Category: faith

ARE you ready for your life to change, Life said to me.

Me: I’m ready for my life to change!

Life: ARE you? REALLY?

God: Are you, really?

The Universe: Really? YOU? Are READY?

Me: I  am.

Life: K. 🌪🚨❗️🥊

God: K. 🔥🫸🌪❤️‍🩹🔋🌎🥺😥

The Universe: K. 🥊🥊🥊❤️‍🩹🌪🔥😲🥊🥊🥊🤯😡😠😳😩🎤

Me: I wasn’t ready for my life to change. Not like this. I am wanting my boring when is my life going to change life back.

SSSSHHHHHHHOOOOTTTTTT!

Ah, God. What do I do with me now?

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Are you ready for your life to change?

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Honest(y).

It’s time.

Time for me to be honest.

With me.

With Him.

With you.

Yesterday, I questioned everything. Everything!

My faith.

My faith in me.

My faith in Him.

My faith in my dreams.

The 🌪 has destroyed what little financial room I had. I can’t move. I can’t breathe. I don’t know HOW to make up all the finances I have lost.

Today, I was honest. I just could NOT do the day. So, I didn’t. I gave myself the day to let my heart do what it needed to do. As for me? I slept. I ate chicken strips. Rinse. Repeat. ALL day. Wonderful.

What shall I DO tomorrow?

I wish I knew.

The only thing I DO know is I am going to be honest.

With me.

With God.

With you.

It sure can be hard to be honest with oneself. It’s super easy to lie to ourselves. I am doing my best not to do so. I owe myself the truth. I owe God the truth. I owe you the truth, beloveds.

I normally don’t look at numbers. The past couple of days I have peeked and saw a view here, two views there. I became discouraged.

Then, I became delighted. I was happy in the knowledge one or two or a few wandered by so I could let them know how very much they are loved and not alone. I tell you the same.

I hear a cup of coffee calling. Who is coming? Don’t forget the snacks!

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be honest with you, beloveds. Be honest. If life is being a bit suckery right now it’s okay to say so. Life is sucking a big lemon for me at the moment. Ah, God. What the world are you doing? Hurry up and…just hurry. Asking for my friends.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

If you want to get there in a hurry, take your time.

Time.

*sigh*

Accomplishing things takes time.

And, more time.

And, more time.

And…

You get the point.

The older I grow, the faster I learn that I need to slow down!😳

Take your time, Cassandra!

Do it right the FIRST time, Cassandra!

Why are you in such a hurry for anyway, Cassandra?!

I have been in a big fat hurry to get to nowhere.

Annoying.

Maddening.

Frustrating!

The Fourth of July is coming. It’s supposed to celebrate independence.

I don’t feel independent.

I feel:

Stuck.

Ack.

Memorial Weekend brought a weekend I will never forget and was awfully memorable in a terribly horrible way. It’s hard to celebrate now. I am going to celebrate being alive.

I am going to do my best, I hope, I think, I’ll try, to take my time and allow life to unfold as it will.

I am learning how not to hurry. Change takes time. Lots of it.

As I hurry, towards my future, I take my time to enjoy the scenery.

Wait.

Patiently.

Take your time.

You will get there.

Or, you won’t get there but will have learned some fantastic lessons along the way. Or, you will have found new adventures!

Be encouraged. Rest. Take your time. Rinse. Repeat.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: If someone else tells me how short life is I may scream. What do you mean I am the one forever saying this? This is true. Still, enjoy the bits of it that we have shall we? In case no one has told you this today: I love you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Trying. 😳

My internet provider texted me a bit ago:

UPDATE: We’re sorry this complex network issue is taking longer than expected to resolve. Rest assured, a dedicated team is actively working to restore consistent service. We apologize again for the inconvenience and will continue to provide daily text updates.

I have been hearing this for almost a month now. Instead of diving over the railing, I creates a new GoFundMe:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/stand-with-cassandra-tornado-recovery-fund?utm_source=copy_link&utm_medium=customer&utm_campaign=man_sharesheet_ft&attribution_id=sl:e0951982-d0c9-4781-a455-42e63ec6b8b1

I must admit, I am having a tougher time scraping joy from all this.

Be encouraged. This I tell myself today.

Beloveds, I am going to spill and let you know I fear no one will care, and the world will tell me to kick rocks. Or, ignore my ask. Again.

I think I will go find a cup of ☕ coffee. Perhaps, I have poured out enough love in the world to have woken up The Universe for me today.

I asked God this morning not to let my heart get 💔 broken. Again.

If so, I will remain hopeful.

