Category: walking

All I got to give is me.

All I got to give is me.

God said all He needs is me.

I told God all I got ain’t enough for Him.

God said me is more than enough for Him.

All I got to give is me, I said to The Universe.

Good thing, The Universe replied, stating me is all that has ever been asked to be seen.

Life then showed up and asked for what I had.

All I got to give is me, I stated.

Your me is more than plenty, Life exclaimed.

I’m giving me, beloveds.

It’s all I have.

As it turns out, miraculously, I am just what is called for.

So are you.

enough,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Your nothing means something to someone.

I feel like nothing today.

I feel as though my efforts have accomplished nothing.

Nothing I have tried seems to have worked.

Nothing I say has moved a thing it appears to me.

It looks as though ALL my try has done nothing but waste the time of everyone.

Except to God.

All day, He has told me that my nothing means EVERYTHING. To Him. I’m not quite sure I believe Him.

Not today.

My bank account is empty.

My inbox is empty.

My tank is empty.

My phone is silent.

My lonely is awfully loud.

I feel like nothing today.

It’s a good thing our feels are not always accurate.

My try is enough.

I am enough.

I just feel like nothing I have is worth much to most today.

Be encouraged, beloveds.

Your try is enough.

You are enough.

What you perceive to be nothing means EVERYTHING. So do you.

Your nothing means something to someone.

To me.

To God.

You are priceless. You don’t have to do a thing to be loved. Just keep on being you. Be good to you. Keep loving you. The rest will come out in the wash.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: You are more than what you do. You are more than what you have. There’s only one you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I am not strong: Here for a reason.

I should not be here.

I should not BE.

Here.

Alive.

Today.

I am here.

Alive.

Today.

Therefore, I am here for a reason. Just because I don’t know the reason doesn’t mean I can’t fulfill my purpose. I have been asking God what my purpose is for 55 years. I ‘m certain I shall be asking on my last day.

I’m making my peace with feeling like a helpless/hapless little birdie. I don’t have to feel like an eagle EVERY day, do I?

I’m doing my best to make the best of these days. I wonder why God chose to leave me behind following the tornado.

Ah, God. Why was I left here? Why was I left, here, in THESE circumstances? Why was I left, here, all alone to make my way through endless days of wondering what in the fresh hell?

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I am not strong. I am here. For a reason. Two things that are not congruous right now. Why the world would God leave a helpless/hapless birdie? Who the world can I help when I can’t help ME? How can I be of service when I have been left, gasping, from a tornado that has snatched my want to? What good am I serving now that my spirit is too broken to work just now? Asking for a friend(me).

Whilst I am figuring out me, I stopped by to remind you to hang in there. Hang in there, okay? Asking for A Friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Repeat after me: I AM enough.

Repeat after me:

I am enough.

I AM.

Enough.

Nuff said. Now, get out there and live YOUR life, beloveds. You do NOT have to keep ‘paying rent’. You do NOT have to keep emptying your wallet in order to be loved and to be seen.

You are enough. Already. Just as you are.

Yes, we grow. Yes, we improve. Still and yet, we are enough. We are.

Stop wasting your life chasing behind folk who only see you for what you can give and do for them. This world is full of those who will love, desire and care for you just for YOU. As you are. Right now.

Be encouraged, beloveds. You are NOT an accident. God did NOT make a mistake. The Universe was not crazy in believing in you. Life has been incredibly tough on you just to get you to fighting FOR you.

Repeat after me:

I AM enough.

Life is short. Time for you to start doing those ridiculous things God and Life has been asking you to do. Yea, those truly dumb things that don’t appear to have a whole lot of cash waiting at the end of that rainbow. Go, still. You will be rewarded for beyond monetary blessings you seek.

I am flat broke. Busted. Disgusted. Happy. Joyful. Hopeful.

There is love out there for me. Until love shows up, I am showing up for others. To love them. To encourage them. To pray for them. To fight for them.

What do I look for in exchange? Nothing. Yes, it would and will be nice should said given love be given back to me. Yet, I love just because there are billions of hearts needing to be loved.

Help me, beloveds. Love someone. Starting with you. Move on to those around you. Folk are hurting with many afraid to raise their hands. They fear being ghosted. They have been ghosted. Being ignored, when one shows their heart, is terribly embarrassing and hurtful. I know. I have a billion of those tshirts in my closet.

Still, I love. Why? Love asks me to. I am asking you to do the same.

Be encouraged.

In case no one has told you today: I love you.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: You ARE enough. Live. Stop surviving life. You got this. Now get on out there and do it. It doesn’t have to be perfect. You do NOT have to be perfect. All you need to do is try. That’s it. Allow your try to be enough. You are loved. Be encouraged this day.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

The Universe called me a liar.

There’s nothing like a natural disaster that can shake some sense into you.

Literally.

Fresh hell.

Before the tornado, I had been lying to myself. I was unhappy at work. Not happy WITH work. Just not happy because I have wanted to move on.

Except, I have been too afraid to move on. I have been afraid I wouldn’t find something else. I was afraid I would not be chosen because of my age, my race, my you can add whatever you want here.

