Category: faith

Move: In any direction.

It’s time to move, beloveds.

In any direction.

Time to stop taking stock.

Time to move.

In ANY direction.

If the step is a wrong one, Life shall redirect you.

If the step is the right one, The Universe shall cheer you forward.

If the step be an awkward one, God shall laugh with you and move forward WITH you.

Move, beloveds.

In any direction.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is waiting for you, beloveds. You do NOT have to wait for disaster to strike before you take a leap of faith. I have taken many. Just not in the one truly needed to change my financial future. I have been allowing ‘just enough’ to keep me from seeking the amazing.

This stupid tornado forced me to make the decision to continue to burn myself out, whilst earning nowhere near enough. Or, to choose me and bet on my try and God’s Ability to help me make an amazing successful future for ME. Whilst encouraging others.

Months before the tornado happened, God began asking me some tough questions. I started writing many pieces, on these tough questions. They are still waiting for me to finish. I have been stalking them, slowly. Sneakingly. Worryingly. Pensively. Wonderingly.

Why? Because many of the answers, I fear, are answers I am going to fear hearing. After hearing, you see, action may be needed. I won’t have excuses, once questions have been answered. Now I can say “I didn’t know”.

I am ready to start answering His Questions. You shall be witness to my foolishness. Or growth. Or tantrums. Or all of the above.

In the meantime, move. In any direction. Take fear with you if you must. Just go. Life is waiting for you. The Universe is waiting to help you. There are oodles of folk out there who have been waiting all their lives to meet and love you. Get going now. What you still doing here? Since you are, let’s have a cup of coffee.

In case no one has told you: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Forgive yourself, God said to me.

God: Forgive yourself.

Me: I find it hard.

God: Why?

Me: I feel as if I gave EVERYTHING away. Now, there is nothing left. When I need it.

God: Do you regret giving EVERYTHING?

Me: Of course not.

God: Why do you judge you so harshly then?

Me: Because, my coffers are empty when I am in deep need.

God: Have I not taken your coffers into account?

Me: I think so.

God: Ah. You THINK so. Do you think or do you BELIEVE?

Me: I choose to believe.

God: Believe then. Forgive yourself for that which requires no forgiveness. Not by Me, anyway.

Me: K.

I did NOT want to keep my writing promise. Not today. I wanted to wallow, just a smidge, in a tad bit of self-pity. Don’t I have the RIGHT to be pitiful, I want to rage at The Universe?!!

A flipping tornado, TWO IN FACT, showed up, OUT OF NOWHERE AND TORE A HOLE IN MY LIFE WITHOUT A DAMNED HEADS UP AND HAVE COSTED ME MY JOB, MY PEACE OF MIND, MY SLEEP, MY SUPPOSED FRIENDS AND ASSURITY THAT MY BLASTED PRAYERS WERE DOING SOMETHING ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whew.

Now that I have had a mini rant….whew.

I have been chastising myself for days. Days!

I am fussing, with myself, for allowing my age to keep me from doing things YEARS ago. Dammit and fresh hell.

I am fussing. With God. For? Not being more forceful. Demanding I do things. Whether I was afraid or not. Okay, He has forever encouraged me. I was forever using Him as an excuse. I was ‘waiting’. On some kind of sign. Or boom. Or flame. Or some kind of SOMETHING…

To let me know which way to go.

I am fussing. With The Universe. For? For not being more forceful. In nudging me. Over the cliff of ‘just do it already’. Okay, The Universe has forever encouraged me. I was forever using The Universe as an excuse. I was ‘waiting’. On some kind of cosmic letter. Delivered to…

Show me which way to go.

I am fussing. With Life. For? For not being more forceful. In pushing me. Up. Over the mountain of ‘your dreams can be found here’. Okay, Life has forever encouraged me to just try. Something. Anything. My way.

Soooooooooooooo, I find myself in need of forgiveness. To me. For?

