Category: walking

Despair is NEVER an option.

😳

😭

🙏

🤷‍♀️

🤣

💃🎹🎸🎶🥰

I have gone through the gamut in the past hour or so trying to figure out how to pay January’s rent, there cc payments, power bill, etc with 143 dollars. 🤣

Since I couldn’t do so, beloveds, I got out of bed, turned on the lights, put on my headphones and began blaring some uplifting music.

I admit my bank account has scared the bejeez out of me.

Then, I applied for more jobs. Fingers crossed these are legit and not scam as others have been.😳🙏

I told myself I I REFUSE to despair. Despair is NOT an option.

I am 56 and have been working steadily since I was 14 or 15. I only had one job interruption due to my home care client passing away. It took 11 hairy months to find a job and I did that another 14 and a half years.

I have learned so much about ME during these past 5 months. Much of my identity was in working hard. Jimminy Cricket but it has been soooooooooooo hard reminding myself I am worthwhile whether I can pay the rent in January or not.

I am learning how to REST. It really can be difficult resting when used to working for decades.

I am learning how to listen to MY heart and give her the attention she deserves. Man, I worked the poor thing half to death. I ran her into the ground. I dismissed my needs as unimportant.

I just popped around to encourage you to look after YOU. Your needs are just as important as those you so diligently care about and care for.

And, if you are going through a particularly tough patch, do NOT allow despair to be an option.

When you have NO idea what to do, beloveds, do SOMETHING, if only a small something.

Turn on some music. Do some chores. Have a cup of coffee. Breathe. Then, tell yourself the truth:

Everything WILL be okay.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Then, try and reach out and love someone. Helping others will help you. If nothing else, it will give you the chance to stop stewing on things you can’t yet change.

Be encouraged. Come. Sing with me. Scrape your joy from the pile of hard and be encouraged.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He. Keep asking for what you need. Keep asking for what you want. Keep moving FORWARD. Keep looking UP. Things WILL get better. Have FAITH.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Hard ain’t nothing but a thang…

Life has been hard.

So what?!

I have things to do. So do you, beloveds. What are you DOING about and with your hard?

Be encouraged. You are NOT forgotten. Nor are you forsaken.

I have felt soooooooooooo forsaken. My feels are all feely.

I have gotten weary of the journey. I’m ready for a pitstop. Ready to get out of the hot car and into the Motel waiting up the road.

I’m tired of wondering “How long”. I feel like the child asking “Are we there yet?”.

I’m exhausted from living ‘in the meantime’ whilst waiting for my change to come.

Knowing this, beloveds, I am giving myself some extra slack. I am being good to myself. I have scrambled around, in my cabinets, for things to toss about in my electric skillet.

Be good to you, beloveds, as you make your way through today.

Do what you can. Then, wait. Patiently. Enjoy your day, okay?

waiting expectantly,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: You got this.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

NOTHING can defeat love.

NOTHING can defeat love.

Fear can not.

Despair will not.

Hopelessness shall not.

Fear not, beloveds. No matter what you are going through. Fear not.

Perceptions can cloud the judgement, bringing darkness to our thoughts. That darkness often paralyzes our ACTIONS.

Continue, beloveds, to MOVE FORWARD. When life lands an unexpected blow, take a breath. Then, continue to lift up your head. Tell hard ha and keep it moving.

These moments are precious. We only have today.  Embrace your today. Make some coffee. Read a book. Take a walk. Tell fear and doubt to take a hike.

We got this. Sorta, eh? 🥰😆

Don’t let hard steal your joy. Keep being and doing your why. If your why wasn’t crucial, you wouldn’t be fought as you have been!

I am fixing to have a nice cup of coffee. Sit with me as we regroup. Then, we keep pressing forward. I love you.

hopeful still,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be encouraged. Perfect love casts out fear, the bible says. Fear not. I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Today I tried.

Today I tried.

I didn’t want to.