A week ago, I was presented with a choice. No choice really. I could force myself back to work or I could choose my mental health and step away.

I chose my mental health. I stepped away. In stepping away, beloveds, I have set off a war within.

All because The Universe called me a liar. How rude!

I had convinced myself I could remain, at work, and continue to ‘fake it til I make it’. I told myself I could. I told myself I could continue to pretend I could be satisfied with what I was doing.

The Universe said:

Ha!

Liar!

Fraidy cat!

Defiant, I told The Universe to kick rocks. Then, I apologized and went about reclaiming the truth.

I’m tired. I’m ready to move forward. I’m ready to move in another direction. I just don’t know which direction to move towards.

I guess WHERE I move is not as important, beloveds, in THAT I move, eh?

I have moved. Now, I wait. I am giving myself a month just to rest and to breathe. A week in and I am ready to run away from home just to get away from this restless me. Ack!

I won’t pretend anxt has not visited me in the past few days. It has. I keep telling my anxt to take two seats and go away from me!

I am on my second cup of coffee. I think I may have a spot of tea. Who wants to join?

asking for A friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is short. Best to stop wasting time lying to ourselves about what we are truly feeling and hoping for. I am thankful I FINALLY made the decision to move. I spent more time miserable, at work then working.

Be encouraged. Move. In any direction. Just move. Your heart will whisper to you where it has been hankering to go. The Universe will let you know if you are lying to It and yourself. Get going, beloveds. You have folk who are waiting to love you. You have friendships to experience. You have boundless joy to run into. You have sooooooooooooooooooo much ahead of you. Your life is NOT over. It’s not.

The hard shall have it’s end. In the meantime, keep looking up. Keep getting out of bed. Keep being good to yourself. Keep showing care to one another. Life is hard. For all of us right now. Yikes. In case no one has told you yet today: I love you. So does He. Jesus says ‘hi’.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Uprooted: Keep taking the NEXT step, Cassandra.

I’m afraid, beloveds.

Of taking the next step.

Why?

Because lately EVERY step I have taken has seemingly led to or has been followed by utter disaster.

I have been walking on eggshells.

I have been tiptoeing around landmines.

I have been ducking hand grenades tossed by a life that is just NOT fair, of a moment.

I want to be angry about all this. Anger is too damned exhausting. It’s all I can do to talk myself out of bed just to try. Trying seems so damned trying these awfully difficult, tough days. I feel like that book. You know the one about the boy who had the very bad day….lol.

I have been trying to rest. I still have not learned how. I have been working all my life. How can a worker bee stop long enough to rest?

I am moving forward. I am taking the next step and trusting all will and shall come out as it ought. I am doing my part and allowing The Universe to keep me in line….hahahahahaha.

Keep taking the NEXT step, beloveds. Don’t worry how many it will take. Don’t fret about not knowing where The Universe is taking you. Enjoy the journey.

enjoying the journey with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep going. Asking for A Friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

BBQ cookout: Things are NOT what they seem.

Life keeps handing out baskets of nasty, er, 🍋.

I’m tired of it.

Tired of life being so darned lifery.

Craig suggested a BBQ cookout. I agree. Life is just toooooooooooo short to be cowering under the covers because life is being a big meanie.

Be encouraged. Let’s have a laugh and a cookout:

🍇🍉🥭🥩🥓🍔🥪🥘🍲🫕🥗🧂🍤🥧🍦🍡

Remember, you are not responsible for outcomes. You are not responsible for the actions and outcomes of others.

You are NOT to blame when life has turned things upside down and you have no idea which way is up.

I have declared a moratorium on being about being about it. This is a day to rest. Not wait. Just rest. The rest truly WILL come out in the wash.

In the meantime, we eat!

resting I think,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be encouraged. Yes, we sick and tired of hard. But, ALL things shall, will and do work together for our good. Don’t get mad at me for saying that. God said it. I believe it. That settles it.

In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I am not strong: My file 🗄 cabinet.

I have been unpacking my file cabinet for the past few days.

My internal cabinet.

The ‘”I’ll get to it later” cabinet where I stored ALL the hard things, troubling things, angering things, extra lifery things I did not have time to deal with, at the time.

Now, jobless, I have nothing but time to unpack, peruse and feel🗄:

Anger.🩻

Anger.🩺

And, more anger.🔬

Dammit!!

*Cassandra angrily goes through an especially angering, humiliating and costly memory 🩸 she had to take the ‘high road’ on as that’s what GOOD stewards and Christians did*

Dammit!!

*Cassandra tosses aside visons of this, that and the other of being dismissed, silenced, passed over, glossed over, gaslit, not chosen and the fifty bajillion ways life was just NOT DAMNED FAIR!!!*

Dammit!!!

