Me: I’m angry.
God: So what are you going to DO about it?
Me: STAY angry.
God: With who?
Me: YOU for one. Life for another. Hell, I am angry with a flipping tornado. I am angry You took mom away, Christmas morning, no less. Thanks for THAT present!!! Thanks for the flipping tornado. I really deserved THAT treat, didn’t I? It sure helped me trust You more, eh?!!…*stamps foot*
Me: I’m angry, God. Angry at all these blasted tests at my blasted age!!
God: I know, beloved. What are you going to DO about being angry?
Me: Why are You asking ME? Aren’t You supposed to be Mr. Fixitall?
God: What shall I fix? I can’t bring your mom back. She is too busy cheating at cards with Jesus.
Me:…lol. She DID like to cheat. Could you make it so the tornado never happened?
God: No.
Me: Can You make it so this hard is not so damned hard?
God: No.
Me: Why?
God: Great question. Keep asking.
Me: I am bloody tired of having to answer questions and make lemonade from absolutely ridiculously hard things!…*stamps foot*
God: I know. Keep going.
Me: Why?
God: Have you not thangs to do?
Me: I do.
God: Asking for A Friend…
Me: Crapola…*pout*
I find myself angry at the whole damned world. So what. It won’t bring mom back. It won’t take the stupid tornado back. It won’t fill up an empty bank account.
SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEooooot!
I told myself I was NOT going to keep my promise to myself and get on here and encourage folk. Not today, I said. I wanted to STAY angry. At least, I could control when and how long I could be angry. Dammit. So there!
I find myself dragging my mad 😡 to the keyboard. I find myself angrily swiping tears away as I encourage us all to keep moving FORWARD.
I find myself dragging my mad with me as I put on a kettle of water to make my ☕ with. I want to share my mad with mom and demand to know why in the fresh hell she left me.
I find myself wanting to climb upon The Father’s Lap so I can yell at Him a bit. I want to know where He has been as I have fought all this hard for al this long. I no longer care why things are so hard. I no longer want to be understanding that mom had to go and leave us.
Knowing why won’t bring lost things back. Knowing doesn’t make the hurt any less hurtful. Knowing why doesn’t change the circumstances.
That said, beloveds, understanding the why, can change how we view our circumstances. Our perception is everything. We can NOT afford to allow our perception to change our reality towards a hopeless bent.
I’m angry. So what? I choose to take mad with me as I try to find my way THROUGH this hard.
Be encouraged. REFUSE to allow anything to turn you into a helpless victim. Keep going. Be sure to keep digging your joy from the midst of tough tootsie roll mountain.
asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Only God knows how close I came to giving up. Okay, I did give up for a day and a half. I gave up on the foolish notion I wouldn’t make it out of this current hard…lol.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
- THE HAND FROM HEAVEN ✋🏾☁️🧻🤣
- COME SIT AT MY TABLE 🪑❤️🩹
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 