Being afraid? Nothing wrong with being afraid at times.

Being TOO afraid to try? We have all been there; Too afraid to move forward. Too afraid to move back. Too afraid to move. Ack.

Ah, God. Okay. I choose to forgive. Me. You. Me. You, again. Me. Me. The Universe. Life. Me. You. Everybody. Geeeeeeez, God, this forgiveness business can be exhausting.

forgiving myself,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is short, beloveds. Much too short to keep pounding yourself over things you were too afraid to do and try. You did the best you could, with what you had.

Be encouraged. Pick up the pieces. Make new pieces. Dust off old pieces. Begin again. And, again. And, again. As many times as required. As long as you have breath, you still have time.

You got this. As do and. What’s more, God has us all. You CAN. You WILL. Believing in you for A Friend…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Putting in my application(s) to The Universe.

I have been sitting here. Quietly. Praying.

Then, I found myself talking to The Universe. About what I wanted to DO. With my life.

I told The Universe that I do NOT want to spend another second pursuing anything other than encouraging folk to keep going. Not another second.

After the tornado, I found myself in darkness. It was hot. I was hungry. All the food was ruined. There was no air. There was no power.

I felt helpless. I felt hopeless. Still, ALL I thought of was how soon I could get back to encouraging folk.

My phone had no battery life. My laptop had long since ran out of power. EVERYTHING I had that had power was long used up.

Still, I wondered what I could DO, when the lights came on.

The lights came on. I wonder, now, what I can DO. I feel helpless. I feel powerless. I have nothing. Save my words. Save me. Me is all I have ever had. Doesn’t seem enough. Not now.

Will it ever? Will I ever? Matter? I hope so. I pray so.

I am betting on me. Finally. So, I find myself putting in applications to The Universe. I am sending cover letters of what I hope to bring to the world. I am selling my skills, my try, my want to, my have to.

I am letting The Universe know of all I hope to give, to plan and to do in what time I have left here.

Ah, Universe. Open the door(s) for me. Allow me to spend ALL my day(s) letting folk know how truly special they are. Oh, Universe, expand yourself so I can reach in/up/down/through so I can help make and pave the way for others who seek to do the same as me. Ow, Universe. Your slowness is breaking my heart. Let this be my time.

asking for a friend(me),

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Let The Universe know what you want. You don’t get what you don’t ask for…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Uprooted: You shall have your fruit.

I have felt useless today.

Rootless.

Fruitless.

I cried.

I told God it feels like everything I have planted has been for nought.

I don’t SEE the fruits of my labors.

My bank account is empty.

My love tank is empty.

I give out on the daily.

Not a lot returned.

I told God that encouraging the world, on the daily, is NOT paying the bills.

He is silent. Except to say to keep encouraging folk.

Geeeeeeeeeez.

I stopped by to encourage you to keep going. Your efforts SHALL bear fruit. Maybe not the fruit you were expecting or hoping for.

Yet, it SHALL be life-giving. It shall be life-affirming.

For who(m)?

Ah.

Aha!

Great question.

Keep doing you. Keep being you. The rest shall come out in the wash.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: My me just doesn’t feel enough lately…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

DO something.

When you are feeling afraid.

DO something.

When you are feeling lonely.

Do SOMETHING.

When you are tired of the same old, same old.

DO SOMETHING!

Nuff said.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Okay, so what the world are you DOING here? You supposed to be out there living life and DOING thangs. Get to it. Asking for A Friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I give my all.

I give my all.

Not knowing, if my all, will be enough.

I give my all.

Not knowing, if my all, will be selected, at all.

I give my all.

Not knowing, if my all, will satisfy, all or at all.

I give my all.

Not knowing.

If my all:

Will satisfy.

Satisfies.

All.

If, at all.

giving my all,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Only those who have truly given their all, and have found their all wanting, seemingly, will understand this piece.

