Author: Cassandra S.

Here we go!!!!🤗🏈💃👌

Ah, beloveds!

*hugs self*

The reason, for life, is at hand…

The Superbowl!!!

YYYAAAAAAAAAAASSS!!!!

I looooooooooooove The Superbowl!!…lol.

For TRUE sports fans, NFL fans, to be exact, life begins/ends, with THE Superbowl.

Okay, this a bit of exaggeration. But, only by a smidge.😂🥰

I got my love of sports from my mom. She loved sports. 🏈 Football. Basketball 🏀. ⛳ Golf. Nascar. You name it. She loved hollering at the television about them.

Over time, I, too, joined her in yelling at said 📺 television. We commiserated over some foolishness her team or mine had committed.

Once grown, mom and I grew to calling each other:

Mom: Did you SEE what Kobe did?!!

Me: Did you SSSEEEEEEEEEEE what Tiger did??!!!!

Mom: How ’bout them Cowboys?

Me: How ’bout them Cowboys losing again?!!😳

I miss those times. I miss being able to call mom. I miss waiting on her call.

It took several years to force myself into watching sports, after mom passed away. It was just too painful…*sigh*…knowing her call would never come. I just could NOT see a world where mom and I were not yelling at the television 📺 over some sports crime that had been visited upon one of our teams.

I’m glad I forced myself back into living and enjoying sports with her, in a new way.

Now, I yak at her ALL day. Rambling about upcoming games. I prepare pregame goodies and remind her that her team is fixing to get pounded.

I start the game. I yell at said television 📺. I shout to heaven:

Me: Did you SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE that mom!😳🏈🥰❤️😆

Ah, mom!

That’s what love/joy looks like to me…

Here we go!!!

living, er, enjoying sports with mom,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is short, beloveds. Live. If you have lost loved ones and not sure how to keep going, well, just keep going. It’s hard. Impossibly so. Yet, life really does go on. It has to. WE have to.

You may have lost a cherished job. Or friend. Or…I guess the loss doesn’t matter. Loss hurts. We have to move past our losses, beloveds. I am learning how to live. Period.

Outcomes are becoming irrelevant almost. Why? Because life is just toooooooooo short!

Get out there and LIVE. Your heart deserves it. There is much love in store if you are brave enough to reach for it. If afraid, so what?! Reach for love anyway!

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

For Justin. For me.

Hey there, Justin.

Your comment snatched my heart. Stopped me in my tracks, to be honest.

I have FINALLY dragged myself out of Doritos. Oh, yea, I have not yet had the courage to admit I had dived, just a bit, back into some comfort eating.

Dammit. Crap. Fresh hell.

There are honestly days when I want to tell mom I do NOT care to have to keep caring! Crap!!

I miss mom, Justin. I miss her telling me that I can do it when I KNOW I can’t.

Your comment is a reminder why I MUST keep going. Life is short.

There are days when I have wondered if my try will EVER amount to anything. I wondered this just the other night. After a month of try and try and try and try and try and dammit try some more.

ONLY to find myself fighting with mom grief. Again. Again! Crap. Sorry, mom.

Only yesterday, and again today, I felt inadequate and wondered what I could say that would be of ANY benefit. To anyone. Even to/for me.

Justin, I told myself I would try. That I would give what I had. Even when the giving, the trying seemed of little or no effect.

Keep going, my friend. Your efforts ARE making an impact. Your words lifted a heart in need of lifting. Mine. Others, I am sure.

EACH time, you get out of bed, you win. EACH time, you do even when you don’t want to, you win. EACH time, you tell your try to kick rocks, then angrily try best you can, you win.

Yet, Justin, even when you are too tired to try, you win. How? Why? Because you are loved and not alone.

Justin, you are:

More than you know.

So much more than you imagine.

You CAN:

Do wonders.

Make wonders happen in your life and in the lives of others.

You WILL:

Have exceedingly and abundantly above all that you could ever ask or think.

How do I know? Because, God said so and He does NOT lie. Someone might say that you may not believe in God. So what? I have enough faith for you…😂

Be encouraged, Justin. I have asked the same questions as you. I STILL ask them, at times.

