Category: Poetry

Give yourself permision.

Give yourself permission.

Permission to heal.

Permission to care.

Permission to FEEL.

Too often, beloveds, we do not give ourselves near enough grace. We force ourselves to work well past the cut off point. We make ourselves give until we are empty. Then, we give what we don’t have. Then, we shut off our feels to the point our hearts are hurting, exhausted and weary.

Yet, we refuse to give ourselves permission to feel, to rest, to experience and to grow.

I have been angry with myself, stupidly so, for being so shaken following the tornado. Only someone who has literally had a tornado outside their door/home will even understand what I am saying here. I am thankful most have not and pray they never will.

There is something that happens to the mind, at least to MY mind, knowing I was literally a breath away from death. I am not afraid to die. That said, when a tornado comes calling, all bets are off on the ‘I’m not afraid’ thing.

I have been trying to get my comfort back, ever since. There are days when I think I have found it. Other days, I cower beneath uncertainty. I hover next to unexpected doom/dread. I tell doom/dread to go away. They leave. They return. Rinse. Repeat.

I just stopped by, beloveds, to let someone know it really IS okay to not be okay until one is okay again. I will be okay. Soon? I don’t know. Maybe if my not being okay had not cost me my job, I would be faring better. Now, I have to fight to regain my footing, whilst trying to find another gig. The most frightening time ever.

Still, this time has been no surprise for The Universe. I WILL make it through. I just have to go through this time. One step at a time. One day at a time. Often, one second at a time.

In the meantime, I am drinking lots of coffee. I am writing. I am singing badly…*shrug*. I am doing chores. Sorta. I am trying to be kinder to me and my slow getting it together self.

This has been a beautiful time, though. I have nursed the night, until it turned back into day. I have chased the dawn until it turned into tomorrow.

I have found new parts of me. I have tossed out old parts. God has given them back…hahahaha!!

I have laughed a bit. I have cried a ton.

I have lived. I AM living. Now. Here. I’m not waiting for this or that to live. I am doing my level best to enjoy my day(s). There is a gift in those things, eh? I think so.

Right now I have mood lights blinking in agreement. I have a nice cup of coffee waiting for me to finish this piece. I spent a delish few hours commiserating with my wombie.

When I finish, I think I shall gather The Father from the curb I kicked Him to, yesterday. Yea, beloveds, I told God I was DONE praying and asking for things I have been asking for every day for the past five hundred fifty million bajillon seventeen days to NO result…lol. I sowwy, Father.

Be encouraged, beloved. Give yourself permission would you please and thanks?

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Cut yourself some slack. Remember, you are doing the best you know how. you will get to where you need to go. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with your circumstances. In the meantime, do the best you can to enjoy your day.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Mishmash.

Mom made the best mishmash. She would take whatever leftovers she could find and toss it in a pot. Half the time it looked a mess. Mishmash! Man, that mishmash was fantastic!

I have begun to do the same. I have leftovers that have to be eaten. If I ate them as originally intended, they would spoil. So, I snatched a bowl of this. I grabbed a tub of that. I combined them both and presto! Mishmash. Fabulous.

My life feels like mishmash, at the moment. This, in upheaval. That, almost gone. Mixed together they have made a ton of what in the fresh hell is this/that!??

I keep asking what the universe is going to do with this mishmash. I wish I knew. I keep asking only to be greeted with silence. The silence has gotten old. I am growing older by the day.

In the meantime, I will keep making this mishmash. I’m doing my best to make all things work together for my good. Even the hard things.

Keep making your mishmash. don’t waste time getting upset with the ingredients. Use what you have. Grow as much as you can. Go as far as you can go.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I want to tell the cheerleader to me to shut up. Unfortunately, I can’t do that. I have to keep looking up. I have to keep moving forward. Whether I feel like it or not. How boring is that? Keep on keeping on. Whether you feel like it or not. We got thangs to do.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Keep being optimistic.

Be optimistic. The glass is half full. This tough time has been teaching me to see things as half full. Life is more than a bank account. I am learning this the hard way. I have been working most of my life. I honestly don’t know how to not work.

Work had been a big part of my identity. I didn’t feel like me when I wasn’t working. I didn’t feel as if I would be chosen if I wasn’t working hard. I didn’t feel as though I would be loved if I wasn’t working myself to the bone. I didn’t think God would love me if I wasn’t forever doing his will all the time. I didn’t believe I could rest on my laurels. I had to keep giving and giving and giving and giving and giving.

I think God is keeping the work door closed so I can rest and learn that I am so much more than a job. It took almost two months before I began to rest. slowly. I still find myself wanting to go, go, go so I can pay rent to The Universe and be loved and accepted.

