(Algo)rythm: Willing to be led. By me.

Everyone wants to lead. Most everyone, it seems.

Few seem to want to follow. Why I think it terribly sad how many folks are actually allowing themselves to be led, simply by following a/the crowd.

I have been working, desperately,  to move at my own rhythm. Because, I want to move. Where I want to move. How I want to move.

Not because I have programmed to move hither and yon based upon duty or ancestry or a billion other ‘rys

There are days my movements are clumsy. I’m not used to going wherever I want to go, just because I want to go there.

For 50 years, I had moved because I was told to. I quieted down because I was told to, so I could survive. I kept my head down because I was told to. In order to survive.

I did NOT try this, because I was told not to, so I would survive. I DID do that, because I was told to, to survive.

I fed the all work and no play machine, because I was told I had to, to survive.

Enough survival already, my soul screamed to me!

Enough!!

My heart, my soul, ALL that was within me, screamed to live.

I was ready to LIVE, dammit.

Yes, mom died. Yet, I had NOT. Why,…hhmm.

I find myself thinking of mom, lately. The more freedom I have gotten, over the last five years, the more I want to live and grow.

I used to say I didn’t want to experience new things because I couldn’t do them with mom.

Now? Even though she’s gone, she will ALWAYS be with me. In my memories. With every cup of coffee. With every heated argument with the television over some ridiculous some such or other.

I have been thinking about the tornado. A lot. Not much choice given the awful weather, of late.

I think on it with gratitude now. I am sooooooooooo grateful.

Never for the terror surviving it. I am grateful for all the AFTER. I’m grateful for every tear as I fought my way past fear, doubt, more fear, more doubt, dread and ALL of it’s friends as I worked my way back to normal.

I have learned there will never be normal for me. Not again. I shall not allow it.

Never again, beloveds, will I allow myself to go back to the prison of “normal” thinking of moving because I had to. Going because I was told I must to survive.

To hell with that! Yes, I shall do what is needed to prepare for life’s upcoming storms.

Yet, I refuse to live in a world forever fearing imminent disaster or peril.

I was born a black woman. That comes with the peril of a society that has chosen to view me as less than simply because I am a sista.

I’m proud to be me. I love my big, loud, black self. Just cuz my voice is loud, does not mean I am less. Just means a sista can get super loud when she is passionate, or bored, or…*shrug*.

A sista loud, world. Deal with it. Deal with her. Or not. Your loss, world. I am an amazing woman.

EVERY day, I come in for no other reason than to let folk know I care. I love. I pray. Even for all the dummies who hate me just cuz. Smh.

I am blazing my own path. What about you?

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: You don’t have to fear walking by the beat of YOUR drum. There are times where the majority is not walking according to integrity but may be chasing fame, money and all manner of things that are meaningless in the grander scheme of things…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

• THE HAND FROM HEAVEN ✋🏾☁️🧻🤣
• COME SIT AT MY TABLE 🪑❤️‍🩹
• BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
• Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
• Still In Love