The ONLY difference is that I no longer allow fear, tired, disappointment, lazy or any other thing or emotion to keep me from trying. The outcome is not up to me.

Be encouraged, Justin. You got this. God has you. How much safer/loved could you be?

Keep sharing your heart and being open to love and I promise your heart SHALL be filled.

here,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

ttnette37@yahoo.com

Note: Be encouraged, beloveds. We all we got but we all we need, eh? Us and a few billion more peep.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Heart check Monday.

It’s heart check time!

Time to make sure you are being good to you, beloveds. Smh. Forever having to stay on you about this!…lol.

I have found myself giving myself much too hard a time. I am trying to do better. Trying to not fret about why the trying has appeared to be sooooooooooooooooo trying, here lately.

I have refocused. Reminded myself about what is important. I have told myself to get back focusing on the try and letting the outcome be whatever it turns out to be.

I remembered what joy looks and feels like. I have remembered what love looks and feels like.

It’s amazing how life seems to change, as we change our perspective about life.

I won’t be long. I have given myself permission to take a few days off for myself. I may read. I may sleep. I may watch endless shows lamenting who will win/lose the upcoming Superbowl. The point is to give myself the time to just…be.

Be sure to just…be.

I am getting my groove back. Slowly. Ack! Things are going sooooooooooooooooo slllllowwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

I hear that slow and steady wins the race. Ha! Hurry, I want to tell slow and steady. I have things to do!

Huh? We are supposed to be slowing time and taking time to breathe?!…hmm…okay then.

Be encouraged, beloveds. Remember to let yourself experience joy, today. Then, rinse and repeat for tomorrow!

We got this!

Uh, oh!

I hear a cup of coffee hollering for me.

Take care of your heart. It is much too precious to be left alone. 🙂

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Um, you supposed to be out there living life one step at a time, remember? Scat!

Thank you, Monday!

Thank you, Monday!

For all the gifts you are going to bring, today.

I know. I know. Folk seem to be terrified of you, Monday. I don’t know whatever for.

You are amazing, Monday.

You contain wonders just waiting to be discovered.

Ah, Monday, you are sooooooooooooooooo full of:

New beginning(s).

Opportunity.

Challenges.

Obstacles.

Mountains.

Oasis.

Valleys.

Beaches.

Laughter.

Tears.

Anxt.

Surprises.

Suspense.

Unknown.

Revealed.

Oh, Monday, I can not wait to see what you have in store for me, today.

I thank you, Monday, for showing up to give me the opportunity to try, again. The winning or the losing, of the game, matters not to me. Not, anymore, Monday.

ALL I care about is getting in the game. Period. I shall enjoy EVERY moment. I shall laugh. I shall love. I shall embrace. I shall interact. How can I NOT be the victor, Monday?!

I appreciate you, Monday. I no longer dread hearing your name. Forgive me for heaping upon you gloom that never arrived. I choose to see all you have in store. Tell Tuesday to be patient. I can only live one day at a time.

embracing Monday,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is short. Enjoy your Monday. Don’t dread your day(s). Look for the good. Look for the love. Keep on keeping on. Don’t worry about what may or may not be fair. So what if it wasn’t? Nothing you can do about that now, eh, beloveds?

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Take your eyes off hard: Objects in mirror are farther away than they appear.

Every since mom passed, I have been running around like the scarecrow, in The Wizard of Oz. Afraid, of my own shadow. Afraid, of what to do, next. Afraid, of what to do, now.

Afraid. Ack!

I’m no longer afraid to admit to being afraid, so there is that. It was only after finding the courage, to say ‘I am not strong’ that I found the courage to admit to having lived a life full of fear.

Not for others. Just me. I could fight, and did, valiantly, for everyone on earth, except me. What on earth is that????????????!

Get it together, Cassandra, The Universe said to me. I listened. I got it together. For ME, this time.

It’s amazing what happens when one decides NOT to focus on the what ifs, of life. Instead, choosing to focus on the why nots?

Why not?

Why NOT, me?

Why not, ME?

Why not, I ask 55?

Maybe, perchance, perhaps, I may stumble upon dreams, once imagined, never imagined, unimaginable?

Could this be?

Could this actually BE?

In the here?

In my now?

MY now?

Not something I have read about.

