smh. Maggie, I thought me and you wuz people.🤣🥰

Take care of yourselves, beloveds. Your heart is much too important to be ran empty. Refresh. Get refilled. Rest. Get some fresh air.

Above all, beloveds, look beyond your present circumstances. Believe me, living through this tornado has me looking forward to try and see what I can see. Reality wants to tell me all is lost and I  am hopelessly behind.

I am NOT lost. I am in HIS Hands. How much safer can I be?

forever grateful,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: We got this…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Day 3: The generator: Whose fault is it really?

Someone managed, somehow, to get a generator.

It wasn’t me.

Shhheeeeeeeuuuuuuooooootttttt!

The sound annoyed me. Ticked me off!

Why?

Because,  I could imagine folk who were being cooled, who had lights and enjoying near normal whilst I was swearing, er, sweating terribly, in the dark.

Fresh hell!!!

I got angry at God. HIS fault I didn’t have one!

Never mind He had been reminding me for months to research options for when lights may go out as it storms so frequently that lights going out are a when and not if.

Yea, beloveds, I was in the middle of a great debate about how God SHOULD have done this, that and the other thing.

God calmly countered He HAD asked ME to do the this, that and the other thing which would have, at the very least, kept me with a charged phone!

My bad, God. I sowwy.

Often, whilst things are still and quiet, God will ask us to do some seemingly strange things which can and does prepare us for bumpy roads ahead. It’s up to us to listen.

Now, I am not angry at my neighbors. I am grateful they have a bit of normal. My normal will never be normal, as it was…*sigh*.

I am using my time to prepare my chicklets for this new normal. Life changes. Life will change us if we let it. I plan on the change being permanently optimistic.

I am going to keep on living as best as I can.

I am going to keep on loving folk.

I AM GOING TO LOOK INTO GENERATOR OPTIONS!🤣🥲🤣

grateful/thankful for life,


Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Don’t beat yourself if you find yourself unprepared. Do what you can, now. Move forward, now. No need lamenting about what you didn’t do. Do. Now. Love someone. Starting with you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!