Grief will have it’s way, and that’s okay. I told sad no, though. 🤗

faith, God, Hobbies, Music, Poetry, Running, Song, walking, Writing 1 Minute

It’s Christmas Eve.

I wondered how I would feel. On THIS day. With wombie gone. For the first of many times.

I thought work would be hard. It wasn’t. I ordered a joyful day. This day, having been made for me, by the Lord, as the good book says.😎

So, I scrounged up some joy.

Grief stopped by. Asked if it could stay. I said only for a brief moment. I used that time for a teensy, weensy cry. I had things to do.

Sad saw grief. Asked if it could stay, too. I said heckamiah Jeremiah to the naw. I got thangs to do. I got about doing thangs…

I talked and laughed, with my work daughter. 🥰🤗

I gabbed with fam and friends, via text.

I made the Velveeta Shells and Cheese for Christmas dinner. 🥰😎👍

I made strawberry jello for dessert. My weight said NO Cool Whip to top off said jello…*pout*.

I decided to be efficient and yak at yall, whilst the chicken breasts cooked away in the air fryer.

Happily, joyfully, I pecked away until the smell of burning(?) chicken hollered from tue kitchen…huh?

Huh?

HUH?! OMG!!

*Cassandra rushes to the kitchen, took photo of the food crime scene, and updated the dinner list to include hockey pucks, formerly known as chicken breasts. 😳🤔🤷🏿‍♀️

I’m satisfied. I worked a week I was CERTAIN I would never make it through. I quit 50 times, during the week. I have Christmas off. Then,  have to work Friday and will have the weekend off. A fair trade. I think  😳🤣

Be encouraged, beloveds. You can do so much more than you give yourself credit for.  I am learning I can as well. In real time.

Have an amazing tomorrow.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: 😁😎🥰🙏

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

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Published by Cassandra S.

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4 thoughts on “Grief will have it’s way, and that’s okay. I told sad no, though. 🤗”

  1. This will be a very difficult Christmas for you, Cassandra. Do what you need to do to get through it. And if that involves lots of double cream, so be it. Santa doesn’t judge… Breathe in, breathe out. Sit with your grief, and whatever feelings may come along. This is part of you. This is what makes you YOU, and sometimes life just sucks, no matter how you look at it. There are people on this planet thinking of you during this difficult time and I’m sending lots of love and hugs across the pond.

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    1. Ah, Britta, my heart so needed these words. Was able to shed tears I am desperate to hold onto. I keep telling myself I have to get through another work week, first. I have to be there for family, first. I have to convince friends I really am okay, first. Don’t tell, Britta, but I am not okay. Will I ever be? I think so. I felt this way, but completely different, when mom died. I don’t know why THIS twin loss is a loss I try not to think on. I’m pretending she is out there. Somewhere. Just out of phone call’s reach. Ah, God. What in the fresh hell do I do with me now…

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      1. I’m not surprised that this feels so much harder than your mum’s death. As much as we all struggle to come to terms with the loss of a parent, it’s a completely different thing if a sibling dies, and far too young. Of course you’re not okay right now. It will be a long time before you are anywhere near okay-ish. Remember: the dead want you to live. You have your life, you are making a difference in the world and the world needs you. Your mum and your sister will always be with you. Right now, all you need to do is to keep breathing. Allow yourself time. I know society always wants us to move on as quickly as possible and become productive citizens again, but this is a big change and you will need time to process. There is no fast track for grief. This will change you and make you more you at the same time. Thinking of you and sending hugs from across the pond.

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      2. I have NO idea how you knew what to say. I have been trying, desperately, to get fam and friends to understand and most haven’t the first clue. Trying to work is maddening. I want to scream and stomp around asking why the world is acting like nothing significant has happened. Am trying my best to, at least, be a bit of comfort to someone. Thank you. Yikes, I wouldn’t wish this hard on an avowed enemy. 😳😥🍋😡

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