Category: faith

I’m angry. So what, God said to me.

Me: I’m angry.

God: So what are you going to DO about it?

Me: STAY angry.

God: With who?

Me: YOU for one. Life for another. Hell, I am angry with a flipping tornado. I am angry You took mom away, Christmas morning, no less. Thanks for THAT present!!! Thanks for the flipping tornado. I really deserved THAT treat, didn’t I? It sure helped me trust You more, eh?!!…*stamps foot*

Me: I’m angry, God. Angry at all these blasted tests at my blasted age!!

God: I know, beloved. What are you going to DO about being angry?

Me: Why are You asking ME? Aren’t You supposed to be Mr. Fixitall?

God: What shall I fix? I can’t bring your mom back. She is too busy cheating at cards with Jesus.

Me:…lol. She DID like to cheat. Could you make it so the tornado never happened?

God: No.

Me: Can You make it so this hard is not so damned hard?

God: No.

Me: Why?

God: Great question. Keep asking.

Me: I am bloody tired of having to answer questions and make lemonade from absolutely ridiculously hard things!…*stamps foot*

God: I know. Keep going.

Me: Why?

God: Have you not thangs to do?

Me: I do.

God: Asking for A Friend…

Me: Crapola…*pout*

I find myself angry at the whole damned world. So what. It won’t bring mom back. It won’t take the stupid tornado back. It won’t fill up an empty bank account.

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEooooot!

I told myself I was NOT going to keep my promise to myself and get on here and encourage folk. Not today, I said. I wanted to STAY angry. At least, I could control when and how long I could be angry. Dammit. So there!

I find myself dragging my mad 😡 to the keyboard. I find myself angrily swiping tears away as I encourage us all to keep moving FORWARD.

I find myself dragging my mad with me as I put on a kettle of water to make my ☕ with. I want to share my mad with mom and demand to know why in the fresh hell she left me.

I find myself wanting to climb upon The Father’s Lap so I can yell at Him a bit. I want to know where He has been as I have fought all this hard for al this long. I no longer care why things are so hard. I no longer want to be understanding that mom had to go and leave us.

Knowing why won’t bring lost things back. Knowing doesn’t make the hurt any less hurtful. Knowing why doesn’t change the circumstances.

That said, beloveds, understanding the why, can change how we view our circumstances. Our perception is everything. We can NOT afford to allow our perception to change our reality towards a hopeless bent.

I’m angry. So what? I choose to take mad with me as I try to find my way THROUGH this hard.

Be encouraged. REFUSE to allow anything to turn you into a helpless victim. Keep going. Be sure to keep digging your joy from the midst of tough tootsie roll mountain.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Only God knows how close I came to giving up. Okay, I did give up for a day and a half. I gave up on the foolish notion I wouldn’t make it out of this current hard…lol.



One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I needed this today…

I needed this today. I figured you could use it as well. Be encouraged today.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: What a loooooooooooong year this has turned out to be. Hang in there.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Do it simply because you can.

Do it because you can.

Do it because you choose to.

Don’t do it just to get something from the doing.

Everything does NOT, beloveds, have to be a transaction. We don’t always have to get something out of our giving, do we?

Nowadays, folks are choosing to be transactional over every centimeter of life. How sad. Folks have forgotten the joy of just cuz giving/doing.

There is something priceless about giving/doing for the sheer pleasure of lightening someone’s load.

I apparently don’t get to see my dream come true today. Still, I CAN encourage someone to hang in there. They may get theirs today. Who knows? Mine may sneak in under the wire.

Reach out for someone today.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Okay, so you suppose to be out in these streets encouraging someone. Start with me…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

We fight on.

It’s freezing.

I do NOT feel like being a cheerleader today.

56 did NOT want to get out of a toasty bed.

Life looked awfully anxious to get into a scrap.

My want to said “hecks naw” when I asked it to be about being about it.

Be about being about it told me to kick rocks already.

Yet…

We fight on.

Keep going…

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep going. Especially when going is the absolute LAST thing you feel like doing.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Your barrier does not have to be an obstacle.

You may find this odd, beloveds. Until just now, I have NEVER really considered my age, when considering what to do, with my life.

Not really. Yea, I would quip about it. Still, my age was just a number, in my head. In my heart, I have always been 25.

My dad used to say he was “39 and holding”. That always tickled me. I decided I would forever remain 25. Don’t ask why 25. I couldn’t tell you. 25 seemed like a youthful number.

Having turned 56 in November, I feel as far away from 25 as I always have.

Why?

I blame the tornado. That tornado shook me to the core. I still can’t fathom why I can’t yet maintain solid footing.

I have been a Christian for 35 years. Until ths tornado, I had NEVER questioned my belief in God, Himself. Not even losing my mom, Christmas morning 2016, could move my faith.

Yes, for a time, I was angry at God. I blamed Him for not healing her. I blamed Him for not making her way easier. I blamed Him just to take my anger out on someone.

This tornado, though, it roared into my yard and let me know I was little more than a speck of dust.

I’m feeling like a speck of dust. I don’t know how to move past this barrier. I’m trying hard to move forward. I am finding it difficult to move past THAT moment, so I can live in THIS moment.

How do we get past a truly devastating moment?

We have to. How do we, though? I have been wrestling with the tornado for six months now. Exhausting.

I’m doing my lover best to make sure this barrier does not turn into an obstacle. I will overcome this some kind of way. I’m still figuring out how.

I wish this current battle was already over. I fight on. Will you?

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: We fight on…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Give yourself permission to have some Twizzlers.

I know. I know. I talk about food a lot. I can’t help it. I enjoy me some food.

Secretly, I have been wanting Twizzlers. For years. I have not allowed myself to get to them. I have no idea why. I just wouldn’t buy them for myself.