If this is you, be encouraged. Your all WAS, IS, and ever shall be enough. As are you. Be encouraged. In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Living with new normal.

Fresh hell.

Ack.

Dammit.

Seems like I spend EVERY day muttering and uttering these words. Here. In my normal. My new normal. This new normal sucks!! I hate it. I hate this.

I hate the not knowing.

I hate the standstill.

I hate not having a job.

I hate that I don’t hate not having a job.

I hate my hesitancy.

I hate my whining.

I hate my complaining.

I am hating everything but the main thing I am REALLY hating:

Ah, beloveds, I am beating up on me because I gave my all to a job that only gave me a paycheck. I thought it ought give me more. Tough to swallow. Much needed, though.

This was on me placing my everything, for almost 15 years, into a job that viewed me as a replaceable thing.

That’s what jobs do. Simple as that. This is also why God implores us to set our hearts on things that are eternal, that lasts, that fulfills.

Us folk stubbornly, stupidly(if you ask me), put our faith in making money in order to make us ‘secure’, ‘necessary’, indispensable’ and on and on.

We already ARE those things. Life has to punch us dead in the mouth before some of us wake up to see this. It took a tornado for me.

Uncle! You win, Life.

I am beginning to see, faintly, how much more I am than what I have done. I tell folk this on the regular. I find I am in need of hearing this for ME.

I was hollering at God, just a bit ago, that my encouraging the world is NOT paying my damned rent! When folks get their encouragement, they find no need for ME!

Ouch. Truth, though. Still, God made me His Encourager. Ask me what the hell for and I won’t be able to tell you. I just know I am. So I do. So I shall.

EVEN IF ENCOURAGING THE WHOLE OF THE DAMNED WORLD IS NOT PAYING MY RENT AND I HAVE NO JOB AND THE DAMNED TORNADO TORE UP MY TOWN AND I AM 55 YEARS OLD AND HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THE HELL TO TURN OR WHO TO TURN TO OR WHAT IN THE FRESH HELL I AM SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS NEW NORMAL I CAN’T STAND!!!!

Ah, beloveds. Pay me no mind. New normal has moved in and I am pouting at where she is putting the furniture. I liked things the way they were. She says no. Says I have been in a rut it took a blasted tornado to shake me out of.

True that. Ow. New normal could give two hoots about hurting my feels.

Be encouraged, beloveds. Even in your new normal. Especially in your new normal. Cut yourself some slack. The unknown is awfully loud with its huge megaphone.

I have no idea what’s next. I DO know what I am going to DO next:

Rejoice.

Hope.

Laugh.

Love.

Wait.

Patiently.

What about you?

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is not fair. So what? You got thangs to do. Get out of bed. Take out the trash. Fuss with God. If you must. Just stop with the Superman cape. Asking for Your Friend.

Be encouraged. Be good to you. You have done and are doing all you know. This is enough. The results are not up to us. We have time to do what needs done. As for the rest…*shrug*

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Keep asking.

Real talk, beloveds.

I have wanted to stop.

Asking.

Hoping.

Believing.

Asking, hoping and believing takes a llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooot of work. Particularly, when hard is being especially hard.

What do I DO when I get to feeling this way? After some admitted pouting, I get back after it. I ask. I hope. I believe. Life is much too short to do otherwise.

Yea, I could take the pity party route. Only leads to more waiting and heartache.

Yea, I could do as most do and blame the entirety of the world for my present mess.

Yet, I choose. To ask. To hope. To believe. I got thangs to do.

As do you.

It’s okay to get discouraged. Perfectly fine to pout, just a smidge, at disappointment. Do what you need to then get up and get going. You got thangs to do.

doing thangs despite the heartache,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Unless you are here to pass out snacks, you should be out there doing thangs, living your life, rejoicing in the wonders to come and encouraging some other folk to hang in there. In case no one has told you yet today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Keeping my promise to me.

I don’t feel well.

