Note: Don’t be afraid to fail. Fail forward. Fail often. Rest, if you must. But keep going. Failure has much to say. Failure has much to teach you. Will you listen? Will you learn? Asking for A Friend.
I wondered how I would feel. On THIS day. With wombie gone. For the first of many times.
I thought work would be hard. It wasn’t. I ordered a joyful day. This day, having been made for me, by the Lord, as the good book says.😎
So, I scrounged up some joy.
Grief stopped by. Asked if it could stay. I said only for a brief moment. I used that time for a teensy, weensy cry. I had things to do.
Sad saw grief. Asked if it could stay, too. I said heckamiah Jeremiah to the naw. I got thangs to do. I got about doing thangs…
I talked and laughed, with my work daughter. 🥰🤗
I gabbed with fam and friends, via text.
I made the Velveeta Shells and Cheese for Christmas dinner. 🥰😎👍
I made strawberry jello for dessert. My weight said NO Cool Whip to top off said jello…*pout*.
I decided to be efficient and yak at yall, whilst the chicken breasts cooked away in the air fryer.
Happily, joyfully, I pecked away until the smell of burning(?) chicken hollered from tue kitchen…huh?
Huh?
HUH?! OMG!!
*Cassandra rushes to the kitchen, took photo of the food crime scene, and updated the dinner list to include hockey pucks, formerly known as chicken breasts. 😳🤔🤷🏿♀️
I’m satisfied. I worked a week I was CERTAIN I would never make it through. I quit 50 times, during the week. I have Christmas off. Then, have to work Friday and will have the weekend off. A fair trade. I think 😳🤣
Be encouraged, beloveds. You can do so much more than you give yourself credit for. I am learning I can as well. In real time.
Take two and a half seats, doubt!!! I doubt you can keep up with me, you big dummy!!!
Leave me be, anxiety! God told me to be anxious for NOTHING, you big stupid!!
You day IS coming stupid enemy and you KNOW who I am talking to! Jesus got the keys to death, hell and the grave, you big, stupid dummy you! I will NOT allow you to kill, to steal, or to destroy anything! I do NOT give you permission to cut up ’round here!
Me, get your whining tail up and fight!!! You getting all up in your feels, for years, and blaming everyone BUT you is the reason you have spent decades running around the mountains you keep on harping to God, to Life, and to The Universe to remove. They told you how to deal with those jokers long time ago! Get to standing on FAITH! Get to standing ten toes down on BUSINESS. Believe in YOU! You know you can do this, Cassandra! You KNOW you can move FORWARD! You blasted KNOW how to look UP. Look UP. We got thangs to do!
*Cassandra turns away from the mirror, gets her act right acting right, grabs joy and goes off for a fantastic praise party to thank God for all this hard, to thank The Universe for not allowing her to punk out, to thank Life for requiring her to fight!*
We got this, beloveds. I promise we do. Please, please, please do not allow your feels to run your show. Your feels will drive you into a ditch, will make you cower and run the other way. Your feels are looking at data that may be incomplete, incorrect and straight up wrong.
Try. Try. Try some more. And, when that does not work…..try some more, already! There is NO quit in us. There is NO permission for us to give up on ourselves, on our dreams, on our futures, on our jobs, on our families, or whatever the world is getting on your last nerves.
Been about being about it, even as you understood NONE of this current hard.
Made lemonade, instead of chucking them at your closest neighbor.
Try, when your try was TRYd out.
Gave, when you had nothing left to give( or so you thought).
Loved, though your love tank was not filled, in return.
Give yourself a smidge of credit! You are forever getting on yourself for your tiniest mistakes and missteps. Perhaps, beloveds, it’s high time for you to love on YOU, eh?
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I love me some you. Promise me, beloveds, you will do the same. Okay? ‘K? Okie Dokie?
When ALL that is within you cries out to let go of your try…
don’t!
When ALL signs point to immediate and imminent disaster and failure is begging you to allow you to drag you to the pits of despair/I can’t/I don’t know how/Staying hurts too much…
don’t!
Cry, beloveds, if you have to. Fuss at hard for being too blessed hard and too hard a time, if need be. Stomp around, if you must.
Don’t you EVER, NEVA, YOU HAD BEST NOT allow those temporary things to give you to give up on you, on your try, on your dreams, on your future.
You can DO this, beloveds. You CAN, remember? You HAVE to, remember? You are NOT alone, remember?
Today was beyond hard. I wanted to run. I wanted to quit. Literally.
I was in such a state, beloveds, I cried out to God. This is what happened:
Me:
God: What’s wrong, beloved?
Me: I literally don’t know what to DO! I don’t know HOW to do my job!! I NEED this job. It took me 17 months to find it. I feel like an IDIOT. I do NOT like feeling like an idiot!!!!!!!