Choosing to stand on faith when you have nothing in sight that says things will come true…*sigh*…It’s a tough deal. I’m trying my hardest to see things as half full.

Keep seeing things as half full. You will ALWAYS be right!!

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Your faith will serve you well. Keep standing on business!

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Learning to do good for you, while being good to me.

I’m learning.

I’m learning, slowly, clumsily, frustratingly, patiently.

I’m learning, slowly, clumsily, frustratingly, patiently, world, to do good for you, while being good to me.

All my life, I have been taught/trained to do/be good to you, world, at the expense of, and/or the detriment of me.

I’m learning to do good for you, while being good to me. We can do both. We must do both.

I’m learning how to communicate more effectively. I’m trying hard to understand. I’m trying to hold myself to another standard. A standard where I choose love. Always. Whether that love is returned or not.

Today, I tried to communicate. It didn’t go very well. I tried. I can live with that. in the past, I would’ve blamed myself because the other person didn’t understand what I was trying to say. I now understand that’s not my issue. I articulated as best as I could. I was not understood. I could not understand where they were coming from. That’s okay. it happens. I will try again.

I don’t know when it became fashionable for folks to give up on one another so easily. We have to keep talking to one another. We have to keep trying to find the common ground. We have to keep being the light.

I refuse to believe that folks can’t come together in communication and love. Life is what we each make it out to be. Let’s keep loving one another. We can all do better than what we are doing currently. I believe in the best of us. I believe we can all rise above the lowest common denominator. I believe there’s more in us that wants to do right and to live right.

Make sure you are doing good for you as you help others. Be sure to keep yourself full of love. Make sure you’re taking care of that beautiful heart of yours.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Nuff said.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

If this piece encouraged you, share it with someone please/thanks.

Sing a new song.

Sing a new song.

Write a new chapter.

Clear a new path.

Try it a different way.

Routines are comforting. They are familiar. They can also get us into a rut. I’m trying new things. I am getting up at different times. I am trying new dishes. I am opening my heart up to new experiences.

I am taking the sting out of the unknown. I am welcoming the unknown as a friend. I wonder what this day shall bring to me, today?

In doing this, beloveds, I find myself racing to get to the day. I no longer dread it because of what may, perhaps, could happen. I am letting life happen. I am happening to life. I am living in the NOW. Right NOW.

This time has been precious. Priceless even. I’m trying new things. I’m allowing myself to do things in a new way.

Sing a new song. Write a new chapter. Start a new journey. It’s never too late.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: The only thing you have to lose is fear. Go for it. You can do it. You will do it.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

If this piece encouraged you, share it with someone please/thanks.

What are you filling yourself with?

What are you filling yourself with?

I spent much too much time filling my heart with gloom and doom, this week.

I don’t know why. Maybe, it’s because Thanksgiving is next week. Holidays are absolutely brutal for single folk!

Holidays are meant for only FAMILIES to enjoy. Or, that’s how all the commercials and Hallmark movies seem to say.

Families are shown baking cookies and pies and having a whale of a time. Lovers are all lovie, old couples swoon all over each other whilst enjoying their now 50 year love affair.

Whilst us single, old folk sit alone, wondering what in the fresh hell and pretending we are frolicking through fields of clover.

I am typically content for most of the year. I must admit Thanksgiving alone can be brutal. Friends with family share their vacation/holiday plans and I make sure to let them know how excited I am for them. I am.

Then, I make a big production of watching football games alone. I do enjoy the games. Thanksgiving is when I miss mom most. She loved football. We would hoot and holler while stuffing our faces with holiday eats.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I am feeling myself with goodness this week. I am being kinder to myself. I am refusing to allow myself to isolate. I’m reaching out more. I’m trying to laugh more. I’m making sure to hydrate. I’m making sure to feed myself. I’m making sure to keep pushing forward as best as I can. I’m giving myself more of a break. I’m cutting myself more slack. I’m giving myself the love I would like. I would like to receive. I’m not waiting to be loved. I’m loving myself.

Make sure you’re feeding yourself plenty of love and good things. You don’t have to wait on others to love you. Love yourself. Love will find you as you seek her!



One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Hate: Don’t fall for it.

Hate is calling for all of us.

Don’t fall for it.

Division is asking for us to join it.

Don’t be fooled by it.

Darkness is seeking to consume us.

Don’t be afraid of it.

Beloveds, we are living in a time, in a world, in a place where we, each and every one of us, are being asked/forced/demanded to choose a side on this, that and the other thing.

As for me and mine, beloveds, I choose YOU.