Ah, Cassandra. Do you have the guts to try?

No.

So what!?

I will.

Do what?

Beats me.

*shrug*.

God and Life know and They ain’t tellin’.

Yeppers, I was most efficient, beloveds, taking on the full weight of the world. I heaved everyone else’s rocks/buckets and filled them. For them. Exhausted, I had little, to nothing, to spare for me.

So, my rocks, stayed, at the bottom of the hill. And, my bucket(s), stayed, empty.

Ack! Yikes! Egads!

betting on me,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I told hard to shut up, this morning. Rather, I told my feels to shut up. Life was being hard. So what? I had been so focused on how hard life was being, I forgot to just be. I forgot to keep on keeping on. I forgot to be about being about it.

All I saw, beloveds, all I FELT was the hard. Which, made me exhausted. Too exhausted, I told myself, to keep my act right acting right.

This morning, I found myself enjoying my job. I forgot about system issues. I forgot about troublesome life issues. I forgot the hard. I remembered to embrace my day. ALL of it!.

Life is short, beloveds. Don’t let the hard discourage you. Hard is your bestie. Hard keeps you focused. Hard keeps you trying. Keep going. You CAN. You SHALL. You already have. Simply by trying. Still.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Building on hope: Mom, I think I’m ready. Part I.

I awoke…

Hopeful.

I awoke…

Ready.

I awoke…

Hmmm?

I awoke!

It feels like I have been living a waking nightmare. Terrified, of the present. Fearful, of the future.

I don’t know why. Before, I was content to keep on keeping on. Before, I reached 55, I was perfectly satisfied with being satisfied and waiting for my dreams to arrive.

I don’t know what in the fresh hell has gotten into 55! 55 keeps running around. Stamping, snorting and wailing about how short time is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I know. I know, I keep telling 55. Be patient. Let me get things together.

No!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

55 is about to drive me up ten walls. I don’t know what to DO with this stranger, 55, me, Cassandra. ME!

Where did this ME come from?! She is:

Terrifying.

Unafraid.

Ready to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Wait, I say.

Wait!

I am not ready!

So what?!!

55 keeps shouting, ‘so what’ in my ears. Waking me, in the midnight hour(s).

Go way, I say.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! We got thangs to do, 55 shouts at me.

I don’t know what to DO with her. She is running around making plans. She is packing up and getting ready to live her dream of being near the ocean. She cares not one whit that she knows not where or how or why or what. She is just ready to goooooooooooo!!

Fresh hell, Universe, what do I DO with her? What do I do with ME, now? I can scarcely sit still. My comfort zone no longer suits. No longer fits this me. THIS ME!!!!

Ah, God, what do I DO WITH ME NOW?

asking for a friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: If this piece, and others, appear to be half finished…they are. I am creating each piece, my life, in real time. I wish I had complete answers. I am learning it’s okay to NOT have the answers, in full. Not just yet. If ever. Ah, I see I am leaving out commas, on purpose. To let myself know that it IS okay to create new rules for me. Whew! Have to leave a comma, or two, sprinkled else the lungs won’t do their lungery things.

Be encouraged. It’s time for us to launch out. On HOPE, this time. Not, fear. Not, doubt. Not, foreboding. The unknown is simply unknown. Let us take an adventure, shall we? There is no telling who we may meet. We have NO idea where we shall end up. Ah!…*delicious shiver*.

Let’s go, eh? We have spent enough time in the shallows, haven’t we? Let’s find some others to take with. Don’t forget to bring some snacks! I shall make my world famous Double Chocolate Chip Muffins! I may, or may not, however, share…hehe…

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Go big or stay home, Cassandra.

I have often heard the saying go big or go home. I have always taken this to mean dream and strive big or don’t waste the time.

I must admit, sadly to my way of thinking now, that I have generally chosen the safer/safest route.

Why?

I was always told not to touch the hot stove.

Don’t go there!!!!!!

Dont try THAT!!!!!!!

Why on earth would you want to experience such and such!!!!!!!!!!!?

I ended up choosing other folks safe path for me. For, my life.

Yikes!

It has only been since God told me to tell The Universe what I wanted that I have been opened up to thoughts I had been too afraid to think, let alone ASK FOR?!…*gasp*.

