A funny thing happened on my way to perfection: I found I was NOT perfect. I found I could NOT perfect me. I found myself chock full of imperfections.
Who knew?!…lol.
This rebuilding process is maddening. NOTHING I try seems to be working. ALL I find, am finding, have found are mishaps, misfires, mis-steps, missed steps and mistakes.
Yikes! Ack! Ewwwww!
I cringe at this heaving ball of what in the fresh hell, which is now my current circumstances.
Nothing is settled.
Nothing is firm.
Nothing FEELS safe.
I have been left with nothing but:
Fear.
Dread.
Doubt.
Empty.
My dreams, my thoughts, my everything has been filled with those things. I fight them daily: Fear. Dread. Doubt. Empty.
I wake finding my dreams have now turned into the living/breathing reality of living among/with fear, dread, doubt, and empty.
I drag these things to God and asks Him to take them away. He says He can’t. He says that I must deal with these things. I ask Him ‘how’.
Ah, He says.
Aha, I reply.
So, each day, I fight with, argue with, seemingly agree with fear, dread, doubt, and empty.
Some days, they win. Some days, I win. Other days, we are in a stalemate. Sometimes, we call a truce.
All the while, I grow. All the while, I find myself a little less perfect, but a little more at peace. With me. With my circumstances. With my imperfectness. With my imperfections.
Keep on going, beloveds. Ball of mess though your dreams may appear to be!
We are not perfect. We were never called to be. We are just to be. Period. As best as we can. As much as we can. For as long as we can.
Be encouraged today. We SHALL be filled.
asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Ah, beloveds. Stop judging you so harshly. You got this.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
If this piece encouraged you, share it with someone please/thanks.
- COME SIT AT MY TABLE 🪑❤️🩹
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
- REAL TALK: DESPISE NOT SMALL BEGINNINGS, BELOVEDS.👘🦺🥾👟🥿👞🩴👢🩰👡⛑️🔌🕯️🔎🖌️🖋️📢
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 