Category: faith

(Algo)rythm: Willing to be led. By me.

Everyone wants to lead. Most everyone, it seems.

Few seem to want to follow. Why I think it terribly sad how many folks are actually allowing themselves to be led, simply by following a/the crowd.

I have been working, desperately,  to move at my own rhythm. Because, I want to move. Where I want to move. How I want to move.

Not because I have programmed to move hither and yon based upon duty or ancestry or a billion other ‘rys

There are days my movements are clumsy. I’m not used to going wherever I want to go, just because I want to go there.

For 50 years, I had moved because I was told to. I quieted down because I was told to, so I could survive. I kept my head down because I was told to. In order to survive.

I did NOT try this, because I was told not to, so I would survive. I DID do that, because I was told to, to survive.

I fed the all work and no play machine, because I was told I had to, to survive.

Enough survival already, my soul screamed to me!

Enough!!

My heart, my soul, ALL that was within me, screamed to live.

I was ready to LIVE, dammit.

Yes, mom died. Yet, I had NOT. Why,…hhmm.

I find myself thinking of mom, lately. The more freedom I have gotten, over the last five years, the more I want to live and grow.

I used to say I didn’t want to experience new things because I couldn’t do them with mom.

Now? Even though she’s gone, she will ALWAYS be with me. In my memories. With every cup of coffee. With every heated argument with the television over some ridiculous some such or other.

I have been thinking about the tornado. A lot. Not much choice given the awful weather, of late.

I think on it with gratitude now. I am sooooooooooo grateful.

Never for the terror surviving it. I am grateful for all the AFTER. I’m grateful for every tear as I fought my way past fear, doubt, more fear, more doubt, dread and ALL of it’s friends as I worked my way back to normal.

I have learned there will never be normal for me. Not again. I shall not allow it.

Never again, beloveds, will I allow myself to go back to the prison of “normal” thinking of moving because I had to. Going because I was told I must to survive.

To hell with that! Yes, I shall do what is needed to prepare for life’s upcoming storms.

Yet, I refuse to live in a world forever fearing imminent disaster or peril.

I was born a black woman. That comes with the peril of a society that has chosen to view me as less than simply because I am a sista.

I’m proud to be me. I love my big, loud, black self. Just cuz my voice is loud, does not mean I am less. Just means a sista can get super loud when she is passionate, or bored, or…*shrug*.

A sista loud, world. Deal with it. Deal with her. Or not. Your loss, world. I am an amazing woman.

EVERY day, I come in for no other reason than to let folk know I care. I love. I pray. Even for all the dummies who hate me just cuz. Smh.

I am blazing my own path. What about you?

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: You don’t have to fear walking by the beat of YOUR drum. There are times where the majority is not walking according to integrity but may be chasing fame, money and all manner of things that are meaningless in the grander scheme of things…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

(Algo)rythm: Willing to be led. By Him.

I am…

Willing to be led. By Him.

Even when I don’t understand Him.

Even when I can’t see His Hands moving in  my life.

Even as I wonder if I am being still enough to hear HIS Voice.

I’m trying best to look up and to stop looking at my age and empty bank account.

My time WILL come. I WILL make it. Some kind of way.

I trust God. Even when life is hard.

Be encouraged, beloveds. We are NOT alone.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: We got this. God has us all.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Heart ❤ check whatever day this is.

Hey there, beloveds.

I stopped by to check on your heart. How are YOU doing?

I’m saying extra prayers for us all. I must admit it has been mighty tough to keep negative tapes from playing in my mind. I REFUSE to allow that to happen.

The battle is ALWAYS fought, and won, in the mind, FIRST.

Be encouraged. Try not to stare too long at the waves. Just get on over to the other side.

In case no one has told you today: I love you.  So does He.

praying for us all,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: We CAN. We WILL.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Keep doing the boring stuff, er, stacking days.

Keep doing the boring stuff, er, stacking days.