Some may wonder WHY I always call you all ‘beloveds’. This is because you ARE beloved to ME. To God. To The Universe. To Life.

Those that come to my blog are loved thoroughly. I don’t check for credentials. I love all who show up.

After the most recent election, black folk, black women in particular, are being advised to turn to themselves and to leave everyone else to their own devises. White folk especially.

I understand. Black women are terribly hurt/astonished/terribly saddened to see, first hand, that she was let down, again, by the majority of women. That she was let down, again, by men.

THIS black woman is going to keep on keeping on. I have thangs to do. I have weird recipes to concoct.

I have folk to encourage. I have a life to live. I have coffee to make. I have pieces to concoct. I have promises I have to keep to myself.

When I enter this blog space, beloveds, I am not looking to see if you are gay, straight, male, female, black, white, ethnic, rich, poor, working, retired, young, old or whatever category or group folk like to put themselves in.

Here, right here, you are beloved. To me. Whether you choose to see me that way is completely up to you.

I CHOOSE love.

I choose to LOVE.

I CHOOSE to stand ten toes down on FAITH and LOVE.

I REFUSE to see you as my enemy. Any of you.

For those who choose to hate me because I am a black woman…*shrug*. That’s a you problem. That’s YOUR loss. I shall continue to pray for you and keep it moving.

Life is much too short to be wasting on hate.

Love WILL ALWAYS prevail over hate and darkness.

As I say EVERY day:

Be encouraged.

Love someone. Starting with YOU. Try loving someone who doesn’t look or act lie you, would you please?

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: This is a safe space. I shall keep it that way. Come as you please. Leave when you are ready. Just know I will have a cup of coffee awaiting your return. I shall continue to pray for EVERY soul in need of love and care. No matter the vessel the soul resides in.

I shall continue to love those who hate those who look like me. They need love the most, don’t you think?

Don’t be discouraged by all this current darkness. God handles business in the dark, as well. Fear not. Oppressive folk NEED for us to be afraid of one another. Don’t waste your precious moments being afraid.

Live your life. Let light in. Keep reaching out. Make some new friends. Laugh often. Fight back hate with love. Check folk when they are acting a fool around you.

Don’t be afraid to check your family and friends. We all need to be able to tell one another to shut it when we are being hateful/harmful/ridiculous.

It’s time we all hold one another accountable to caring for one another. This does NOT mean we will always agree. Simply means we work to find common ground.

Coffee is calling. Who is with me? I welcome your response. I normally never ask for thoughts after I have written a piece. I would love to hear from you. If you would like to speak privately, shoot me an email: ttnette37@yahoo.com.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I’ll take the L.

I give myself a D- for the week. I chose to lay down on fear instead of standing, ten toes down, on FAITH…* sigh*.

I will take the L. I learned. Hopefully, I will grow from this week. If nothing else, beloveds, I am trying. That counts for something. I think…lol.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Don’t reach for anger.

Don’t reach for anger.

Reach an understanding.

Don’t seek retribution.

Seek conciliation.

Don’t reach for anger.

Reach for peace.

Don’t.

Don’t.

Don’t!!!

This, beloveds, is what I had to tell myself. Twice. First, to a Customer Service Agent who insisted he could do nothing to help me. Second, to the Customer Service Agent’s Supervisor, who initially insisted there was absolutely NOTHING that could be done.

I contemplated.

I counted to 10, in my mind.

I sighed.

Then, I asked, almost calmly, to speak with HER Supervisor.

Miraculously, she found there WAS something that could be done. She did the thing. Things will be fixed in 7 to 10 business days…*sigh*.

Then, I got on with my day. After a ten minute vent…lol.

Let anger be the last thing you think of for your situation. Leave it on the shelf. Anger does nothing but cloud the judgment and get in the way.

I’m trying my best to use productive emotions. I’m not saying we can’t ever get angry. There is plenty to be mad about. The trick is what are we going to DO about things. Anger for angers sake helps nothing.

After putting my mad to work, doing chores, I have forgotten why I was annoyed in the first place…lol.

ticked off productively,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: The older I get, the more I understand how much trouble we can allow anger to get us in. I am getting too old for shenanigans.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

You still got this!

I love this saying. You have done your best this week. Get ready to enjoy your weekend. End your Friday with gusto. Then, drag yourself into bed and do a whole lots of absolutely not much…hehe.

The Universe does NOT give out brownie points for who can run themselves into the ground harder or faster.

Keep on hanging in there. Keep moving FORWARD. Keep looking UP. You got this.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I keep telling myself I got this. Hurry, God. We need to SEE breakthrough soon. Asking for many friends…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!