I longed to feel the familiar envelope me.

Today I cried.

I couldn’t help it.

I cried out for the old, fearing the new.

Today I lived.

I had to.

It’s time to embrace the new, eschewing old views.

Ah.

Aha!

free,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Today was a scary day for me. It’s one of the first days, since the tornado, that I got about business and LIVED.

I was afraid. I have not driven in forever. I felt like a kid again. I kept telling myself to breathe.

I took it ALL in. I exhaled all that pent up fear. It felt good.

I conversed with strangers. Strangers conversed with me. We enjoyed one another.

I drove home and sat in my car. Satisfied. Yes, it truly hurt driving amid all the tore up trees. The drive home now is unknown. All the usual landmarks are gone. I grieved their loss. They wer more than ‘just trees’.

Beloveds, it’s okay to lament your losses. Even the losses that are necessary and beneficial for your growth. Loss STILL hurts. Don’t let folk make you feel badly for feeling badly.

After a time, the hurt didn’t hurt so much. I was able to take in the wonderful glare of the sun. I was able to enjoy the fantastic blue of a sky saying hello to one who had been so afraid to get outside after the tornado.

Today I tried. How great is that?

Keep trying, beloveds. You CAN. You WILL. In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

If this piece encouraged you, share it with someone please/thanks.

Blah blah blah…

Blah. Blah. Blah.

That’s how my try feels, today. Blah. Blah. Blah. I’m getting on my own nerves. I am annoyed thinking who the world wants/needs to be encouraged EVERY blasted day, Cassandra!?

When I get to thinking this way, I hurry up and get to encouraging someone. Someone, somewhere needs to be uplifted. That someone was me, yesterday.

Yesterday was Foreverday. Forever waiting. Forever seeking. Forever wondering where in the fresh hell are these stupid dreams of mine already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I grew discouraged. I grew anxious. Then, I grew up, got up and kept it moving. My good habits just will NOT allow me to mope for long anymore. Life is just too short.

I am super crabby because I am missing mom so much this week. I want to literally take my heart and sit it on a shelf until it stops hurting. I am tired of carrying ’round this broken heart of mine.

I am currently singing myself some old love songs. I am loving on me whilst waiting on The Universe to show up for me. Ah, God, I am missing mom…*sigh*.

How is YOUR heart, beloveds? What is your heart dreaming of? Are you giving your heart permission to dream? If not, do so. If you are, be encouraged. Your dreams shall find you.

Until then, beloveds, I hope all is well with your today.

hopeful for us all,

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I wanted to give up today. I almost did. I am angry. I am sad. I am angry at a world that has embraced hatred, misogyny and racism. As a black woman, my heart aches. As a human soul, my heart hurts. For all of us.

I hurt for those who look like me. I hurt for those who hate folk simply for looking like me. I hurt for all who can’t hear beyond their silos. I hurt for those who have closed their ears and arms.

I almost turned off my light. I yelled at The Universe. I asked what possible use my small light has done or ever has.

I thought of putting down my pen. I thought to go silent. Ha! I REFUSE to turn off my light, meager though it may be.

I REFUSE to stand on fear. I CHOOSE:

Love.

Faith.

Hope.

Joy.

I laugh, through these tears. I wade through discouragement/disappointment and look for the gifts this hard has presented.

Ah, beloveds, keep looking UP. Keep moving FORWARD. Keep shining YOUR light. You are having more of an impact than you know.

I made myself get out of bed. I made myself something to eat. I washed the dishes.

I feel as helpless as I did when mom passed away. I thought I would never be able to move past her passing. I have. I wish she were here to remind me everything really will be alright.

These times were meant to pass. Find the beauty in your moments. Life is more than world politics, even though it seems we are all doomed and consumed by it. Lies!

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Keep pushing through.

When you don’t know what to do.

Keep pushing through.

When you don’t know how

Keep pushing through.

When hard is reeeeeeaallly hard.