Nuff said.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I have been sitting here, doing some incredibly tedious editing work. And, I mean boooooorrriiinnnggggg monotonous work.

Normally, I would enjoy the monotony. With a fever, the monotony is driving me up ten walls.

Still, it’s helping me take my mind off of not feeling well. Okay, it’s not but it needs to be done anywho.

I figure if I do this, now, I will save a bunch of time and be able to enjoy the fun stuff, later.

Delayed gratification. Curse words in these days and times.

I AM proud of the proverbial editorial wood I have been stacking for the last few hours. 

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Chase the victory, not the trophy, Cassandra!

God: Chase the victory, NOT the trophy.

Me: Isn’t the point of the race to win the trophy?

God: You tell me.

Me: The world says it’s ALL about the trophy. The bigger the better. What’s more, it HAS to be the first place trophy!

God: What do YOU say? What do YOU think? This is YOUR race. YOU are the one entered. Why are YOU in THIS race?

Me: Because…hhmm. I have ALWAYS been in a race. Of some sort. For someone. To get…*shrug*. It’s hard to keep track of which race I am running. It’s impossible to remember what trophy I am trying to win to earn validation from him, from her, from them. Real talk, I run, frantically, to keep up with everyone else’s running.

God: Why are they running? What have they won? In winning, what was won?

Me: The cheers of the crowd, I think. The feeling that came from hoisting the trophy, I suspect. I’m not sure. I’m too busy running everyone else’s race.

God: That being the case, chase the victory, not the trophy.

Me:

Beloveds, the game is NOT about the trophy. Get in there and compete. Do your best. Tip your cap to the winner. Even if it’s not you.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Why are you in the game? Enjoy every second of it. Most are afraid to step u to the plate. Take your swings. So what if you strike out. You don’t have to be the one hitting the home run.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Learn from as many folk as you can.

I used to be a creature of habit.

I liked things how I liked them. Exactly. The same. Over and over.

To some extent, beloveds, I will ALWAYS be a creature of habit.  Over some things. My coffee HAS to be just so. My bacon HAS to be just so crispy.

I HAVE to flop a certain way, in bed. Else, ths bed just does NOT feel right…*pout*.

I’m learning to be more adaptable with learning. I’m learning to learn from as many different type of folks as I can.

Older folk. Younger folk. Folks with accents. Folk from different countries.

True story, I used to be intimidated learning from folk from other countries. They seemed super smart and way too “over my head”. They weren’t. Once, I gave them a chance. Once I gave ME a chance.

I have learned so much just from being WILLING to learn from different sources.

I hope you are having a fantastic day. If not, turn your day around. It’s up to you, not your circumstances, the day you shall have.

Be encouraged.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: You are beautiful. 🥰🙏

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

😂

Me, during these storms.

Sometimes, beloveds, a good laugh can do wonders for a weary heart.

Be encouraged. Hang in there. Storms do pass. Eventually. Okay, God. Enough already!…hehe.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Don’t get scarred by the hard.

We are NOT the hard times we go/grow through, beloveds.

Hare times do NOT force us to become hard, angry and bitter because of what we have gone through.

WE make the choice to become bitter, better, or unbothered by hard times.

I am learning  in real time, that I am the one who chooses to focus on the waves. I am the one who chooses to see/visualize the upcoming shore.

I am the one who chooses to reach out when the toad is especially long, hot and unwieldy.

I am the one to blame myself for not being up to the tests.

I am the one who chooses to give myself extra selfcare and understanding as I make my way through so many storms and hard times.

I have given myself permission to breathe for the rest of this month. Just to breathe. No fretting over or looking for a job. No channel starting. No desperately seeking what in the fresh hell to DO now.

I am just going to breathe. And, enjoy this blog. And, enjoy some coffee. And. Enjoy watching tempura be made and wondering what the world is being happily slurped and enjoyed.

Life is short, beloveds. I just stopped round to encourage someone to keep on LIVING. Not merely existing and worrying about how to pay the grocery bills.

