Tag: encouragement

X marks the spot: Why am I HERE?

Why am I HERE?

WHY, am I here?

Right here?

Doing this? Whatever the hell THIS currently is.

I get up. I wander around. I gather the scrapings left from the bus that ran over my face late last year.

I look at this life called me and laugh. What in the fresh hell is THIS? What, in the name of all that is holy, did God leave me HERE, at this time, at this spot, at this moment?

Crapola. God knows I enjoy a good mystery. Now, I have to stick around and find out. You got jokes, God. But, nothing is funny, at the moment. What do I DO with me now?

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I want to tell the whole world to kick rocks. I want to hide, in this pain, forever. I want this hurt to punish me for not being there, at the end, for my twin. Her last hours were spent without me there. Just like mom.

I don’t understand why life has me HERE when everything happened over THERE!

I made a promise to myself that I would encourage others at my toughest moments. Why? Because, I could not imagine how folks, with little or no hope, made it through tough times.

I see glimpses of me, mixed in with all this grief. I see smudges of sunlight and hope. I’m trying to figure out HOW to get there.

In the meantime, beloveds, I turn on the light. I make a cup of coffee. I get out of bed.

Beloveds, if you are struggling just now, get out of bed.  DO something. Anything. Take out the trash.

Whatever you do, do NOT allow yourself to stay in a dark and unproductive place.

See, loss is just testing you. Loss wants to show you, well, YOU. Loss brings out the REAL us.

Loss speaks to the heart of us. Loss asks us who/what we think we are:

Loss: How much are you worth? Who is going to love you now that I have taken everything? Has any of your efforts meant anything apart from what you can and have given?

Beloveds, we are here to provide more than a paycheck to the world. We are more than a paycheck.

At my lowest moments, sis ALWAYS encouraged me to keep trying. Sis let me know how much I meant to her and others.

I just stopped by to encourage someone who was wondering WHY they are HERE.

I don’t know your HERE. I’m sure it’s being a pain. I DO know we SHALL get past HERE. How do I know? Cuz, God has sent us over THERE. We can’t get THERE til we finish up HERE.😎🧱🎯

Be encouraged. Hang in there.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Anger said to push them(love) away. Love said no and showed up anyway.

 I keep wanting to push everyone away.

I tell myself that nobody understands. I tell myself all kinds of dumb things. I tell myself….

I think I need to tell myself to shut up, beloveds.

I refuse to allow my pride to keep love away. I have done that more than I would care to admit. Dummy me. I am trying not to be quite so dumb. I have failed. Spectacularly. It’s a good thing failure is not fatal. I think….hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

I’m trying to laugh. I have to. I ran out of Kleenex….hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

I really did run out of Kleenex. Four boxes. Smh.

I just stopped ’round to encourage folk to NOT push love away. Us humans do some silly stuff from time to time.

I wanted to give a bit of love, today. I needed some, for myself, but didn’t want to sit around waiting for love to come and find me. I am doing my best to love as many folks as will stop by. I appreciate your stopping by today.

Be encouraged. Make today amazing. Love someone. Starting with YOU.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I love me some you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

My heart still wants.

My heart still wants.

My heart still dreams.

My heart still hopes.

Crap.

wanting/hoping/dreaming still,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep going, beloveds. I have been up for hours. Hoping. Dreaming. Believing. Ah, wombie, help me through these next moments. What do I DO with all this hope when ALL seems lost? Asking for many friends.

Don’t give up, beloveds. Not just yet. We have thangs to do, remember?

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Fail as often as you can in 2026.

Fail as often as you can in 2026.

Failure contains soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many nuggets, laughter, blessings, experience, tenacity and so many other good things.

I have failed at least fifty million thousand bajillion and 17 times already. Wow. 2026 is starting with a bang.

Failure does NOT make us failures. Failure is just an interesting way of falling flat on our faces…hahahahahahahahahaahahaahahahaha!!

failing graciously(NOT!)
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Have an amazing day. I have had fun digging laughter and joy up from underneath all this failure. Goodness and gravy!

I can NOT tell you how many times I have wanted to throw in the towel and tell the entirety of the world to kick rocks! Ack. Smh.

Keep going, beloveds. If I have to, you certainly have to….

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

For such a time as THIS, beloveds.

This IS your time.

THIS is your time.

This is YOUR time.

THIS IS YOUR TIME!!

*Cassandra turns from the mirror, wipes her eyes, and begins walking FORWARD, while looking UP*

trying to figure out HOW in THIS,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: For such a time as THIS, beloveds. This is your time. What are you doing with it?

No, it may not be fair, just now. Yes, you may have been left to tote all this hard, seemingly alone.

Still, this is the one life we get. I would love to spend the day annoyed at this stupid mountain that won’t move. I don’t have time.

So, I bend down and remove a pebble. In a few minutes, I shall gather enough gumption to snatch another.

Whatcha doing with your mountain?

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Don’t dread your day. You have NO idea what has been prepared for you.

 Don’t dread your day. You have NO idea what has been prepared for you.

Nuff said.
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Enjoy your day. You have no idea what is in store for you. Whatever may come, be sure to take joy with you. Include plenty of laughter and sunshine. Sprinkle your day with thanksgiving and gratitude. Rinse and repeat.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Tiptoeing around grief.

Shhhhh!

Quiet, beloveds!