ALL I want to do is to remain in bed. Moaning. Feeling sorry for myself.

I am terribly annoying when not feeling well. I stomp about. Fussing. Fretting. Sighing. I do lots and lots of sighing. Dramatically.

Anywho, in the midst of my dramatic sighing, good habits reminded me it was time to get up and get some pieces written.

GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZ!

So, I am keeping my promise to myself. I have promised myself a treat of a nice cold glass of orange juice and maybe a cracker or two or twelve.

I just stopped by to let you know you were loved and not alone. I just wanted to let you know you are seen, heard and loved. You are cherished. You are so many things not given much credit for.

Okay, now I have done my due diligence, I have a cup of juice waiting for me. Someone be nice and spread some cheer around here. Last one out turn out the lights. Hopefully, someone shall leave some nice treats for me. Hint…lol.

asking for great blessings for you and yours,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep on keeping those promises you have made to yourself. You can’t help what others do. All you can do is to keep on being good to you. You SHALL be rewarded. I promise. How do I know? Cuz He said so and God ain’t no liar. Be encouraged. Be blessed this day.

Please, please, please stop worrying about bills, how you will do this, how you will make this and make this day an amazing one. Enjoy your moments. Make some hilarious ones. Asking for A Friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Shut the hell up, Cassandra, God said to me.

God: Shut the hell up, Cassandra.

Me: Well, that wasn’t very nice of You to say.

God: I meant for you to shut the hell up, beloved.

Me: What in the fresh hockey sticks does THAT mean?!…*pout*.

God: What have you been DOING, beloved, the past few days?

Me: Nothing. Okay, worrying, just a smidge, just a teensy weensy bit.

God: Why? What have you been focusing on?

Me: Well, reality came calling and brought all kinds of doubt with. Then, fear tagged along who ALWAYS runs with doubt. They have all been ganging up on me lately.

God: Why have you not sent them back from the hell from whence they came and reside?

Me: Welllllllllllll nowwwwwwww…..hhmm. They were making really good sense. Especially when 55 showed up and got to hooting and hollering about how vulnerable I am now. No job. NO friends. Not really. Only a few dollars in the bank. Plus I’m 55!!!!!

God: Is that ALL you have?

Me: Well….ehem. No.

God: Why didn’t you come and sit with me? Why did you not bring me your fear(s)? Have I not promised to be there for and with you?

Me: You did.

God: Do you trust me.

Me: With my life.

God: How about trusting me with your finances then? Last I checked the birds are STILL being fed. I can’t recall the last time I broke a promise to you.

Me: You haven’t.

God: Back to my original request:

Shut the hell up, Cassandra!

Me: K.

Be encouraged, beloveds. Change can be scary. The unknown can be terrifying. BUT, ONLY if are listening to utter foolishness that we are unloved and alone. HA!

Kick rocks fear. Take doubts with you. Tell reality to look up. Tell 55 to chill and take two seats. Rest, Cassandra. You CAN. You WILL.

asking for Your Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I did not want to get out of bed this morning. I got up. I did not want to take out the trash or check the mail. I’m fixing to take out the trash and check the mail. Life goes on. I plan on moving on with it. Yes, my view is tough to look at. Destruction everywhere. Yet, things WILL be rebuilt. Somehow. Some kind of way.

Once rebuilt, things shall be different. I AM different. I am learning to make my piece with my new normal. I find myself angry with it. Yet, I was terribly unsatisfied with my old normal. The old normal, however, I knew. The old normal kept me from wandering too far. The old normal kept me from dreaming too loudly.

I find my dreams shouting now.

GO!

DO!

BUILD!

I don’t know how. My dreams no longer care. They were almost wiped out in the tornado. Get going, Cassandra. Ah, God, I don’t know where to start. I don’t know HOW. Heckamiah, God. I’m scared. I’m 55. I’m alone. Yet not. Here I go, Abba. Come with me. Asking for many friends…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!