Ah, God. Where ARE You?

asking for a friend(me),

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Do it for you.

The last few days, I have been…

Questioning?

Wondering?

Asking?

I have been studying and pondering what I want to contribute to the cyber world.

Do I want/need to create a YouTube channel?

Do I want/need to…

I DO want to encourage.

I DO want to exhort.

I DO want to kick folk in the hind end to stop that already!

For me.

For folk.

For…*shrug*.

I look at all these content creators who are hiding behind smiles and cute/clean studios and want to shake them.

Stop that!

Be you!!!

You do NOT have to perform like a seal to be loved!

Ack!

This blog is small. I wish I had a million folk. Why? Because that’s a million folk who would daily hear they are loved and not alone.

All I can do is to be me.

That’s it.

That’s all.

Be me and do it for me.

Be me and do it for me as I do it for Him.

Be me and do it for me as I do it for you.

Life is short.

Get out there and live the life you have been wanting to live. Tell fear to shut it and take two seats. If fear won’t shut up, take fear along with you until it gets bored and takes doubt and fatigue with it!

Get after it.

Do you.

doing me with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Okaaaaaaay, you are supposed to be out there being you for me, remember?

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Recovery: Call me Tank!🥊

I have been up.

All night.

ALL night.

Watching 🥊 boxing.

Why?

I am angry.

Angry at a world that sent a 🌪 tornado that has turned my actual world upside down.

Angry, a tiny bit, at:

Life?

Me?

God?

Me?

The Universe?

Me?

You?

Me?

Me?!

Hmm.

Okay, beloveds. I have been found out. I am angry at ME!😡🤯😳🥺😥😠❗️🚨🤗🥊🌪❤️‍🩹

Why?

I have been asking myself and asking myself and asking myself and asking myself WHY, truly, REALLY, HONESTLY I have not yet fulfilled MY dreams.

I have helped many fulfill theirs. I have prayed many through their frustration as they worked towards their dreams.

I have celebrated THEIR successes. I have been proud of them. I still am.

As for me and MY dreams…*sigh*.

I made them wait.

I put them on hold.

I told them my turn would come.

Someday.

I had to be:

Practical.

Prudent.

Mindful.

In my eyes, my dreams don’t pay much. Or, no one would pay for work produced by MY hands.

My work was not worthy to be purchased by the masses.

My work was not of the quality to grace the halls of those in the know.

My work wasn’t this.

My work wasn’t THAT.

My work ALWAYS fell short, somehow.

I had no proof, beloveds.

I was just afraid to try.

I was afraid my work would be rejected.

I was afraid I would be rejected.

Ah.

Aha!

I’m afraid of rejection, no more. Rejection has been my daily bread for so long I am used to it…*shrug*.

Now, I am angry at the darkness that has made so many afraid.

Now, I am angry at apathy that is allowing hate to run rampant.

Now, I am angry at lazy for allowing so many wasted moments, minutes and days to pile upon one another.

Now, I am angry at all that I have allowed to hold me back.

Now, I am utilizing all that anger so I can defeat ALL that which besets me and tries to get in my way.

Ha!

Move!

I got thangs to do!

Call me Tank!..lol. That’s who was pummeling his foe. Yikes! Whew! Glad it wasn’t me up in that ring.

After the fight, I was ready to get back in MY fight. For so many days, too many days, I have been wandering around all dazed and confused. Afraid to go outside. Afraid to clean out the fridge and throw away all the spoiled food I had paid a bajillion million dollars for.

Now, I rise. I take out the trash, in the midst of the rubble that is now my neighbohood.

Now, I put on boxing gloves so I can continue to fight Reality which comes, on the daily. Taunting me. Telling me I am an old, washed up lady whose time has long passed her by.

Reality says love left with the tornado. My dreams were swept away by the horrible winds that reaped destruction for all the world to literally see.

Yet, I find myself hopeful. Still Shhhhhhhhheeeeeeut!

Ah, God. Why, oh, why, did you not allow hope to be taken away with the tornado? All this hope, unfulfilled, is weighting me down. My heart still years, still burns to do…..dammit, I don’t KNOW. It has been yearning for decades.

Release me. Let me be the me You keep insisting is in here. Where is she? Allow her to be. Only You can help me now. All the rest is but sinking sand. Goodness and gravy.

asking wearily for a friend(me),

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Ah, God. When shall THIS battle end? Asking for a friend(me).

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Egads, I don’t know how.

Egads!

Yikes!

Geezzz!

I have stumbled on a frustratingly frustrating truth…

I don’t know how!