I thought God mad, initially. I mean, why in the wide world would GOD, God, I’m telling ya, tell me to ask The Universe for what I needed or wanted? Of course, what dumbsky would be dumb enough to think or call God mad?!

Anywho, after secretly thinking/calling God mad, just a smidge, I sat down and penned my letter to The Universe. It’s somewhere in the archives. Repost if you find it wouldja someone? Asking for A Friend…lol.

N-E-Waze, doing something sooooooooooooooooooooo ridiculous actually opened me up the the ridiculous possibilities life could, perhaps, maybe gimme.

Ah.

Aha!

God just needed for me to pry my limited mind(set) so I could begin to SEE, to BELIEVE, to RECEIVE, the infinite possibilities of….

Possibilities?

Hmmm.

Possible?

Hmm!

Before 55 showed up to scare the fresh hell out of me and my comfort zone, I was much too comfortable living in my limited space. Yes, I grew cramped. Yes, my heart longed for, no demanded, I get out there and live!

Still, I remained still. That is, until my stillness could stand my stillness, no more.

Stillness: No more, Cassandra! Get out there and LIVE! Go now.

Me: I don’t know how.

Stillness: So what? Go anyway!

Me: I don’t know where to go.

Stillness: Stop lying, Cassandra! You have ALWAYS known where you want to go. You are just afraid of what it may take to get there. You are simply terrified you may never make it there. You are chastened to think you just may not have what it takes to get there. What are you waiting for, Cassandra?! Get gon!

Me: I…I…hhmm.

*Cassandra peers over the precipice and…*

to be continued,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: How does this story end? How in the fresh hell would I know, beloveds! Help. Ack!

*Cassandra peers over the precipice and…*

Live, beloveds. Perhaps you, too, find yourself at your very own precipice. Shall we take the leap together? I will if you will. Okay, I am fixing to whether anyone else goes or not. Here goes nothing…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Fear, the ONLY thing I am losing is you!

Kick rocks, fear!

I am tired of you trying to scare the bejeez out of me with your threats and lies.

Fear, the ONLY thing I am going to be losing is YOU!

Get gone!

You will NOT, fear, cause me to fear.

No way.

No how.

I don’t care what things currently look like. I KNOW all things work for my good. I KNOW I am loved and am NOT alone. I KNOW my efforts are NOT in vain.

Be off with you, fear!

I shall NOT allow you to have me all up in my feels. You can both take two seats.

Ha!

ALL you are doing, fear, is helping me to strengthen my faith muscles. That’s ALL you are doing. ALL I am allowing you to do in and for me, fear.

I run my life.

I CHOOSE.

I believe.

I have faith.

I rejoice.

I embrace what happens in and for my life.

Go way from me, fear.

I ain’t worried about you.

laughing through it all,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Do NOT allow fear to scare the bejeez out of you. Tell fear to stop lying to you and to kick some rocks. You do NOT have to live a life limited by fear and doubt. Be encouraged. Keep moving forward. Though the steps may seem small and slow, your steps are producing much.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I am wondering…

Soooooooooo, I was asleep. Sleeping 😴 soundly.

Awoke, suddenly. Suddenly, I tell you!!😳

What woke me, beloveds, out of a dead sleep?!…*gasp*.

My ridiculous mind wondering and wandering and wondering about something completely irrelevant and stupid in the middle of the night when I have to work in a few hours!…*stamps foot*.

So, now I am awake, in the middle of the night…*sigh*…wondering how you are, beloveds.

I am wondering:

How are you?

Is your heart okay?

Are you still hanging in there?

I am wondering how I can:

Make you laugh.

Annoy your try enough to get you to try.

Make your lazy mad enough to do something.

I am wondering if you know:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Whilst wondering and wandering, I decided to wake up and just check on you:

How are you?

Is your heart okay?

Are you still hanging in there?

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:🤗

Have a great Fri-yay!

It’s Friday.

Fri-yay!

Prepare to enjoy the weekend, beloveds.

You have done your best. Time to do some you. It’s imperative to get some time to rest up and get refilled.

Power through then rest. You have earned it.

Pay up, Universe! Give us our bounties!

thankful,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be encouraged. You are loved and you are not alone.