*Hearing the commotion, God quietly sat next to Cassandra and handed her memories that were simply too heavy, too hard, too embarrassing, too shameful for her to look at, much less bare the weight of*🩹

*Seeing her sad, both Night and Day decided to be with her as she worked her way through her file cabinet. It was needed, you see. Her cabinet had just grown too big to leave this way. She had thangs to do. Her cabinet MUST be emptied in order for her to move forward*🪣

DDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMITTTTTTTTTT!!!

working my way still🧯,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I am not strong. Not today. I have been fighting with myself about giving myself a break from beating myself up over things not done, things left unsaid. I am upset about opportunities not taken. Vacations pushed aside so I could take care of a world that now could give two hoots about me and my jobless, broke life.

I am grateful. Now, I have nothing to hide behind. Now, I have nothing but time to face things I had promised myself I would ‘take care of’ years and years ago. No wonder I have been so soul tired lately. So much garbage and baggage locked away.

Beloveds, we were never meant to walk around with years of regrets, undealt memories and situations.

We were meant to leave them at the Cross. It’s partially what Jesus came to do: Set us free. Be there for us. It’s what The Universe is partially here for: help us to walk this earth in VICTORY. Head held up as we live a life of integrity, truth and love. It’s what God is here partially for: to walk WITH us as we choose how we are going to maneuver through the world.

This is a painful time. Yet, a joyous one. I am living. I am growing. I am healing. I am learning about me. I am learning how to extend the grace God has graciously given me, to my fellow man.

I am being given countless opportunities to choose to stand on faith and NOT fear. Ah, beloveds, I chose fear more than I care to admit. NO more.

Yes, I shall experience fear. I choose, now, to fight back. I shant ever, never, nada, nope, forgetaboutit allow fear to run my choices.

I am using this hard to empty myself of ALL things holding me back. I invite you to do the same. Life is short. Don’t leave your file cabinet sitting for too much longer. Relieve yourself of the weight that has been easily besetting you and run the race set before you. Believers will know of what I speak. As for the rest, do the best you can and keep it moving. Asking for A Friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I am not strong: Your five loaves and two fish.

I have been taking inventory.

Things sure seems awful(ly) empty.

Not many pennies in the bank.

Not much energy in the tank.

I find myself empty.

I have been emptied.

By life’s events.

All I have I have given. I tell myself it is enough.

IT is.

It’s MY loaves and fish. Given to God. To break up and make up for all the short falls. For Him to turn into miracles for myself and others. For HIM to multiply. For HIM to do with. As He please.

I have done the work.

I have done MY work.

All we are required to do, beloveds, is try. Do what we can. Where we are. With what we have.

The outcome(s) is not up to us.

Give what you have. Do what you can. Then, move forward. Onto new adventures. As for the outcome. No matter. Whatever. Let it do what it do. We got thangs to do.

I am learning to live in the moment. I love folk and keep it moving. If love is returned, fantastic. If not, God loves me. Plus, I am NOT alone.

Jobless I am. Hopeless I am NOT!

I am:

Moving forward.

Looking up.

Reaching out.

Speaking of reaching out:

How is your heart?

Are you resting?

Are you okay?

What do YOU need?

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be encouraged, beloveds. You do NOT have to be strong. Neither do I. I hear a cup of coffee calling. Craig, I have some tea for you. Who wants to join? Also, I am still waiting for some Texas BBQ….lol.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

No regrets, God said to me.

Me: If only I had done this.

God: Did you?

Me: No. If only I had tried that.

God: Did you?

Me: No. If only I had gone there.

God: Did you?

Me: No.

God: Why then are you wasting your now, lamenting about things not done then? Will doing this change your present?

Me: No.

God: NO regrets, beloved. You have done your best with what you have had. Besides, I have factored even your fear(s) into your equation. You are EXACTLY where you are supposed to be. Be encouraged.

Me: K

I have been fighting and arguing with Reality for the past two days. Since having submitted my letter of resignation. Effective immediately. Fourteen and a half years.

The Universe has been cajoling me to take the leap. God has been asking me to take the leap of faith. Life has been imploring me to take the leap of belief. In Me. In the fact that I CAN. That I WILL. If only I take the chance on me.

So, closing my eyes and opening my heart, I lept.

Where? I have NO idea. It will be interesting to find out.

finding out what’s next,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I am reflective. I was a bit anxious. Until I climbed up onto The Father’s Lap and sat with Him.

I don’t know HOW to rest. I will have to learn. I am trying to give myself a month off before jumping back into the work fray. I find myself fighting to NOT try and obtain work immediately.

Work used to be my identity. Working hard was my everything. If I was not working hard and successfully, I felt as though I was not pulling my weight. I didn’t think I mattered much if I was not doing, going, giving, giving, doing, going. Rinse. Repeat.

Now, I don’t regret doing those things. I love doing so. I have just had to learn there is sooooooooooooooo much more to me than what I have, than what I do, then where I will go or be. I am loved. Period. As are you.

Beloveds, you don’t have to wait for a tornado to blow your entire life down. You can take the time, right now, to make changes. You can take the time, right now, to ask yourself what YOU want to and CHOOSE to do with the rest of your lfe.

Beloveds, the rest of your life is passing, right now, as you read these words. Are you doing what you have longed to? If not, what in the fresh hell are you waiting for?! Let’s go!!! Asking For A Friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!