Keep pushing through.

You are getting there! You can make it! You got this!!

Celebrate your try. You are doing all you know. Be encouraged. You got this.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be sure to enjoy your day. Do something you enjoy. Spend some time with someone you love. Make a friend. Bring someone some coffee. So something outside your comfort zone.

Recovering from this tornado is forever forcing me outside my comfort zone.  I appreciate it but it’s awfully nerve wracking.

Promise yourself you won’t fall back on old habits when life is taking to long to give up your bounty.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

If this piece encouraged you, share it with someone please/thanks.

Your mistakes are NOT a mistake. Neither are you!

I don’t know why folk find it so difficult these days to admit to making a mistake.

We ALL make mistakes. We all take wrong turns. Nothing wrong with that. How the world will we learn unless we get lost every now and again?

Folk are no longer willing to look foolish, I guess. Nothing wrong with looking foolish as you learn and grow. How the heck else are you going to grow, beloveds, unless you make a million thousand seventeen mistakes and learn from them?

Just know as you walk through your days, making a million mistakes, that you are NOT a mistake. Your mistakes are not a mistake. They are necessary in helping to build a more knowledgeable you.

Cut yourself some slack, as you learn. Cut others some slack, as they learn and grow. I have no earthly idea when it became socially acceptable to toss folk aside when they make mistakes. Geeeeeeeeeeeeeez, people! Enough with that already!

I have only messed up about ten times so far, today. Of course, it’s not even noon…hahahahahahahahaha!!

Laugh at your mistakes and keep it moving, beloveds. You have much too many a thang to do then to beat yourself up over the learning process. Life is a journey that hopefully never ends at one particular place. That would be boring.

I am proud of my pasta concoction I made yesterday. It was/is scrumptious! So much so, I am wondering what other food catastrophe, er, dish I can conjure up.

I am hoping you are out there living, cutting up and tearing up the status quo! I am doing my best to do so.

excited about the journey ahead,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: If you are trying, you have already won the day…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

The more I have lost.

The more I have lost.

The more I have gained.

The more possessions I have lost.

The more priceless memories I have gained.

The more friends/ friendships I have lost.

The more humanity I have gained.

The more I am mocked, for the way that I love.

The more compassion I have gained.

The more I have given.

The more I have lost:

Fear.

Bondage.

Apathy.

In their place, I have gained:

Freedom.

Love.

Truth.

Beloveds, keep on being the light that you are. Yes, you may lose some things. That said, you will gain so much more than you could ever use.

Tomorrow, I  turn the page on another year. 55 years down. 55 to go! I pray that my light shall continue that I can love my brother, my sister.

Be encouraged. Don’t give up on the promise of you, beloveds. Call me foolish. I truly believe in the greatness within us all. Let’s all strive to listen to the better angels speaking to us all to do better and to be better.

I spend my birthday alone tomorrow. Yet, not. I wish…

Take care of that precious heart of yours.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I love you, beloveds. Ah, that I be loved, eh? I hope…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I found aha! on the other side of fear.

Aha!

I understand!

Finally!

AHA!💃🙌

Fear kept visiting me. EVERY day. Every frustrating day!

At first, beloveds, I was confused. I tried to dismiss it. I tried to deny it. I tried to outrun it.

I prayed. I cried. I cried and prayed. I prayed and cried.

Still, stupid fear visited every, frightening, unknown, unsettling unsettled day.

I thought the fear stemmed from not having a new job. Nope. In tracing it back, the dumb fear was with me at my old job.

The fear was there long before the tornado uprooted my life.

This fear has chased me all my life. I tried all I knew to drown out this fear. This fear made me desperate to find/experience/earn:

Approval.

Recognition.

Validation.

Love.

Safety/security.

Fear of not having these things caused me to pursue them, relentlessly. I tried to find them in:

Jobs.

Hard work.

Sports.

Writing.

Church.

Friends.

Society.

