Life has ALWAYS been a fight.
ALL my life:
Fighting poverty.
Fighting to get out of poverty.
Fighting to stay away from poverty.
ALL of my black life, my black self had been raised to see nothing but lack:
Lack of finances.
Lack of opportunity.
Lack of provision.
My parents did their best, to instill a strong work effort, to combat this spirit of lack.
Still, beloveds, lack remained. Poverty persisted.
Why?
Because, in part, we weren’t taught how to see, to chase, to pursue, to attract prosperity, and hope for the future.
To be black, we were told, we were raised to believe, was to start, 100 yards behind the start line, for a 100 yard dash race.
We were told we had to work ten times harder than everyone else.
We were admonished we had to be ten times better than everyone else. Just to have a slim to none chance at success.
With that in mind, I fought.
Everything.
Everyone.
Everywhere.
I didn’t get much time to dream. None of us did. We had to fight. We lived in survival mode.
The tornado saved my life.
Why?
Ironically, because I had to learn how to fight:
Fight for my dreams.
Fight old demons of fear about poverty and lack.
Fight doubt.
Fight my way back to peace, love, and joy.
Fight myself to free myself from the bondage of believing my worth was tied up in my job, in my capacity to be on call for the world 24/7.
Fight to stand on FAITH.
Fight to stand on BUSINESS.
You see, once the tornado turned my life upside down, I had to fight to right it once again.
I fought, angrily, with God.
I fought, disillusioned, with Life.
I fought, belatedly, with The Universe.
I fought to get my confidence back. I fought to find my identity. I fought to find…ME!
One day, Jesus quietly came and said “It is finished”. He meant it. I had been scared to believe it. For ME.
Then, God sidled up to my heart and said “You don’t have to fight anymore, Cassandra”.
Astonishingly, I believe Him. About me. Ah, God, I KNOW my worth now. I SEE my worth now. I RECEIVE my worth now.
I have, as the bible says, learned to be content, in EVERY stage I am in. I am no longer terrified to experience lack.
I look FORWARD to my future now. I no longer look to the future with secret dread.
Beloveds, I had true faith, love, and belief, for everyone in the world but me. Smh.
Too often, we allow ourselves to be fed the outrageous/ridiculous lie that we were called and meant to be a slave to the world. We were NOT.
Serve the world, yes. There is a huge difference between service and slavehood.
Service is done from love. With love. Freely. Without conditions. True service takes care of EVERYONE. EVERYWHERE.
Service IS love in ACTION. Jesus came to serve, to love, to give, to share.
Anywaze, God tapped me on the shoulder and told me to rest.
Uncurling my fists, opening my arms, embracing whatever may come, has not been easy. It has come at the cost of:
My pride.
My need to be comfortable.
The chance to ALWAYS be right.
My need for safety.
I had to become open to new things, new experiences, new adventures, new everything.
How terrifying. How exciting.
I just stopped by to tell someone that life was never meant to be lived in a constant state of fear, of dread, of dismay. Life is here to be loved, lived, relished, cherished, gifted, received, recognized, given away, taken in…
Be encouraged. Allow your fight to be over. You do NOT have to fight to be seen, to be heard, to be loved, to be valued. Just keep being the priceless gift that you are. Love SHALL find you.
asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He. Nuff said.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
- REAL TALK: DESPISE NOT SMALL BEGINNINGS, BELOVEDS.👘🦺🥾👟🥿👞🩴👢🩰👡⛑️🔌🕯️🔎🖌️🖋️📢
- IT ME!
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 