I’m trying to tiptoe around this grief. I find it hiding, in plain sight. Everywhere. Dammit, it’s everwhere!

In music.

In sleep.

In quiet times.

I find it, hidden amongst movie trailers.

It’s in every book I try to read.

SHHHHHHEEEEEEEEUUOOOOTT!

It dogs my dreams. It brings me coffee, the instant my eyes open. Heckamiah.

HOW am I supposed to live THIS way?

Oddly, amazingly, I still find things to smile about.

I enjoyed the playoff games. I enjoyed the mid game naps.

I have enjoyed quiet cups of coffee. I have enjoyed reruns of “The Good Wife”.

I have even found myself wondering what this year holds for me.

I just stopped by to encourage someone. Starting with me.

I HAD to get out of bed. I HAD to.

I HAD to turn on some praise music. I HAD to.

I HAD to turn the phone back on. I HAD to.

Be encouraged. We really DO have to keep moving FORWARD. Especially when things are especially hard.

Why? Because, we can end up allowing the darkness to swallow us whole. We ain’t got time for that, beloveds. We got thangs to do.

My big bro annoyed me telling me to get up and move. He was right.

Get up, beloveds! Move!…*sigh*.

No getting around it, these hard days have been and are the hardest yet. It’s okay to say ow.

OW!!

Still, promise yourself you will NOT:

Allow despair to run your show.

Give in to hopelessness.

Allow pity to enter for even a moment.

Give yourself room to feel. Process your feels. Then, put your feels to work loving and living and hoping and giving and as many positive ings and things that you can.

Use this time to grow. Don’t let weeds of anger or apathy or dismay to grow in your faith garden.

You got this. As do I. Just doesn’t feel like it. We just don’t know what to do with ourselves just now. That’s okay.

Be encouraged. I love me some you.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I miss her, yall.😥🤗❤

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Don’t trip. Stop overloading your circuit breakers!😳

Life has been lifing.

Hard.

Unrelenting.

Enough to make one want to take off and:

Hide.

Run.

Hide AND run.

Keep on living. Keep on lifing WITH life. Make the most of things. Make the best of the rest of it.

We got to, beloveds. We got thangs to do.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Beloveds, I honestly don’t know what thangs I am supposed to be doing, just now. My body is fighting with me. My finances are cracking up. Sleep is constantly running from me.

Still, I fight on. Okay, I stagger on. Just barely. Holy Toledo, God. What in the fresh hoohah do I DO with me now? Asking for a friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

It’s okay.

It’s okay to say stop.

It’s okay to say ow.

It’s okay to say you can’t.

It’s okay to say you can’t take another step.

It’s okay to cry.

This morning, I did all of these things. I said ow. I said “uncle”. I phoned a friend(my big bros). I reached out to work and let them know grief was louder than my try.

I’m on an LOA for 10 days. Long enough to get some sleep. ALL I have wanted to do, for the past few weeks, is to simply sleep for a few days. Just to catch my breath.

My heart told me to. My spirit told me to. My wallet said to forget about sleep and push through. My body overrode everything and everyone and stubbornly refused to take another step without rest.

I just stopped by to encourage someone to keep on reaching out. Don’t give up. Understand that hard can truly be hard and you are NOT a failure for being human.

I feel like a huge failure today. Sis would think I was being a big baby. She would have encouraged me to BE a big baby and rest. I don’t know how to without her. Crapola!

I just placed an order of grapes and cheese and going to spend the afternoon missing my twin and being okay with missing her.

We got this. Kinda. Sorta. I think…lol.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I appreciate all the care folk have shown these weeks. Doing my best to encourage and uplift best I can with a busted heart. Be encouraged. Joy IS coming for us. Until then, we are NOT alone in our darkness.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Don’t trip. Hard ain’t nothing but a word.

Stop tripping, beloveds.

Stop tripping when life cuts up, trips the circuit breaker, and stops you from doing a stupid, being stupid, running with stupid, or life is appearing to be stupid.

Life is lifing. Simple as that.

Life is NOT trying to indict you. Life, at times, gets all up in your grill to indict your:

Lack of effort.

Lack of your keeping it 100 with you.

Lack of your being 100 with God.

Lack of keeping your act right acting right.

You allowing YOUR pride to keep you from healing a wound, restoring a relationship, acting in integrity.

You allowing YOUR anger to wreck a relationship, close a door meant to stay open, open a door you KNOW ought stay shut.

Beloveds, when God/Life/The Universe puts up a stop sigh/sign, it would behoove you to:

Stop.

Look.

Listen.

Drop and roll, if need be, to put out the fire. It doesn’t matter who started it. It doesn’t matter why it got started. It’s an emergency. Put out the fire!

You do NOT have time to lament what is burning down. You have ZERO time to be angry over the destruction. Put out the stupid fire! There will be time to assess, process and hopefully not regress.

I have learned, I am learning, I am relearning to make choices, to act, to DO, to stand and act on FAITH. Not fear. Not anger. Not unbelief.

Life is what we make. Life truly is NOT fair, more often than not. That’s okay. Let life do what life does. You keep on being and doing you.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is incredibly hard just now. Folks tell me to take things a day at a time. I find the minutes excruciating, just now. If someone can help me with that I’d appreciate it.

Be encouraged. I wish I had someone to tell that to me. I am doing my best to make something of these dark days. Morning sure is taking a long time to get here, God. Not sayin. Just sayin…..

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!