A funny thing happened on the way to my dreams…

For months and months, my heart had been driving me up ten walls. Thankfully, beloveds, I can now speak in past terms. Whew!

My heart had been pestering there was more she wanted to do with my life.

More.

More.

More.

The word chased me to bed.

More.

More.

More!

The word chased me out of 🛏 bed.

More.

More.

More!

More what!?

I couldn’t ignore the stupid word. Nothing was satisfying anymore. See!? There is that ‘more’ again!

I asked God what on earth was going on with my heart. God said ‘beats me’ and left ME to figure things out for myself. How dare!

Finally, I had a heart to heart cry with God and asked WHY He would give me a dream and then not let me fly!

I wanted to do this, that and the other thing, but life was currently in the way.

He asked one sentence that stopped me in my tracks:

Why can’t you soar from where you are right now?

Hhmmm.

I was forced to ask myself:

Why can’t you soar from where you are right now?

Can you soar from where you are right now?

Will you soar from where you are right now?

What things do you need to help you soar right now?

Hhmmm.

Ah.

Aha!

After a hard and honest talk with ME, I began to surf YouTube. As background, I was never into YouTube. For years and years.

I paid for the cable. Flipped gaskets over high internet bill over usage. Wondered why on earth sis and niece forever were carrying on about YouTube this and YouTube that.

One day, I wondered on, wandered around, and th rest was history. Now, I have to schedule time. Otherwise, I could spend a lifetime watching udon noodles being made.

While surfing, some tutorials on website building and other things I would need to learn popped up. Yikes!

God heard me! So, I started a playlist and got to pondering my what next and what now.

I had also determined I was going to find a more modern apartment with central air. I asked myself if this was a deal breaker because I liked my neighborhood. It’s quiet. Neighbors doing bother each other.

I live in central location of the stores and post office etc. It’s the perfect spot. Just older building and upstairs. I considered if I wanted to live beneath folk stomping upstairs.

I think I may stay where I am!

I also pondered on how much time I am allowing myself to learning how to create and build my own weird website and how much I am willing to put out, monthly, if I never make a dime.

Am I writing to encourage, to entertain, to make money or all three? If so, do I do a website with blog? Do I stick with just a blog and play around with that?

Questions. Questions!

I decided to soar from where I am. Right now. Here, I shall plant my 🚩 flag. I have no idea where or how things will turn out. I am just going to create my own opportunity and see what happens.

Right now, I am watching my favorite YouTube channels in a new way. I am pondering what I like about them. Why I choose one channel over another.

Hopefully, this will help me with this blog so I can present my magnificent words in a more eye pleasing way…😂.

I love a good meal. Half the enjoyment is how it looks on the plate. I am going to learn to feed yall steak on something other than on a paper plate.🥸😂🤷‍♀️

In the meantime, beloveds, I just stopped by to encourage you to soar from where you are. You will get to your somewhere sooner or later. Or, you may end up someplace totally unexpectedly.

Look around you. Look within you. Then, look up and keep moving forward. We got thangs to do.

doing thangs from here,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Um, you are supposed to be soaring! Scoot!

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

• 📫 BE HONEST WITH THEM. FOR, ME. ❤️‍🩹Beloveds,I have been thinking about honesty.Not the kind we demand from everybody else.The kind that requires us to sit with ourselves long enough to tell the truth about what is happening inside us.👀Because sometimes the hardest person to be honest with is yourself.Sometimes we know something hurts, but we keep calling it fine.Sometimes we know we are tired, but we keep calling ourselves lazy.Sometimes we know we need help, but we keep calling needing help weakness.Sometimes we know something has changed, but we keep trying to live as though nothing did.And sometimes we are so busy trying to make everybody else comfortable with our reality that we stop being honest about our own.❤️‍🩹I have had to learn this in ways I never wanted to learn it.My life changed.My body changed.My speech changed.My independence changed.The amount of effort required to do ordinary things changed.And there have been moments when I wanted so badly to be the Cassandra I remembered that I became impatient with the Cassandra who was actually here.But she deserves honesty too.She deserves tenderness too.She deserves patience too.She deserves to be loved without having to pretend that everything is easy.🪑So I am learning to tell the truth.I can be grateful and tired.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh and still hurt.I can celebrate progress and grieve what changed.I can be strong and need help.I can love people and still need boundaries.I can forgive somebody and still acknowledge what happened.I can believe God is with me without pretending every part of this journey feels good.Those truths do not cancel each other.They can sit in the same room.Sometimes they can even sit in the same chair.👀🪑And maybe somebody reading this needs permission to stop performing too.You do not have to tell everybody everything.Privacy is not dishonesty.Boundaries are not dishonesty.Taking time before you speak is not dishonesty.But beloved, please find somewhere you can tell the truth.Even if the first place is inside your own heart.Say:This hurt me.I miss what was.I am angry.I am afraid.I need help.I don’t know yet.I changed my mind.I need more time.I am proud of myself.I survived something difficult.I am learning.I am healing.I am still here.🔑Because honesty can be a key.A key that unlocks shame.A key that loosens the chain of pretending.A key that lets grief breathe.A key that allows joy to be real instead of performed.A key that makes room for healing.And sometimes the truth is not:”I have figured everything out.”Sometimes the truth is simply:”I am trying.”And beloved?Trying counts.❤️‍🩹I am learning not to require perfection from myself before I offer myself compassion.I am learning not to make recovery another place where I have to perform.I am learning that one difficult day does not erase every good day that came before it.I am learning that needing rest does not erase determination.I am learning that receiving help does not erase independence.And I am learning that being honest about what hurts does not mean I have stopped believing that healing is possible.It means I stopped requiring myself to lie on the way there.👀So be honest with them when honesty is safe.Be honest with the people who love you.Be honest with the people helping you.Be honest about what you need.Be honest about what you cannot do today.Be honest about what you are learning to do again.But before all of that—Be honest with you.For me.❤️‍🩹Because I want you here.Not the polished version.Not the pretending version.Not the version exhausted from convincing everybody that everything is fine.YOU.The learning you.The healing you.The laughing you.The crying you.The figuring-it-out-as-you-go you.There is room for that person here.🪑Pull up a chair.You don’t have to resolve everything before you belong.You don’t have to perform strength before you are loved.You don’t have to have all the answers before your life matters.Your life matters right now.Exactly here.One step.One step.One step.🔑❤️‍🩹🪑Asking for A Friend,Cassandra#YourLifeMattersToMeNote: One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU!
• THE CHAIR.
• WEDNESDAY 🌎
• WEDNESDAY 🌎
• MOM, WOMBIE, LET’S LOVE THE WORLD TOGETHER. 🌎❤️‍🔥