This reminds me of all the things I have not allowed myself to try, have or be. If nothing else, the tornado has given me the freedom and the permission to do those. things I have not allowed myself to do before. In that way, I am grateful for the tornado. I never thought I would live to say those words. I am grateful. I have learned things I may not have learned about myself.

I have had to fight for myself in ways I probably would not have done before. I have no choice now. I looked in the face of death and realized how short life really was. With that knowledge, I can’t just sit idly by and let my dreams stay unfulfilled.

My heart will no longer allow me to sit on the sidelines. Fifty-six refuses to let me stay silent. I’m just going along for the ride.

You don’t have to wait for a tornado. You can change things now if you wish. You can start over anytime you feel the need to. You don’t have to stay in the same place. You don’t have to stay the same person. If you ready for something new, go for it. This time belongs to you. Take advantage of it. That’s all you have.

Just promise yourself you’re going to enjoy every step of the journey. Even the hard steps. Have an amazing day.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I am having a blast learning about me. Who knew I could be such a goof?

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Drag it kicking and screaming.

Fear.

Drag it kicking and screaming. Remove it from your presence. Refuse it access to your future.

Your dream.

Drag it kicking and screaming. Allow it to take hold of your present. Make certain it dominates your future.

Hope.

Drag it kicking and screaming. Be certain it swallows your existence. Refuse to remove it from your future.

The unknown can seem like such a scary place, beloveds. Drag it kicking and screaming, into your present.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: You’ll never know unless you try. Don’t be afraid to try. Be afraid, but try anyway. Life will pass either way. Wouldn’t you like to see what you can do, before life does you in? Be encouraged.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Faith can be such a tough pill to swallow.

Real talk, faith can be such a tough pill to swallow.

When God asks you to follow Him. Or, He asks you go somewhere you would rather not.

Geeeeeeeez!

I find myself in a place I would rather not be, at the moment. That said, I here as a willing participant because I chose to continue this way.

I could have made other choices. Instead, I chose to do as I was led to do. Super real talk, beloveds, I have given myself a bit of a hard time for being dumb enough to choose to go this way.

I know. I know. Christian folk are not supposed to be real enough to share how the sausage is truly made.

Apparently, we are supposed to remain calm and pious at ALL times. We are never allowed to be pissed off. Oops. We are never supposed to get mad at God for getting us in tight spots. We are not to have any emotions, other than gratitude, when we are handed a fresh basket of fresh what in the hell is this/that?!

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Repeat after me: Your time is NOW.

Repeat after me:

My time is NOW.

Now, beloveds, get up, get out and FIGHT!

For you.

For your dreams.

For your rest.

For your joy.

For all that life is waiting for YOU to seize. What the world are you waiting for!? Get going!

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: To hear the world tell it, beloveds, I may as well pack it in. Why?

I am 56.

I am a woman.

I am a BLACK woman.

I am a 56 year old, black woman…*gasp*. EVERY report has me being let go off, dispatched, dismissed, unwanted, unseen, unheard. Apparently, I ought shrivel up, shut up, shut down and go away.

The hooey with that! I have heard THAT nonsense for the whole of my existence. I am forever being told what I can’t do, where I can’t go, what I can’t have. By EVERYBODY.

To THAT, I continue to call BS. I AM:

Capable.

Able.

Loving.

Lovely.

Tenacious.

Lovable.

I SHALL continue to live a rich life. At the moment, I have a few 💵 dollars, in the bank. Right now, I live in a super dated apartment. At the present, I live alone. So what? I love my place. I enjoy my solitude. I am rich in the love of God, with the love of family, a couple friends and love of self.

I determine my value. I determine my steps. I determine my actions. I determine my try. By doing this, I make my life priceless. As do you, beloveds.

STOP wasting your life chasing the approval of others. You are NOT going to get it from most folk. Most folk have an agenda for your life. You are merely a transaction in the eyes of this world. That’s okay. Be sure the transaction is a win for both parties and keep it moving.

In the meantime, beloveds, keep living a life of integrity. Stop meeting transactions! Meet PEOPLE! LOVE people. The Universe will make sure you get what you need. Smh.

God knows I am not yet ready to return to work. Mentally, my heart is still terribly shaken from hollering, at the tops of my lungs, not to die in the bathroom, while an F4 🌪 tornado danced around the yard and neighborhood. I have not yet found the statute of limitations on when one is supposed to be over it already…😳😭😱

Believe me when I tell you that life is short. Use the time you have. I say this not to frighten you. I say these words, with love, to encourage you to get up and to try. Just try. Experience how much joy you find in the trying. Even in the hard. Be encouraged.  You CAN. You WILL.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Make disappointment your best friend.

There has been some mighty disappointing days in this year.

So much so, beloveds, I have made disappointment a friend. A friend who brings me fresh ideas and new opportunities to stand on FAITH.

I don’t enjoy disappointment. I find disappointment terribly discouraging and disappointing.

Keeping my promise to myself to use EVERYTHING for my good, I have had to be creative with feelings of disappointment.

I rename things. I reclaim ownership of other things. I ponder why. I wonder what comes next.

I dismiss thoughts of quitting. I laugh at suggestions to walk away.

I try something. Then, I try something else.

I am relentless. I am reluctant.

I am bold. I am hesitant.

I burst forward. I scurry back.

All the while, disappointment shows herself to be a considerate friend. She is consistent. She does not demand to be tended to. She waits patiently for ME to act. Or not.

What’s that? Disappointment has come calling through my empty mailbox. I was waiting on two much needed checks. Fresh hell.

I have to go tend to disappointment. If I don’t, she will make way for fear and doubt to come in. I have too many thangs to do to allow that to happen.

Be encouraged.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: When you figure out what to DO with disappointment, please let me know.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!