God: Forgive yourself.
Me: I find it hard.
God: Why?
Me: I feel as if I gave EVERYTHING away. Now, there is nothing left. When I need it.
God: Do you regret giving EVERYTHING?
Me: Of course not.
God: Why do you judge you so harshly then?
Me: Because, my coffers are empty when I am in deep need.
God: Have I not taken your coffers into account?
Me: I think so.
God: Ah. You THINK so. Do you think or do you BELIEVE?
Me: I choose to believe.
God: Believe then. Forgive yourself for that which requires no forgiveness. Not by Me, anyway.
Me: K.
I did NOT want to keep my writing promise. Not today. I wanted to wallow, just a smidge, in a tad bit of self-pity. Don’t I have the RIGHT to be pitiful, I want to rage at The Universe?!!
A flipping tornado, TWO IN FACT, showed up, OUT OF NOWHERE AND TORE A HOLE IN MY LIFE WITHOUT A DAMNED HEADS UP AND HAVE COSTED ME MY JOB, MY PEACE OF MIND, MY SLEEP, MY SUPPOSED FRIENDS AND ASSURITY THAT MY BLASTED PRAYERS WERE DOING SOMETHING ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whew.
Now that I have had a mini rant….whew.
I have been chastising myself for days. Days!
I am fussing, with myself, for allowing my age to keep me from doing things YEARS ago. Dammit and fresh hell.
I am fussing. With God. For? Not being more forceful. Demanding I do things. Whether I was afraid or not. Okay, He has forever encouraged me. I was forever using Him as an excuse. I was ‘waiting’. On some kind of sign. Or boom. Or flame. Or some kind of SOMETHING…
To let me know which way to go.
I am fussing. With The Universe. For? For not being more forceful. In nudging me. Over the cliff of ‘just do it already’. Okay, The Universe has forever encouraged me. I was forever using The Universe as an excuse. I was ‘waiting’. On some kind of cosmic letter. Delivered to…
Show me which way to go.
I am fussing. With Life. For? For not being more forceful. In pushing me. Up. Over the mountain of ‘your dreams can be found here’. Okay, Life has forever encouraged me to just try. Something. Anything. My way.
Soooooooooooooo, I find myself in need of forgiveness. To me. For?
Being afraid? Nothing wrong with being afraid at times.
Being TOO afraid to try? We have all been there; Too afraid to move forward. Too afraid to move back. Too afraid to move. Ack.
Ah, God. Okay. I choose to forgive. Me. You. Me. You, again. Me. Me. The Universe. Life. Me. You. Everybody. Geeeeeeez, God, this forgiveness business can be exhausting.
forgiving myself,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Life is short, beloveds. Much too short to keep pounding yourself over things you were too afraid to do and try. You did the best you could, with what you had.
Be encouraged. Pick up the pieces. Make new pieces. Dust off old pieces. Begin again. And, again. And, again. As many times as required. As long as you have breath, you still have time.
You got this. As do and. What’s more, God has us all. You CAN. You WILL. Believing in you for A Friend…
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
- THE HAND FROM HEAVEN ✋🏾☁️🧻🤣
- COME SIT AT MY TABLE 🪑❤️🩹
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 