I have no idea what tomorrow holds. I am digging my way out, er, living today…😂

Hang in there. Things really will be okay. Have a good cry if need be. I didn’t know how badly I needed a good cry until I gave myself permission to have a nice one. Man, I cried til my eyeballs fell out. Satisfying. 😁😇😊🥰

Be encouraged.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

The last straw really isn’t the last straw.

That’s it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s what I screamed at God.

Tearfully.

Angrily.

Woefully.

Tearfully, woefully AND angrily.

These latest rounds of storms have had me at wit’s end.

Tornado 🌪 sirens blasting. Me hiding in the bathroom wondering if there will be a me, if there will be an apartment, if the damned city would still be standing.

During Easter weekend, no less. Thanks God. Reaaaaall funny. I don’t know why holidays can’t be holidays for me.

Mom died on Christmas morning. The 🌪 destroyed things on Memorial Day weekend. Now, these blasted storms visiting for Easter.

One boom was so loud…whew. Now, my modem has given up the ghost. Nada. No lights. Nothing.

So, I sit here. Modem less. Modem less, God!

That’s it! The lasssssst straw! I’m tired, God of all this damned hard!!!

I’m tired of these tests. Pass or fail me, already!!!

I quit!

I’m done! I….

*Cassandra whirls around at the tap on her shoulder. Cassandra laughs and takes the extra straws from her dreams and good habits. Cassandra gets on with getting on with it.*

Be encouraged, beloveds. Yes, these storms are something else. Yet, we faint not. Grab an extra straw from your dreams and good habits and keep it moving.

Do your best to focus on getting to the other side. Yea, these 🌊 waves ARE terrifying looking. Let’s choose to surf on them! 🏄🏄‍♀️🏊🏊‍♀️

We CAN. We WILL.

I know it’s hard not to see all the hard right now. In the meantime, keep finding the joy in your day. I made myself a cup of ☕ and watching my fave cooking shows. Right now, I’m watching upscale restaurants chefs cook steak and such in such theatrical fashion. 🥰😁

If nothing else, beloveds, reach out to someone who could use some love. It really does help when you take your mind off your own trouble and focus on supporting others. This has helped me. A smidge.

I had a satisfying crying jag on my big bro’s shoulder, via phone. There is something awfully comforting with a loud, crying jag whilst your big bro sits there feeling like an idiot.🥰😇😊

Take care.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: You’ll get through this. So will I. Keep moving FORWARD. Keep looking UP.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Keep going. Even during the storm.

Keep going.

Even during the storm.

Remain hopeful.

Even during the storm.

Stay faithful.

Even during the storm.

Storms have been raging here. Last night, ALL night. Through the morning. They have paused. Long enough for me to stop by and encourage someone who is in desperate need of respite from an awful long storm seige.

The storms are due to start again in three hours and rage for the rest of the afternoon and through til Easter tomorrow. 😳. Good egads.

I must confess that hankering down in the bathroom, with tornado sirens blasting, came mighty close to reminding me of last year’s tornado.

The anxiety I am fighting with, today, has everything to do with last year. I keep reminding myself this is NOT last year. Tell that to my terrified soul last night.

Storms pass. They are not personal. They are doing their job. Our job, beloveds, is to continue standing on FAITH when storms show up.

Yea, they can be mighty loud and scary. Yes, they can be capricious and cause awful damage to some, whilst sparing others.

I don’t know why hard has to be so flipping hard. I DO know hard is doing it’s job in revealing the character inside.

Be encouraged. Do what you can to prepare. Survive. Keep it moving.

Also, reach out for support when going through hard times. We need one another. I have been reaching out to family and friends and letting folk know I am struggling alone.

Struggles don’t last always. Be sure to find the joy in your day. I am fixing to have a bowl of Golden Grahams and a yak with God to let Him know I feel soooooooo alone and tiny, at the moment.

Be encouraged, beloveds. We are loved and not alone.

thankful in the midst of the storms,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be encouraged.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!