😳

I don’t know HOW to:

Rest. For me.

Dream. For me.

Hope. For me.

Not really.

I’m used to ALWAYS going.

For others.

Never for me.

I’ve never been given a turn. Always told to do for others. Work for others. Try for others.

I’m not complaining. I love doing for others. Yet, God has told me to rest. God has asked me what I desire for ME. God wonders what I hope for. For me.

I am trying. To rest. I can’t seem to find it. There seems to be so much to DO. Ack!

How do we get off this hamster wheel, beloveds? How do we stop chasing all the things we have been told to chase all of our lives?

Someone let me know.

I am tired.

asking for a friend(me),

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: If some pieces seem unfinished….*shrug*. I am unfinished. My heart is straining to say things I don’t yet understand. I am too busy wondering where in the fresh hell all this hard has come from and dammit when in the hell is it moving outta here already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t know HOW and am driving myself up ten walls. God, please show me how. Please. Asking for a friend(me).

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I deserve to BE. Here.

I deserve to BE.

Here.

Now.

In THIS space.

In THIS place.

I do NOT have to earn my spot.

My spot was given to me simply by my birth.

I am worthy.

Of love.

To be loved.

I am able.

To love.

To receive love.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made just as the Bible says!

I deserve to be here.

I embrace where I am. Difficult though my am finds itself to be right now.

It feels good to feel.

Ah.

Aha!

alive,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: ❤️‍🩹❤️🥰

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Underneath it all.

Your dreams are still there.

Underneath it all.

Underneath:

The hard.

The long.

The trying.

The trials.

Love is STILL waiting for you.

Beneath it all.

Beneath:

The rejection.

The ghosting.

The dismissals.

Joy still lives within you.

Despite:

The hard.

The fear.

The doubt.

The wondering.

The wandering.

You are covered, beloveds, underneath it all.

Underneath:

God’s Care.

The Universe’ Blessings.

Life’s Bounty.

Be encouraged, beloveds. Things are NOT as they appear. Keep going. You are creating diamonds, in your shoes, as you continue to walk towards and up Joy Mountain. That which you think has been your toughest tests/trials, shall turn out to be your closest friends.

walking still,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Well I know, beloveds, how hard the way has been. Enjoy your day. Try not to focus on the hard. Focus on the incredibly YOU that is being created/fashioned/remade/restored/renewed as you walk your way through the hard! Ah, beloveds, you got this! What’s more, God has got us all. In case no one has told you today: I love you

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Adapting: Going old school.

If nothing else, beloveds, I am learning how to adapt. Fresh heckamiah!

Without the internet, I have missed ALL of my shows!!….stamps foot. The US Open is this week!!!……..Ack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In desperation, I ordered a stupid antennae so I can see about, at the very least, finding a few digital channels so I can watch the last round or two of the Us Open.

Said antannae came. Have been fighting with the dumb thing for a day and a half!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!

The stupid thing will find a few channels, will taunt me I can’t see them and will boot me off the correct Input channel.

WHAT IN THE FRESH HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally, finally, FIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAALLLLLY, beloveds, I figured out that I had to turn off the Hotspot, on my phone, so the channels can register on the BLASTED TELEVISION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, after a day of agony, I am prepared to watch some golf come Sunday. If I have a Sunday. If the stupid antennae thingie willl even work already!!!

Here is where I would normally insert something incredbily inspiring and insightful about using the tough moments to teach you new things. Or, something equally as true and dumb about using the old to bring back things you enjoy. However, ALL I want to do right now is scream at the stupid non working tv because I do NOT HAVE THE INTERNET BECAUSE TWO DAMMED TORNADOES CAME IN, STOLE ALL MY EXPENSIVE FOOD, RIPPED UP MY FLIPPING YARD, STOMPED THROUGH ALL MY STOMPING GROUNDS AND HAVE LEFT ME WITH NO WORK CHECK BECAUSE I CAN’T WORK BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE THE STUPID INTERNET AND FOLK ARE OVER CARING ABOUT THIS ISSUE SO I AM ON MY OWN DEALING WITH THE FACT I COULD HAVE DIED IN THE STUPID TORNADOES!!!!

Ehem, scuze me,…coug….oooppps.

Me thinks it is time for a coffee break.

In the meantime, beloveds, it’s okay to have a bit of a flip out whilst your life is being flipped about. I would offer to share a cup of coffee but I wouldn’t blame you for saying no about now.

Be encouraged.

I’m hoping all is well. If not, come over my way and have a scream, er, cup of coffee with me.

here still(I think),

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I love you. Nuff said.


One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!