God: If I am understanding correctly, your pride is hurting? You DO realize/understand training actually does involve the uncomfortable feelings of feeling like an idiot until you learn enough NOT to feel like an idiot?
Me: Well, yea. Your saying it like THAT kinda makes it hard for me to gaslight myself by advising it’s not my fault I don’t know nuffin…*sigh*. What do I DO, though? I honestly have NO idea what I am doing and ready to cry, quit, go to bed for a month, in that order.
God: Call your big bro, give him your tears, ask for some brotherly advice as he has been where you are many times. You got this. I have been looking over your shoulder all day. Didn’t you feel a lightening of the hardest parts?
Me: Come to think of it, I DID hear a whisper to hang in there before I acted too much of a fool. Hold on while I call big bro. Brb…
Me to big bro:
Big bro(listening intently): Did you so and so and such and such? Can you yet hither and yon over there and everywhere? Have you and are you doing ALL you know?
Me(Crying all over big bro shoulders): Well, yea.
Big bro: Keep doing what you are doing. Keep trying. It takes time. Give yourself the time. Do as you have been asked. Nothing more. The outcome is NOT up to you. All you are required to do is as was asked/required. I will submit your tears to God. Hang in there.
Me:
Me: I did it, God! I did the day! I didn’t quit! I refused to allow my pride, my embarrassment, my feels to run the show. How great is that?!
God: That is fantastic, beloved. Remember, these trials are NOT here to trip you up. Life happens. To everyone. These fiery trials are meant to continue to bring out the diamond already in you. They are meant to teach you that you CAN make it. They are there to SHOW you, in REAL TIME, that you CAN take it. IF, you trust. IF, you keep on keeping on. IF, you continue to move FORWARD. IF, you keep telling failure/doubt/anxiety and ALL their ilk where to get off, where to land, when/where/how to kick rocks and trust ME. I promise I will NOT allow you to fail…too much…hehe.
Me: That’s cold, God. I hear You, though. I have zero plans on ending my day on THAT disastrous shift. How about a praise party? I already have Billy and Saran Gaines “Promised Land” blasting away?
God: Let’s go!!
*Cassandra gets about being about being about it with a well earned praise party. Who is joining me?
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Hang in there, beloveds. You truly CAN do so much more than you think or feel as though you can’t…hehe. I truly wanted to walk out, quit, cry, cry about quitting and walking out.
Beloveds, I am sooooooooooooooooooooo very thankful I did NOT quit. I would have been sooooooooooooo disappointed in and with me. Yes, I probably would have FELT better for all of two seconds. Until, I realized you just quit you big dummy and it took almost a year and a half to find this job and now you have to start ALL over and have to go through the same anxiety with a new job and learning new processes!!!!!! Whew, and heckemiah, Cassandra!
Be encouraged. I am showing how the sausage is truly made so folks can hang in there. There are too many folks who walk around pretending they don’t hurt, that life doesn’t hurt, that they don’t question God, that they don’t vehemently WANT to quit when hard gets ridiculously hard and at THIS time of year.
I know this has been a longer piece. Bear with me. Someone NEEDED this. Especially me. We got this, yall. We really do. I think this is giving me the courage to go back and start recording more uplifting videos in my channels. I had been sooooooooooooooooooo discouraged and secretly quit but didn’t tell anyone, especially me. I CAN. I WILL. I HAVE to. I’m going to do my utmost to do so if I am only recording uplifting videos only I see. Maybe, one day, someday, someone will happen by when they are at their wit’s end as I was today but they don’t have a brother, or know God, as I do, to get encouragement. I shall make the videos for THEM/HIM/HER. Be encouraged, beloveds. In case no one has told you today, I love you. So does He.
I turned off the alarm, intent on not doing the day.
I told intent to shut it.
I boiled eggs.
I made coffee.
Who wants some?
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Don’t allow your feels to run the show. Tell your feels to shut it and get up and get moving already. Hard will STILL be waiting for you. Remember, though, hard ain’t nothing but a word. We got this. And, if we don’t got this, we know Who does. Be encouraged.
is a friend who brings the opportunity to say goodbye.
This grief…
is opportunity to let go.
This grief…
is NOT my new normal.
This grief…
is just that: grief.
Knowing these things, I move FORWARD. Understanding these things, I look UP.
I’m in the have to stage of hard. I have to. I can’t base my try on anyone or anything else.
I just stopped by to encourage someone. Starting with me.
Be encouraged.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I didn’t think I could do today. I didn’t know HOW. Try simply asked me to try. I tried. I did. Be encouraged. We got this. And, even when WE don’t got this, He has got this.🥰🙏👍
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 