The lights went out. Turns out it was a circuit breaker that had tripped. I turned the power back on. The flip of one tiny switch.
I wish life could be that simple. It’s not. I wish I could hide from life right now. I can’t.
Right now, I’m afraid. My blood pressure is through the roof. ALL I see is a lifetime, of emptiness, without my twin. I want to scream. I keep getting well-meaning advice.
I keep being told to keep trying, keep working, keep on keeping on.
I’M TRYING TO DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I try. Every damned minute of every damned day since my twin died. I keep wanting to scream:
“She DIED yall!”
She is NOT coming back. All this talk of moving forward and moving on is too damned fast. For me, anyway.
I just stopped ’round, truly, to talk to someone who is going through a tough patch. Be encouraged. It’s okay to NOT be okay until you are okay. Then, you may backslide and find yourself a heaping helping of WTH. That’s okay. It has to be.
I have been working on a beautifully inspirational piece about God knowing sis would not make it to 2026 and would help me find my way there. To hell with all that right now, God! What in the actual heckamiah?
I’m too tired to be mad. I can’t be mad at sis. She was ready to kick it with Jesus. I don’t blame her. Fresh hell, sis. How in all that is holy, didja leave me at THIS time? Could you have, at the very least, spent a last Christmas with me? Lingered and celebrated New Year’s? Stayed around and got me til Spring…crapola.
Don’t trip, beloveds. Reach up and flip the circuit breaker. It’s what that box is for. Neatly labeled. Ready. Just waiting for life, er, the lights, to trip and go off. Don’t sweat it. Turn the lights back on.
asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Be encouraged. We can. We have to. Some kind of way. Life goes on, doesn’t it?
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
- COME SIT AT MY TABLE 🪑❤️🩹
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
- REAL TALK: DESPISE NOT SMALL BEGINNINGS, BELOVEDS.👘🦺🥾👟🥿👞🩴👢🩰👡⛑️🔌🕯️🔎🖌️🖋️📢
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 