My parents divorced when I was very young. My dad used to pick us kids up on Sundays for his visitation. He had us from 1 to 5 pm.

After a while, he would come later and later. Eventually, he stopped coming. I never knew why. I just knew I sat and sat and sat. I sat on the stoop waiting.

The longer I waited, the more worthless I felt. Until, I felt no worth at all. My heart was empty of a father’s love.

The empty heart of a child, grew into the empty heart of a woman. A woman, now grow, filled with sadness and the emptiness that stemmed from a father who didn’t love her(?)

That woman, grew into one who tried everything, to make herself all things, for all people. In order to win/earn/receive:

Approval.

Recognition.

Validation.

Love.

Safety/security.

One day, God knocked on the door to her heart.

Go away, she said.

Why, The Father asked.

I don’t trust You. How can YOU love me when my father would/could not?

God: Will you trust Me enough to find out?

Me: I’m afraid.

God: I know. Will you trust Me anyway?

Me: I’m afraid You will hurt me. I’m afraid You won’t show up for me.

God: I know. Will you trust Me anyway?

Me: No.

God: I’ll come see you tomorrow. Maybe then…

Gently, He saught me. Eventually, He caught me. Eventually, He taught me.

Taught me how to love. Taught me how to love ME. Taught me that I was worth it, that I was worth it, that I was worthwhile.

Now, I spend as many days, as I can, sharing this awesome message with as many folk as I can wrap my heart around.

Tomorrow is my birthday. The day I was born. There is only ONE me. A priceless soul.

As are you, beloveds. You are precious in His sight. You are a wonder. You are wonderful. You are wonderous.

Live, KNOWING that you don’t have to spend another moment ‘paying rent’. You don’t have to apologize for being you.

Lift up your head. Open your heart. Be ready to be filled with all the love your heart can hold.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: You are worth it. You are worthwhile. You are worthy.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

If this piece encouraged you, share it with someone please/thanks.

Beat it to the sunrise.

Fear has been trying to rear its ugly head.

Reality has been encouraging me to give in to the fear.

Doubt has been lying to me about the unknown.

The Universe has been silent/observant.

All the while, I question God. All the while I question myself. All the while, I wonder if I am going to make it. Meanwhile, all is silent. Ack. Ow!

Still, I absolutely REFUSE to allow fear to manifest itself into my day, into my choices, into my heart. I beat it to the sunrise. I arise. I work on me. I am proactive. I am probative. I question my EVERY action to ensure I am walking by FAITH, in LOVE, carrying hope and laughter around with me.

Beloveds, I hate these last months have happened as they have. I hate the tornado ripped through and tore up everything in sight. I hate I am living a new normal. No, hate is NOT the word. Rather, challenging is the word I now choose.

Words are powerful. I am doing my utmost to get the word hate out of my vernacular. Words are so easy to say. We say sooooooooooooooooooo many negative things when it comes to our lives:

“I hate when I do this”.

“I could never do that”.

We have NO idea what we are capable of. Why, then, do we so easily set limitations on our try? I’m trying not to.

November has come calling. I have NO idea where January’s rent is coming from. Ah, God. I hate, er, find this situation challenging…lol.

It has been super interesting living in the MOMENT. Before, I would be flipping out by now. I would be carrying on about how I am going to make it.

I have NO idea how. I just know Who. I just know I will make it. Some kind of way. I shall continue to encourage and love folk, along the way. Some may love me back. Most probably won’t. I’m no longer lamenting those who don’t or won’t.

Life is short. I REFUSE to live anymore if it blanketed and ruled by fear.

My birthday is tomorrow. I am looking forward to what the day might bring. I am looking forward to what the future might mean.

I’m looking…

FORWARD.

UP.

WITHIN.

I got this. God has me. How much more secure could I ever be?

fearing not,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep standing on business. Keep believing in YOU.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

If this piece encouraged you, share it with someone please/thanks.