When you want to quit…
don’t!
When ALL that is within you cries out to let go of your try…
don’t!
When ALL signs point to immediate and imminent disaster and failure is begging you to allow you to drag you to the pits of despair/I can’t/I don’t know how/Staying hurts too much…
don’t!
Cry, beloveds, if you have to. Fuss at hard for being too blessed hard and too hard a time, if need be. Stomp around, if you must.
Don’t you EVER, NEVA, YOU HAD BEST NOT allow those temporary things to give you to give up on you, on your try, on your dreams, on your future.
You can DO this, beloveds. You CAN, remember? You HAVE to, remember? You are NOT alone, remember?
Today was beyond hard. I wanted to run. I wanted to quit. Literally.
I was in such a state, beloveds, I cried out to God. This is what happened:
Me:
God: What’s wrong, beloved?
Me: I literally don’t know what to DO! I don’t know HOW to do my job!! I NEED this job. It took me 17 months to find it. I feel like an IDIOT. I do NOT like feeling like an idiot!!!!!!!
God: If I am understanding correctly, your pride is hurting? You DO realize/understand training actually does involve the uncomfortable feelings of feeling like an idiot until you learn enough NOT to feel like an idiot?
Me: Well, yea. Your saying it like THAT kinda makes it hard for me to gaslight myself by advising it’s not my fault I don’t know nuffin…*sigh*. What do I DO, though? I honestly have NO idea what I am doing and ready to cry, quit, go to bed for a month, in that order.
God: Call your big bro, give him your tears, ask for some brotherly advice as he has been where you are many times. You got this. I have been looking over your shoulder all day. Didn’t you feel a lightening of the hardest parts?
Me: Come to think of it, I DID hear a whisper to hang in there before I acted too much of a fool. Hold on while I call big bro. Brb…
Me to big bro:
Big bro(listening intently): Did you so and so and such and such? Can you yet hither and yon over there and everywhere? Have you and are you doing ALL you know?
Me(Crying all over big bro shoulders): Well, yea.
Big bro: Keep doing what you are doing. Keep trying. It takes time. Give yourself the time. Do as you have been asked. Nothing more. The outcome is NOT up to you. All you are required to do is as was asked/required. I will submit your tears to God. Hang in there.
Me:
Me: I did it, God! I did the day! I didn’t quit! I refused to allow my pride, my embarrassment, my feels to run the show. How great is that?!
God: That is fantastic, beloved. Remember, these trials are NOT here to trip you up. Life happens. To everyone. These fiery trials are meant to continue to bring out the diamond already in you. They are meant to teach you that you CAN make it. They are there to SHOW you, in REAL TIME, that you CAN take it. IF, you trust. IF, you keep on keeping on. IF, you continue to move FORWARD. IF, you keep telling failure/doubt/anxiety and ALL their ilk where to get off, where to land, when/where/how to kick rocks and trust ME. I promise I will NOT allow you to fail…too much…hehe.
Me: That’s cold, God. I hear You, though. I have zero plans on ending my day on THAT disastrous shift. How about a praise party? I already have Billy and Saran Gaines “Promised Land” blasting away?
God: Let’s go!!
*Cassandra gets about being about being about it with a well earned praise party. Who is joining me?
asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Hang in there, beloveds. You truly CAN do so much more than you think or feel as though you can’t…hehe. I truly wanted to walk out, quit, cry, cry about quitting and walking out.
Beloveds, I am sooooooooooooooooooooo very thankful I did NOT quit. I would have been sooooooooooooo disappointed in and with me. Yes, I probably would have FELT better for all of two seconds. Until, I realized you just quit you big dummy and it took almost a year and a half to find this job and now you have to start ALL over and have to go through the same anxiety with a new job and learning new processes!!!!!! Whew, and heckemiah, Cassandra!
Be encouraged. I am showing how the sausage is truly made so folks can hang in there. There are too many folks who walk around pretending they don’t hurt, that life doesn’t hurt, that they don’t question God, that they don’t vehemently WANT to quit when hard gets ridiculously hard and at THIS time of year.
I know this has been a longer piece. Bear with me. Someone NEEDED this. Especially me. We got this, yall. We really do. I think this is giving me the courage to go back and start recording more uplifting videos in my channels. I had been sooooooooooooooooooo discouraged and secretly quit but didn’t tell anyone, especially me. I CAN. I WILL. I HAVE to. I’m going to do my utmost to do so if I am only recording uplifting videos only I see. Maybe, one day, someday, someone will happen by when they are at their wit’s end as I was today but they don’t have a brother, or know God, as I do, to get encouragement. I shall make the videos for THEM/HIM/HER. Be encouraged, beloveds. In case no one has told you today, I love you. So does He.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
- COME SIT AT MY TABLE 🪑❤️🩹
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
- REAL TALK: DESPISE NOT SMALL BEGINNINGS, BELOVEDS.👘🦺🥾👟🥿👞🩴👢🩰👡⛑️🔌🕯️🔎🖌️🖋️📢
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 